September 7, 2012 - a lot has happened this week

I'm not going to spend time on that, just thought I would mention it.

This morning Gretchen told me that she was at Siskin.  That acknowledgement was hard for her and she almost cried.  Mornings seem to be better for her (as far as confusion goes).  She can be bright and chipper later in the day when she has family around but if I pay close attention I can tell she is confused and when I ask her if she's confused she admits to it.

When I saw Gretchen after work she was sitting in the wheelchair like she would if she sat down in it on her own.  I know that she gets tired of sitting in the chair but moving her involves getting the aide so I hate to move her to the bed for a break only to have them mover her back in 15 - 20 minutes.  I know that I could do it (I know it has been 30 years but I still know how to do a transfer, especially after watching them do it) but they don't want me to.  I'm hoping she improves enough, quick enough, that she can get out of the chair.

Peter and I came back down after dinner (not something we will do regularly) and she was more confused.  Not bad, but she didn't want to think a lot.  I got her glasses and let her read one of her cards.  She was able to read it but it was difficult.  I will continue to offer her things to read to help her (I mentioned Peter's board books early in the day and she liked the idea so I am going to take one to her tomorrow).

People keep reminding me that there will be ups and downs but so far I continue to see improvements every day.  I see improvement in the small things (like the way she sits in the chair or how she reaches for a cup - if it seems natural that is a good thing).  While I know that downs are a possibility I do not expect that.  Instead I look for the small improvements so that I will be able to remind her of some small improvement even though she might not be feeling like she is improving.  This battle is as much mental as physical.  If she keeps her heart in it she will overcome the discouragement that comes with this.  A large part of me wants to spend all the time I can with her so that I can be there when she needs encouragement.  I realize that I need to carry on the work she has begun with Peter and this house so I need to trust that God will provide the encouragement she needs if I am not there for her.

I do occasionally see small signs that she realizes what is ahead and wonders if she can do it.  When I see that I remind her of how far she has come and some of the other things in her life that she has overcome.  So far that helps.  As her confusion clears and she realizes the situation she will need prayer to keep her spirits up.

Yesterday, Gretchen's uncle died (her father's last remaining brother).  It has been recommended that we not tell her about it (her sister thinks she might already know) but I am thinking that I might tell her.  A lot will depend on how clear her mind is when I have the opportunity.

On top of the death of Gretchen's uncle, one of the boy's in Peter's Scout troop lost his father this past week.  Peter wants to go to the funeral tomorrow (as a show of support for someone that was encouraging to Peter) but I don't see how we can do it.  We will just have to play it by ear.  Pray for us with all the things that are coming up ("school" starts next week and we have much to do to prepare).