September 1, 2012 - (final)

8:30
I have a few minutes before I can go pay the water bill so I am going to post an update.

Gretchen is really tired this morning.  Her sister spend the night and said that Gretchen slept well.  I think she is weary.

When her sister left Gretchen started crying.  I felt bad.  I wanted to hold Gretchen and comfort her but with her sitting in a wheelchair in the dining room it was a bit difficult.

The confusion is higher today and her voice a bit weaker.  I want to encourage Gretchen and I do what I can but today she really needs God's strength because she has little of her own.

Got to make the water payment so I will post now and update it later.

4:15
Well, we knew it was coming and now it is here.

I got a call a little after 2:00 saying that Gretchen had tried to get out of bed on her own and fell.  That means that now she has to have a bed alarm.  This is no surprise so it is something to rejoice about (in a weird sort of way)

8:45
How long, O Lord, how long?  Each day I face the same challenges and although you sustain me through them repeatedly I often end the day wondering how I shall go on to face the next one.  If I am feeling this way how must my wife feel.  Provide her comfort and strength and endurance for the road ahead.

I got the report on Gretchen today (her staff evaluations occur on Mondays).  With her legs she is doing quite well and with some things in her upper body she is doing well but the things that require mental concentration have her moving at a snail's pace.  I do not doubt that she will make a full recovery but I do not know if I have the strength to persevere.  We are one week later than the last estimate and they are projecting 9 to 11 weeks.  Pray for me.

I am still pondering visitors.  I know they are good for her but I also know that she wears out so easily right now.  Since we are limited to only two visitors at a time (we can fudge a bit but I don't want to abuse it) I need to figure out a way to arrange who will be visiting when.  The best time is shortly after dinner (dinner ends around 5:00) but she does wear out quickly at that point.  Laughter is good for her, as is quiet conversation.  If you are interested in visiting her please be patient while I get organized (if you know of a website designed for this please let me know).

One very positive thing that occurred while Peter and I were there tonight was a brief discussion that I had with her once she was relaxing in bed with her eyes closed.  We were talking and she sounded just like she did before the stroke when she would be in a similar situation.  She also sounded like she was comprehending better (of course, my mom SOUNDED like she was comprehending when she would be taking a nap and we would ask her if we could go do something she normally wouldn't let us do - we always got to do it if she was napping but rarely if she wasn't).

Though I am tired and wonder how I will continue I ask you to rejoice with me because I still have my other half.