August 18, 2012 - 4:00 visit

There is no easy way to learn humility!

Gretchen was a bit more alert at the 4:00 visit.  Unfortunately, since she was in and out of consciousness, that got me into trouble.  Since we were going to be with her I asked if we could release her hands.  I told her what we were doing and told her not to pull out the tube in her nose.  She drifted off for a couple of minutes and then woke after a few minutes.  Her nose was itchy (the nurse agrees it is partly the bandage holding the tube in place) so she reached up and scratched.  I don't know if she caught the tape on her finger or if she noticed the tube while scratching but next thing I knew her hand was coming down and the tube was coming with it.  I acted fast and stopped her hand before the tube came out and sent Peter to get the nurse.  Fortunately, the nurse just had to replace the bandage.

I don't know if the CT scan today was better or not (I suspect that it wasn't much better but I know it wasn't worse).  The blood remaining in her brain is probably what is causing her to drift in and out and preventing her from being fully alert.  It is that lack of alertness that kept the neurosurgeon from removing her drain today and is probably what is preventing them from letter her take food by mouth (they were supposed to do a swallow test one morning recently, probably yesterday, but she was too groggy).

Generally the nurses have been good.  The nurse today (first time with Gretchen) has been quite sociable and open with what is going on.  She did comment this afternoon that she has noticed how much better Gretchen does later in the day (I keep telling people that for whatever reason Gretchen has never liked to wake up, as long as I have known her - and stories of her dad carrying her to breakfast because she was too sleepy to walk only lead me to believe that this is a lifelong thing).  Now if she will just tell that to the new neurosurgeon.

Have I grown proud in recent years?  I feel like God is humbling me through all of this.  Two young men came over today and mowed my lawn.  It was one of the hardest things I have faced so far.  Don't get me wrong, I deeply appreciated it but I now understand what my dad must have felt when he realized he needed someone else to mow his lawn (but I will be able to mow mine again someday).  And people have begun to bring us food.  It helps, and we deeply appreciate it, but I feel so undeserving.

Peter has been refreshed by his recent outings.  His most recent trip took him up on North Chickamauga Creek around the Cumberland trail and he came back wet and happy.  I wish that I had gone but there were obligations around here.  I am hoping that Gretchen will soon be well enough that she can give her blessing to Peter and I helping out with the brook trout monitoring up in the Tellico area.  We've done it a couple times and were going to do it again this year until it fell the same day as our flight to Washington.  With Washington cancelled I am hoping that Gretchen will be well enough that I can get away for one day (Peter and I are both replenished by being in streams).  Peter is willing to skip it but seeing how refreshed he was today made me long for a similar escape.

Continue to pray for Gretchen's alertness.  Her brain needs to reabsorb the excess fluid so that it can resume proper functioning.  Peter has demonstrated the most patience and faith of us all but I see signs that this is getting old for him.  The diversions have been VERY helpful (thank you, again!) but pray that he will be given an extra dose of courage and faith as we begin to deal with the slow progress (if that is what God sees fit to send).  Pray for encouragement for me (between being humbled by not being able to be superman and do it all and being humbled by the recent generosity I am feeling quite worm-like).