September 9, 2012 - A breath of fresh air (final)

4:00
When Peter and I arrived today Gretchen's sister had taken her outside to get some fresh air.  It was great to see her out and about.  Peter was disappointed because he wanted to show her around outside but he did get to do some showing around so all is well.  Peter has a new destination to take her to next time, if we can figure out how to get there.

Everyone at church was rejoicing with us today.  The news has been so good lately.  I am wondering if the 10-12 weeks is still the prediction.

Gretchen looks a little tired today but, given the amount she accomplished this week I think she has earned it.  The confusion seems a bit less today.  There is still confusion but it really is less.  She knows where she is and is understanding more.

Dinner time at Siskin so I will post now and update later.

8:45
Well, the old inadequacy is back.  As we were leaving Siskin Gretchen was disappointed that we were leaving so soon.  When we got home I had to come right in and figure out where I could pay the water bill (they used to have a drop box downtown - when did they take that out?) because it got buried in mail and it is due tomorrow so I came right in while Peter went out to run around.  He keeps wanting me to come out and play and there are just so many things that need my attention that even if I do come out I don't have much imagination.  I know that this will pass and that before long BOTH Gretchen and I will be playing with him again but getting to that point...

I also feel guilty because some dear friends visited Gretchen on Wednesday and then called to let us know that they did.  Apparently Peter checked the voicemail and tried to tell me about it while I was doing something else and I didn't understand.  I finally heard the voicemail today after my mother called for an update (they are having computer problems so they can't check this).  I'm having trouble keeping track of it all.  I don't blame Peter for not telling me, he tried, I just couldn't comprehend at the time so I have inadvertently been rude to my former pastor.  Through all of this, God is reminding me what a precious helper I have in Gretchen and how I have neglected to show her my appreciation as often as I should.  Brothers and sisters, learn to appreciate who and what you have, express it regularly, and never forget that every day is precious (I am still struggling with that one while I try to manage without my other half).

I had a paragraph here about the difficulties of trying to run the house the way Gretchen would while we wait for her return instead of reworking things the way I think they should be done.  I wasn't happy with the way it read so just know that because I believe she is returning fully recovered I am struggling to run this house as HER house the way SHE would run it (and doing a lousy job I might add)!

God has been truly gracious to us.  Gretchen seems to be recovering faster than expected.  I think I have managed to get all but one bill paid on time (other than the water bill that I will pay in the morning on the way to work).  We are fed (thank you everyone!) and clothed in (generally) clean clothes.  If I have to deal with a bit of chaos and a lot of disappointments for a few more weeks (even 12 is only a few) who am I to complain (okay, maybe vent a bit until I come to my senses, but not complain).  Job was faced with the lose of everything but his life and the life of his wife (and her advice was "curse God and die") but I have lost nothing except a bit of time with my wife and still have the promise that she will be restored.  Forgive me for allowing my frustrations to get the better of me.

Gretchen's strength is returning.  We still need to pray for that but now we need to emphasize the mental healing.  I see it happening because she is sharper but she still loses track of where she is in our history (this morning, before church, she thought we were back teaching at Cono).  Also, pray that she doesn't lose heart because of things like not letting her go the bathroom by herself (or even letting me take her).

Pray for Gretchen's friend (nearly family) who is battling cancer.  She wanted to come and encourage Gretchen with a visit today but the chemo made her too sick this week.  In spite of her chemo I am pretty sure she and her husband were there in the hospital  that first night and she was able to make it several times to the hospital.  Her faith and perseverance were an inspiration long before Gretchen's stroke.