We are trying very hard to adjust. I am not sure how Peter is going to handle it tomorrow when he is here with Gretchen, alone.
Today has gone well but I have to remind her to focus when she is working on things. Unfortunately, I also provide most of her distractions so I need to remember to cut the clever comments when she is trying to focus.
Siskin would probably have a fit over the fact that she is taking baths instead of using a shower chair. I stay with her when she bathes (I tell her not to drown if I have to step out for a moment) and it seems to be the one, complex, thing that she is able to do with no trouble. If I didn't stay in the room I probably wouldn't let her bathe but then if she were to shower I would need to assist with that as well so I guess this bit of normalcy has been resumed. Last night she was even able to stand up from the tub on her own. The big concern with that is slipping but we put a rubber mat in the tub, on the tub edge, and on the floor outside the tub. It looks tacky (I bought the cheap one) but I figure she will recover to the point of not needing it any longer so why invest in nice when functional will do.
Pray for Peter tomorrow that he will be able to bear up with staying inside (unless Gretchen goes outside) until I get home. Also pray for patience for both of them as they deal with the challenges of the day.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Saturday, September 29, 2012
September 29, 2012 - lots of adjustments
Gretchen has the ability to focus for brief periods and be fairly "with it". We are now with her 24x7 and are seeing how she really is. If it weren't my wife and the mother of my son this would be quite entertaining.
Things get put away wherever she sees fit at the time. A box of cereal goes with the pots and pans. A pair of her pants and one of her shirts go together in Peter's underwear drawer. We are working on the concept of one thing at a time (no more multi-tasking for a while) and then compare what you have to what is where you are trying to put it. She really has a strong desire (almost a need) to fully return to her place in the household.
I am trying to work with her to help her get the hang of things. I let her help warm up dinner tonight. While we were working I would give her a specific thing to do and ask her to do it. I watch but leave it up to her. If it involves a sharp knife I take care of it but other than that I let her focus on one thing at a time. It actually worked well but it does take longer to do everything.
Pray that things will continue to go well and that I will be able to get back to work full-time.
Things get put away wherever she sees fit at the time. A box of cereal goes with the pots and pans. A pair of her pants and one of her shirts go together in Peter's underwear drawer. We are working on the concept of one thing at a time (no more multi-tasking for a while) and then compare what you have to what is where you are trying to put it. She really has a strong desire (almost a need) to fully return to her place in the household.
I am trying to work with her to help her get the hang of things. I let her help warm up dinner tonight. While we were working I would give her a specific thing to do and ask her to do it. I watch but leave it up to her. If it involves a sharp knife I take care of it but other than that I let her focus on one thing at a time. It actually worked well but it does take longer to do everything.
Pray that things will continue to go well and that I will be able to get back to work full-time.
Friday, September 28, 2012
September 28, 2012 - HOME AT LAST!!!
Literally.
Actually, we've been home for a while but it took us forever to get here. She was paro...I mean, discharged at 10:55 and then had to walk from Siskin to the MRI area at the front of Erlanger (we used the bridge). We chose to walk because Gretchen needed to move around after being cooped up for 4 weeks. It was a good thing we did since the MRI parking was full (there were multiple children accompanied by multiple adults and apparently everyone came in a separate car). Discharge was scheduled for 11:00 and the MRI for 11:30 (they told us to come at 11:00 to fill out paperwork which is why we got discharged 5 minutes early - probably the only reason). The paperwork took all of 10 minutes and then we waited. 11:30 came and then we waited. Noon came and then we waited. Finally, at 12:30 (an hour and a half after we arrived) they called her back.
When Gretchen went back I asked how long it would be and they told me 30-40 minutes. Peter and decided to walk to the car and get our drinks. We arrived back just before 1:00 and waited...and waited...and waited. Finally I asked someone and they told me to expect about twice what they tell you (now I was getting concerned, she told me to expect twice what we were told so she essentially told me 60-80 minutes but if I believe her I have to double that, and if I believe that I have to double that...we're never getting home). I just got through pondering the ramifications of infinite doubling of time when Gretchen finally came out (I was glad for the distraction).
We made it home a bit after 2:00. Peter had put a balloon on the mailbox to welcome Gretchen so I came in so we could see it. Well, apparently someone took the hint because there were now decorations all over our porch. Gretchen's sister had brought plants (from her and a family friend) and some friends down the road had brought all sorts of colorful decorations. Quite the homecoming!
Right now, Gretchen is taking a bath (don't tell Siskin, they recommend that she showers) and I am hovering nearby working on this (thank heavens for the netbook) to make sure she doesn't drown. Actually, Gretchen is doing quite well. It seems that some of the self care things are automatic so I guess I really am just making sure she doesn't drown.
Life is going to be tough for a while. Gretchen walked right past the bathroom earlier when that is where she was headed. And we never really know when her brain is engaged and when it isn't. The next couple days will tell me whether Peter will be able to handle it when I go to work.
Well, Gretchen is done with her bath (although she did just say that being in a warm tub is the "greatest feeling on earth") so I better post and then help her out.
Actually, we've been home for a while but it took us forever to get here. She was paro...I mean, discharged at 10:55 and then had to walk from Siskin to the MRI area at the front of Erlanger (we used the bridge). We chose to walk because Gretchen needed to move around after being cooped up for 4 weeks. It was a good thing we did since the MRI parking was full (there were multiple children accompanied by multiple adults and apparently everyone came in a separate car). Discharge was scheduled for 11:00 and the MRI for 11:30 (they told us to come at 11:00 to fill out paperwork which is why we got discharged 5 minutes early - probably the only reason). The paperwork took all of 10 minutes and then we waited. 11:30 came and then we waited. Noon came and then we waited. Finally, at 12:30 (an hour and a half after we arrived) they called her back.
When Gretchen went back I asked how long it would be and they told me 30-40 minutes. Peter and decided to walk to the car and get our drinks. We arrived back just before 1:00 and waited...and waited...and waited. Finally I asked someone and they told me to expect about twice what they tell you (now I was getting concerned, she told me to expect twice what we were told so she essentially told me 60-80 minutes but if I believe her I have to double that, and if I believe that I have to double that...we're never getting home). I just got through pondering the ramifications of infinite doubling of time when Gretchen finally came out (I was glad for the distraction).
We made it home a bit after 2:00. Peter had put a balloon on the mailbox to welcome Gretchen so I came in so we could see it. Well, apparently someone took the hint because there were now decorations all over our porch. Gretchen's sister had brought plants (from her and a family friend) and some friends down the road had brought all sorts of colorful decorations. Quite the homecoming!
Right now, Gretchen is taking a bath (don't tell Siskin, they recommend that she showers) and I am hovering nearby working on this (thank heavens for the netbook) to make sure she doesn't drown. Actually, Gretchen is doing quite well. It seems that some of the self care things are automatic so I guess I really am just making sure she doesn't drown.
Life is going to be tough for a while. Gretchen walked right past the bathroom earlier when that is where she was headed. And we never really know when her brain is engaged and when it isn't. The next couple days will tell me whether Peter will be able to handle it when I go to work.
Well, Gretchen is done with her bath (although she did just say that being in a warm tub is the "greatest feeling on earth") so I better post and then help her out.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
September 26, 2012
Family Training is done!
Gretchen is actually doing quite well. She still needs to be protected from falling, even though the therapists say she is able to catch her balance. All agree that physically she is fine, the problems now are with the mental recovery. The thing that I have noticed is that she needs interaction to keep her mental processes working. That will happen more now that she will be home on Friday (she also will have fewer breaks from activity).
Gretchen's memory is actually doing better than it appears. The problem is that her memory is not agile. We were talking and she can remember things vaguely. As we talked they became more clear and she was able to remember more. Short term memory is the real issue. She may not remember what she did 5 minutes ago but if you can get her started and stay with the topic she will remember amazing things.
I learned that she will probably have three hours of outpatient therapy three times a week for a few months. Gretchen wasn't thrilled about that. I reminded her that there are some things that they can do that we can't.
During the Speech Therapy section we learned about the exercises that she needs to do to improve her swallowing and her speech. Several of them were similar to vocal exercises that she has done for singing. Afterward I talked to Gretchen about getting some voice lessons from her father once he gets back from a trip that he has planned. She was agreeable to that.
I've learned that there are some things that we should do to make our house "safe" for Gretchen. The main things are related to bathing (grab bars, etc.). The other thing is that, given her sort term memory issues, Gretchen is not allowed to cook, at least not unsupervised (which means that I will be involved since Peter is also prone to distraction). Looks like I will be busy for a while since she can't bath alone or cook alone.
Pray for us this weekend. I need to spend the weekend judging whether or not Peter will be sufficient supervision for her during my workday. If not I will need to make other arrangements.
Gretchen is actually doing quite well. She still needs to be protected from falling, even though the therapists say she is able to catch her balance. All agree that physically she is fine, the problems now are with the mental recovery. The thing that I have noticed is that she needs interaction to keep her mental processes working. That will happen more now that she will be home on Friday (she also will have fewer breaks from activity).
Gretchen's memory is actually doing better than it appears. The problem is that her memory is not agile. We were talking and she can remember things vaguely. As we talked they became more clear and she was able to remember more. Short term memory is the real issue. She may not remember what she did 5 minutes ago but if you can get her started and stay with the topic she will remember amazing things.
I learned that she will probably have three hours of outpatient therapy three times a week for a few months. Gretchen wasn't thrilled about that. I reminded her that there are some things that they can do that we can't.
During the Speech Therapy section we learned about the exercises that she needs to do to improve her swallowing and her speech. Several of them were similar to vocal exercises that she has done for singing. Afterward I talked to Gretchen about getting some voice lessons from her father once he gets back from a trip that he has planned. She was agreeable to that.
I've learned that there are some things that we should do to make our house "safe" for Gretchen. The main things are related to bathing (grab bars, etc.). The other thing is that, given her sort term memory issues, Gretchen is not allowed to cook, at least not unsupervised (which means that I will be involved since Peter is also prone to distraction). Looks like I will be busy for a while since she can't bath alone or cook alone.
Pray for us this weekend. I need to spend the weekend judging whether or not Peter will be sufficient supervision for her during my workday. If not I will need to make other arrangements.
Monday, September 24, 2012
September 24, 2012 - D-05
Gretchen is a bit tired after the weekend.
Peter and I took Gretchen down to dinner so that she could walk down. While we were there the nurse came by and told us that Gretchen had managed to wriggle out of her wheelchair in spite of the belt that was supposed to hold her in her chair. We had a big laugh about that but it does mean that they have had to change the type of belt that they use to hold her in her chair. She will be so glad when she isn't restricted.
Well, Peter didn't take the message about doing what he needs to last week. I left several things for him to do. He did some of them but initially told me that he took a "relaxed" day. When I got home and looked at the computer it turns out that he had watched Bonanza, The Rifleman, and several other programs along with doing some "research". I was disappointed and let him know that. I have given him another chance because I want him to develop responsibility (but if he does it again he loses the internet access).
Well, I have TVA work to do and bills to pay and a house to clean...
Peter and I took Gretchen down to dinner so that she could walk down. While we were there the nurse came by and told us that Gretchen had managed to wriggle out of her wheelchair in spite of the belt that was supposed to hold her in her chair. We had a big laugh about that but it does mean that they have had to change the type of belt that they use to hold her in her chair. She will be so glad when she isn't restricted.
Well, Peter didn't take the message about doing what he needs to last week. I left several things for him to do. He did some of them but initially told me that he took a "relaxed" day. When I got home and looked at the computer it turns out that he had watched Bonanza, The Rifleman, and several other programs along with doing some "research". I was disappointed and let him know that. I have given him another chance because I want him to develop responsibility (but if he does it again he loses the internet access).
Well, I have TVA work to do and bills to pay and a house to clean...
Sunday, September 23, 2012
September 23, 2012 - D-05
Let me start of by thanking everyone that has helped us through all of this. Though our trials are not yet over I want to offer you our thanks before I get busy and forget. Those of you who know me know that, while I am very appreciative, I am not very good at thank you notes. I always intend to write them but sitting down to do it is another matter. If you have done anything for us, provide meals, assist with Peter, help in the yard, pray for us, anything, know that I am truly appreciative. With my track record of sending thank yous this is a big step. If the take them a meal website retains the information long enough I may be able to send a thank you to those who helped in that way but if you helped in any other way the record will be lost before I get that organized. (by the way, if you provided food in a non-disposable container and I have not gotten it back to you please let me know - once the food was out of the containers and they were washed I had a hard time telling what was what)
Gretchen and I had a wonderful day. Peter went to Lake Winnie this afternoon with his cousins so I brought Gretchen up to the house for a quiet visit. It was good for her. For a couple of hours she could go where she pleased (as long as it wasn't down the stairs) without consulting anyone. She almost fell at one point but managed to catch herself (her knees will buckle occasionally). All this made me realize that, while it will be scarey for all of us, when she comes home for good this Friday we will be able to manage. I will still be handling most of the housework (although Gretchen put some clothes away and got out some clothes for Peter for tomorrow) and cooking for a while but I am confident that allowing Gretchen to regulate her world will help her recovery.
There was one "funny" incident today. I hadn't eaten lunch yet when we got to the house so I fixed myself something and got a bit of it for her. Since I wanted her to relax I suggested we sit in the living room to eat (a rare thing but not unheard of). When Gretchen finished eating she got up and went to the hall and down the hall. From where I was sitting I could see she was confused so I asked where she was going. She told me that she was putting her dish in the sink. I responded that she had gone the long way because through the dining room is shorter. Gretchen agreed and then turned toward the back door (away from the sink). Realizing what she had done she turned around, made a comment about being drifty, and headed for the sink. Okay, you had to be there. But this illustrates how she is able to adapt once she is in her own environment and why I know that we will manage (as long as I hide the knives from her - I told her that).
Gretchen did go to church at Siskin today (had I thought about it I would have made arrangements to take her to church with us). The nurses heard her sing Amazing Grace down by the nurses station so they suggested she might sing a solo at the service. Apparently the pastor never got the word so, to Gretchen's relief, she was not asked to sing (her voice is still gravelly so I know she was self-conscious). Her sister and brother-in-law went to the service with her (I needed to go to our church to give a report) and said it was wonderful to hear her sing with the other patients. It is my hope that she will be up to going to church next Sunday so I can sing with her.
Peter had a good time at Lake Winnie with his cousins. They talked him into going on several rides that he normally wouldn't consider and he loved them. There are still a few that they couldn't convince him to try (he has his father's aversion to being upside-down) but he did have a great time.
I am definitely feeling the magnitude of what has to happen before Gretchen comes home and what will need to happen once she is home. On my own I have no clue how I will manage everything but I know that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!" (Philippians 4:13)
Gretchen and I had a wonderful day. Peter went to Lake Winnie this afternoon with his cousins so I brought Gretchen up to the house for a quiet visit. It was good for her. For a couple of hours she could go where she pleased (as long as it wasn't down the stairs) without consulting anyone. She almost fell at one point but managed to catch herself (her knees will buckle occasionally). All this made me realize that, while it will be scarey for all of us, when she comes home for good this Friday we will be able to manage. I will still be handling most of the housework (although Gretchen put some clothes away and got out some clothes for Peter for tomorrow) and cooking for a while but I am confident that allowing Gretchen to regulate her world will help her recovery.
There was one "funny" incident today. I hadn't eaten lunch yet when we got to the house so I fixed myself something and got a bit of it for her. Since I wanted her to relax I suggested we sit in the living room to eat (a rare thing but not unheard of). When Gretchen finished eating she got up and went to the hall and down the hall. From where I was sitting I could see she was confused so I asked where she was going. She told me that she was putting her dish in the sink. I responded that she had gone the long way because through the dining room is shorter. Gretchen agreed and then turned toward the back door (away from the sink). Realizing what she had done she turned around, made a comment about being drifty, and headed for the sink. Okay, you had to be there. But this illustrates how she is able to adapt once she is in her own environment and why I know that we will manage (as long as I hide the knives from her - I told her that).
Gretchen did go to church at Siskin today (had I thought about it I would have made arrangements to take her to church with us). The nurses heard her sing Amazing Grace down by the nurses station so they suggested she might sing a solo at the service. Apparently the pastor never got the word so, to Gretchen's relief, she was not asked to sing (her voice is still gravelly so I know she was self-conscious). Her sister and brother-in-law went to the service with her (I needed to go to our church to give a report) and said it was wonderful to hear her sing with the other patients. It is my hope that she will be up to going to church next Sunday so I can sing with her.
Peter had a good time at Lake Winnie with his cousins. They talked him into going on several rides that he normally wouldn't consider and he loved them. There are still a few that they couldn't convince him to try (he has his father's aversion to being upside-down) but he did have a great time.
I am definitely feeling the magnitude of what has to happen before Gretchen comes home and what will need to happen once she is home. On my own I have no clue how I will manage everything but I know that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!" (Philippians 4:13)
Saturday, September 22, 2012
September 22, 2012 - D-06 (I think I missed a day)
Okay, well actually I did miss a day. I apologize, there was a whole lot going on and I just never got to posting.
Yesterday was one of those days with a race to the end with nothing going right. Basically, I tried to orchestrate the day and make things go the way I wanted and God wanted me to trust Him.
It makes Gretchen very sad every time we leave her and that hurts. She is tired, but she doesn't need more sleep, she needs things to occupy her. She gets in bed whenever she can because it means that she isn't tied to her wheelchair. I get her out of it whenever I am there and encourage her to sit in one of the chairs in her room so that she gets some variety. The main thing she wants to do is stand but I don't know if she is allowed, in general (I have been "trained").
We had the Boy Scouts from the troop here on the mountain come and do some yardwork this morning. It was appreciated and now Gretchen can get out of the van on a slightly flatter area and walk around the yard without tripping. Peter missed it because he was working on a merit badge with his troop down the mountain (he earned it today).
This afternoon Peter, Tasha, and I took Gretchen for a ride in the car. We drove up the mountain and went by her parents' house and then to our house. We got out and walked around the yard but didn't go into the house. We were short on time and had to get her back for dinner. I think she enjoyed herself and she actually ate most of her dinner once back.
I plan to take Gretchen out again tomorrow. We'll spend most of the afternoon out and probably go into the house so she can help pick some clothes for there at Siskin. We may even go to the native plant sale at Reflection Riding. Peter will be going to Lake Winnie with some of his cousins so we can move at whatever pace Gretchen chooses.
Pray for all of us during this final week of Siskin (that it is the final week is first on the list). Gretchen needs to continue to improve but she also needs her spirits to stay up. I can tell she is weary of it but is working hard to be cooperative. Peter needs to focus on the work he needs to do and avoid time on the computer (except for checking his email). Me, I have so much to do. God has been amazing in sustaining me in spite of everything that I have done to make it difficult for Him. Pray that I will rest when I need to and not waste time when I need to work.
I will try to continue to update daily but I am being so focused that I miss or forget some of the noteworthy events.
Yesterday was one of those days with a race to the end with nothing going right. Basically, I tried to orchestrate the day and make things go the way I wanted and God wanted me to trust Him.
It makes Gretchen very sad every time we leave her and that hurts. She is tired, but she doesn't need more sleep, she needs things to occupy her. She gets in bed whenever she can because it means that she isn't tied to her wheelchair. I get her out of it whenever I am there and encourage her to sit in one of the chairs in her room so that she gets some variety. The main thing she wants to do is stand but I don't know if she is allowed, in general (I have been "trained").
We had the Boy Scouts from the troop here on the mountain come and do some yardwork this morning. It was appreciated and now Gretchen can get out of the van on a slightly flatter area and walk around the yard without tripping. Peter missed it because he was working on a merit badge with his troop down the mountain (he earned it today).
This afternoon Peter, Tasha, and I took Gretchen for a ride in the car. We drove up the mountain and went by her parents' house and then to our house. We got out and walked around the yard but didn't go into the house. We were short on time and had to get her back for dinner. I think she enjoyed herself and she actually ate most of her dinner once back.
I plan to take Gretchen out again tomorrow. We'll spend most of the afternoon out and probably go into the house so she can help pick some clothes for there at Siskin. We may even go to the native plant sale at Reflection Riding. Peter will be going to Lake Winnie with some of his cousins so we can move at whatever pace Gretchen chooses.
Pray for all of us during this final week of Siskin (that it is the final week is first on the list). Gretchen needs to continue to improve but she also needs her spirits to stay up. I can tell she is weary of it but is working hard to be cooperative. Peter needs to focus on the work he needs to do and avoid time on the computer (except for checking his email). Me, I have so much to do. God has been amazing in sustaining me in spite of everything that I have done to make it difficult for Him. Pray that I will rest when I need to and not waste time when I need to work.
I will try to continue to update daily but I am being so focused that I miss or forget some of the noteworthy events.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
September 20, 2012 - D-08
Not really time for this tonight, I have been dealing with problems in Washington State. Please pray for my family out there as we are dealing with the health issues of my parents. Both my brothers are 1 - 2 hours from my parents and my parents are needing more assistance (their church has helped but it is our responsibility first). It is hard for me because I am the oldest and feel the responsibility to take up the reins and yet I have a wife and son who need me here (this has occurred more than once over the years).
Peter and I had a "discussion" about what he is doing during the day (I know what he hasn't been doing as well as what he has been doing, but he doesn't know that I know). Pray that his self-motivation will return and that I will have wisdom if it doesn't.
Gretchen is walking around unassisted (sometimes when she shouldn't) but she is doing well. I need to ask the staff what I need to do to use the day pass (and if it is good for more than one day). I want to take her for a drive on Saturday but I would also like to take her for a drive on Sunday as well (I think Peter has plans for Sunday, but they haven't been confirmed so I was hoping to get a quiet drive to follow on the heals of the energetic one with Peter).
Daily we see the confusion improve and the strength improve. Please continue to pray for her.
Gretchen's aunt passed on several prayer requests but I don't recall all of them. Please pray for her and her family.
Peter and I had a "discussion" about what he is doing during the day (I know what he hasn't been doing as well as what he has been doing, but he doesn't know that I know). Pray that his self-motivation will return and that I will have wisdom if it doesn't.
Gretchen is walking around unassisted (sometimes when she shouldn't) but she is doing well. I need to ask the staff what I need to do to use the day pass (and if it is good for more than one day). I want to take her for a drive on Saturday but I would also like to take her for a drive on Sunday as well (I think Peter has plans for Sunday, but they haven't been confirmed so I was hoping to get a quiet drive to follow on the heals of the energetic one with Peter).
Daily we see the confusion improve and the strength improve. Please continue to pray for her.
Gretchen's aunt passed on several prayer requests but I don't recall all of them. Please pray for her and her family.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
September 19, 2012 - D-09
Gretchen is a bit tired today but she has been walking down to meals so she can get out of her chair. I even got to walk her back from dinner.
When I was talking with Gretchen this morning we were discussing how long she had been at Siskin and I was trying to calculate it. Gretchen blurted out that she had been there two and a half weeks. Amazingly she was right. Five minutes later she couldn't remember how long it had been. The brain is a funny thing.
When Gretchen and I were talking this evening she commented how the therapy wasn't all that helpful and that the real recovery was the result of miracles. I was astounded.
For some reason, I wasn't able to authenticate on the Siskin wireless today. If this persists I will probably wind up doing short posts each night, like tonight.
When I was talking with Gretchen this morning we were discussing how long she had been at Siskin and I was trying to calculate it. Gretchen blurted out that she had been there two and a half weeks. Amazingly she was right. Five minutes later she couldn't remember how long it had been. The brain is a funny thing.
When Gretchen and I were talking this evening she commented how the therapy wasn't all that helpful and that the real recovery was the result of miracles. I was astounded.
For some reason, I wasn't able to authenticate on the Siskin wireless today. If this persists I will probably wind up doing short posts each night, like tonight.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
September 18, 2012 - D-10
Given the hour I probably won't update much today. I did want to say that if you didn't read my main post yesterday then you missed the main discussion of what happened.
Peter and Gretchen are playing Go Fish right now. I thought it would be good for both of them. Gretchen is a bit slow but I think it is good for her to think in different ways.
by the way, D-10 means discharge minus 10 days (and counting).
Peter and Gretchen are playing Go Fish right now. I thought it would be good for both of them. Gretchen is a bit slow but I think it is good for her to think in different ways.
by the way, D-10 means discharge minus 10 days (and counting).
Monday, September 17, 2012
EXTRA, EXTRA, READ ALL ABOUT IT!!!
Gretchen has a tentative discharge date of Friday, September 28!
God is truly amazing! Gretchen had her therapy evaluation today and I was expecting to hear that it would be 8-10 more weeks before she could go home. Instead they told us September 28.
Now, if you will excuse me, I want to go talk with my wife and son!
God is truly amazing! Gretchen had her therapy evaluation today and I was expecting to hear that it would be 8-10 more weeks before she could go home. Instead they told us September 28.
Now, if you will excuse me, I want to go talk with my wife and son!
September 17, 2012 (Final)
4:00
This morning the doctor asked Gretchen what he could do for her and she said "Get me out of here!"
I took the time this morning to get checked out/trained for getting Gretchen out of the chair and to the bathroom or car. I know that doesn't sound like much but for Gretchen it will mean a lot (imagine always having someone watch you in the bathroom). Next up is scheduling a drive this weekend.
Gretchen was really sad when I left this morning. She got a bit weepy and I spent a few minutes encouraging her and letting her know how far she has come.
I am sitting her listening to a neighbor who lives in a cabin up the street (she brought Peter down for me). Gretchen is conversing about all manner of things. There is some confusion but it is very minor and I think that she is working hard to overcome it.
I am going to post now and try to update later.
8:00
Okay, I broke the rules and made a post between 4:00 and 8:00. If you haven't read my "EXTRA..." post yet all I can say is "why not?" The news was such that I felt I had to create an extra post and let it stand on its own.
God continues to confusticate my need for routine (okay, in this case I admit that I have grown weary of this routine). I was finally getting the pattern established of the mornings and the various nights and the weekends and He decides it is time to send her home. Fortunately I have 10 days to get the house ready. Unfortunately, with the schedule I have been keeping I need more like 10 weeks (wait, that's what I expected them to say that I have).
I had such high hopes for things that I would get done around here but if I can de-bachelorize this place I think Gretchen will be happy enough that she will overlook anything that isn't improved.
Right now Peter is out tromping in the rain. I never begrudge him his outside time, especially when I know that I will be asking a lot of him in the coming days. I know that he is up to the task if he feels the motivation.
I have spoken with others who have told me of how their faith in God has been strengthened by this whole situation. I have often commented about how Gretchen is a fighter but this miraculous recovery is not because she is a fighter but because God was gracious enough to bring it about. Some people might say that it is easy to have faith when God is doing miraculous healings and I agree. But to those who have admitted their sin and need of a savior, asked God to forgive them and felt the miracle of reconciliation we know that faith is how we survive (if we don't have this forgiveness, which we can't see, hear, or touch, then why not get whatever I can in this life?).
When all this started I was prepared for Gretchen to die. I did not want it but I have been blessed by constant small reminders that, barring "accident", I will probably outlive Gretchen, possibly by a very long time, so I was prepared. When the grief at the potential loss began to well up I was comforted by Philippians 4:13 (I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me). I thought the strength was for dealing with the coming loss but when she replied appropriately to my hand squeeze signals following
the emergency insertion of the drain I began to realize she would live. When God spoke through His Word on Monday night my faith was strengthened for the long trauma of ICU. Have there been times of doubt, of course (they are in my previous posts) but the faith that God was doing something that I couldn't comprehend right now and that it would all work out for His greater glory (see Romans 8:28) was there and I was just wanting to understand.
I could go on and on about all this, and would like to, but I have Peter's math to grade and a house to clean and I really need to get to bed by 10.
Rejoice with us tonight! Tomorrow the work continues: Gretchen needs more clarity, better balance, and more upper body strength/coordination; I need to focus on the preparations for Gretchen coming home; Peter needs to focus on his schoolwork and chores (please pray accordingly).
This morning the doctor asked Gretchen what he could do for her and she said "Get me out of here!"
I took the time this morning to get checked out/trained for getting Gretchen out of the chair and to the bathroom or car. I know that doesn't sound like much but for Gretchen it will mean a lot (imagine always having someone watch you in the bathroom). Next up is scheduling a drive this weekend.
Gretchen was really sad when I left this morning. She got a bit weepy and I spent a few minutes encouraging her and letting her know how far she has come.
I am sitting her listening to a neighbor who lives in a cabin up the street (she brought Peter down for me). Gretchen is conversing about all manner of things. There is some confusion but it is very minor and I think that she is working hard to overcome it.
I am going to post now and try to update later.
8:00
Okay, I broke the rules and made a post between 4:00 and 8:00. If you haven't read my "EXTRA..." post yet all I can say is "why not?" The news was such that I felt I had to create an extra post and let it stand on its own.
God continues to confusticate my need for routine (okay, in this case I admit that I have grown weary of this routine). I was finally getting the pattern established of the mornings and the various nights and the weekends and He decides it is time to send her home. Fortunately I have 10 days to get the house ready. Unfortunately, with the schedule I have been keeping I need more like 10 weeks (wait, that's what I expected them to say that I have).
I had such high hopes for things that I would get done around here but if I can de-bachelorize this place I think Gretchen will be happy enough that she will overlook anything that isn't improved.
Right now Peter is out tromping in the rain. I never begrudge him his outside time, especially when I know that I will be asking a lot of him in the coming days. I know that he is up to the task if he feels the motivation.
I have spoken with others who have told me of how their faith in God has been strengthened by this whole situation. I have often commented about how Gretchen is a fighter but this miraculous recovery is not because she is a fighter but because God was gracious enough to bring it about. Some people might say that it is easy to have faith when God is doing miraculous healings and I agree. But to those who have admitted their sin and need of a savior, asked God to forgive them and felt the miracle of reconciliation we know that faith is how we survive (if we don't have this forgiveness, which we can't see, hear, or touch, then why not get whatever I can in this life?).
When all this started I was prepared for Gretchen to die. I did not want it but I have been blessed by constant small reminders that, barring "accident", I will probably outlive Gretchen, possibly by a very long time, so I was prepared. When the grief at the potential loss began to well up I was comforted by Philippians 4:13 (I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me). I thought the strength was for dealing with the coming loss but when she replied appropriately to my hand squeeze signals following
the emergency insertion of the drain I began to realize she would live. When God spoke through His Word on Monday night my faith was strengthened for the long trauma of ICU. Have there been times of doubt, of course (they are in my previous posts) but the faith that God was doing something that I couldn't comprehend right now and that it would all work out for His greater glory (see Romans 8:28) was there and I was just wanting to understand.
I could go on and on about all this, and would like to, but I have Peter's math to grade and a house to clean and I really need to get to bed by 10.
Rejoice with us tonight! Tomorrow the work continues: Gretchen needs more clarity, better balance, and more upper body strength/coordination; I need to focus on the preparations for Gretchen coming home; Peter needs to focus on his schoolwork and chores (please pray accordingly).
Sunday, September 16, 2012
September 16, 2012
Okay, so I never did an update last night.
Gretchen has been enjoying her new found dining pleasure in "soft" foods. She really enjoys chewing the food instead of slurping it down. I miss the wallpaper paste jokes but I guess I don't need them.
Today we made a decision to take our dog down to visit Gretchen. Tasha is a husky/somethingorother mix with one brown and one blue eye. She is generally well behaved but if Gretchen is around Tasha gets away with a lot so I didn't think it was a good idea to even try to bring her inside. Gretchen's sister from out of town (along with two of her boys from town) was visiting when we arrived so I had her bring Gretchen down to the "park" so Tasha didn't have to wait in the car (she is well behaved unless people come by and then - since she is a people dog - she tries to either get out or get them in). I was waiting near the door and Tasha heard/saw them coming through the entry (there are 3 sliding doors that all open differently - makes me feel like Maxwell Smart coming into Control). I don't know who was more excited, Gretchen or Tasha.
It was a good visit but when her sister and nephews (and niece who arrived later) got ready to leave Gretchen insisted on standing up to give each of them a hug (she's supposed to have staff help when she gets up). I knew what she wanted when she was trying to get up and told her she was going to get me in trouble. She got very sad and weepy and so I encouraged her about her progress.
After a few minutes of talking we noticed her parents walking toward us across the parking lot. As they got closer they were joined by a friend from high school (maybe earlier, I can't remember now) who is now a pastor at a local church (not quite local enough for us). It was a wonderful, brief, visit (Gretchen insisted on standing to give him a hug - and then she stood the whole time - I am sooooooo in trouble with the staff).
Gretchen was getting warm so she and her parents went back inside and Gretchen's friend walked back to the parking lot with Peter, Tasha, and me. We talked as we walked and when he found out which church we were in he insisted that his church would assist our church in helping us with what we need since our church is small. Our church has helped, and helped in ways that have humbled me (we joined this church because we felt God called us there because they needed us but their love and care during this time has shamed my feeble giving) but Gretchen's recovery could take a long time before we are able to easily manage. Besides, we have many friends in that church and others (many of them have known Gretchen since she was a child).
Since we needed milk and I wanted to see Gretchen again (so did Peter, he just didn't want to spend more time in the car, but he went along) we decided to make a Siskin run after dinner. We got down there and found that we weren't needed. Gretchen had 5 guests in her room before Peter and I arrived! Her sister was there (she was freshening the flowers), her parents, and two wives of retired Covenant faculty. We said hello and goodbye, told Gretchen to call us before bed, and left them to their party. Gretchen wanted to get up and I told her she needed to get help since she was inside where the staff might notice.
If they don't put up a sign limiting us to two visitors tomorrow I am thinking about telling people they can visit during visiting hours. I would recommend the 5:30pm - 7:30pm range because she does get tired (visiting hours are 5 - 9 during the week but sometimes dinner isn't served until 5). Touch base a day or two ahead of your visit with me, her sister, or her parents so that we don't wind up with a bunch of people picking the same time to visit.
Tomorrow they do a new therapy assessment on Gretchen. Pray for wisdom on the part of the therapists.
Gretchen has been enjoying her new found dining pleasure in "soft" foods. She really enjoys chewing the food instead of slurping it down. I miss the wallpaper paste jokes but I guess I don't need them.
Today we made a decision to take our dog down to visit Gretchen. Tasha is a husky/somethingorother mix with one brown and one blue eye. She is generally well behaved but if Gretchen is around Tasha gets away with a lot so I didn't think it was a good idea to even try to bring her inside. Gretchen's sister from out of town (along with two of her boys from town) was visiting when we arrived so I had her bring Gretchen down to the "park" so Tasha didn't have to wait in the car (she is well behaved unless people come by and then - since she is a people dog - she tries to either get out or get them in). I was waiting near the door and Tasha heard/saw them coming through the entry (there are 3 sliding doors that all open differently - makes me feel like Maxwell Smart coming into Control). I don't know who was more excited, Gretchen or Tasha.
It was a good visit but when her sister and nephews (and niece who arrived later) got ready to leave Gretchen insisted on standing up to give each of them a hug (she's supposed to have staff help when she gets up). I knew what she wanted when she was trying to get up and told her she was going to get me in trouble. She got very sad and weepy and so I encouraged her about her progress.
After a few minutes of talking we noticed her parents walking toward us across the parking lot. As they got closer they were joined by a friend from high school (maybe earlier, I can't remember now) who is now a pastor at a local church (not quite local enough for us). It was a wonderful, brief, visit (Gretchen insisted on standing to give him a hug - and then she stood the whole time - I am sooooooo in trouble with the staff).
Gretchen was getting warm so she and her parents went back inside and Gretchen's friend walked back to the parking lot with Peter, Tasha, and me. We talked as we walked and when he found out which church we were in he insisted that his church would assist our church in helping us with what we need since our church is small. Our church has helped, and helped in ways that have humbled me (we joined this church because we felt God called us there because they needed us but their love and care during this time has shamed my feeble giving) but Gretchen's recovery could take a long time before we are able to easily manage. Besides, we have many friends in that church and others (many of them have known Gretchen since she was a child).
Since we needed milk and I wanted to see Gretchen again (so did Peter, he just didn't want to spend more time in the car, but he went along) we decided to make a Siskin run after dinner. We got down there and found that we weren't needed. Gretchen had 5 guests in her room before Peter and I arrived! Her sister was there (she was freshening the flowers), her parents, and two wives of retired Covenant faculty. We said hello and goodbye, told Gretchen to call us before bed, and left them to their party. Gretchen wanted to get up and I told her she needed to get help since she was inside where the staff might notice.
If they don't put up a sign limiting us to two visitors tomorrow I am thinking about telling people they can visit during visiting hours. I would recommend the 5:30pm - 7:30pm range because she does get tired (visiting hours are 5 - 9 during the week but sometimes dinner isn't served until 5). Touch base a day or two ahead of your visit with me, her sister, or her parents so that we don't wind up with a bunch of people picking the same time to visit.
Tomorrow they do a new therapy assessment on Gretchen. Pray for wisdom on the part of the therapists.
Saturday, September 15, 2012
September 15, 2012 (3:15)
We didn't get to stop in this morning. Peter had a merit badge class for scouts at 9:00 and he dawdled getting to bed last night so he wasn't able to get up in time to visit on the way, especially after I found out it was farther out than I first thought. The merit badge session went well, but he needs to go back once more (we hope) to finish it.
Gretchen seems to be doing pretty well this afternoon. There has been confusion but it really seems to be associated with some kind of discomfort. Basically she doesn't handle things that deviate from the norm. Apparently Gretchen has gotten up several times today (unauthorized and on her own I assume).
Right now Peter is reading a James Herriot story to Gretchen. Some of the same stories that she read to him not that long ago. Gretchen still tires easily and her voice isn't back to full strength so for her to read to him is out of the question.
I wish that I had more time to spiff up Gretchen's room. Her sister has done a good job with furniture, flowers, and books but the walls are still bare so it is still pretty bleak in spite of all the amendments. I'm not sure how I would go about that.
Now that Gretchen is more alert she doesn't seem to want music. Perhaps it is just when we are here. I wish that she was more interested in listening to some of the CDs.
I think I will post now and try to update later.
Gretchen seems to be doing pretty well this afternoon. There has been confusion but it really seems to be associated with some kind of discomfort. Basically she doesn't handle things that deviate from the norm. Apparently Gretchen has gotten up several times today (unauthorized and on her own I assume).
Right now Peter is reading a James Herriot story to Gretchen. Some of the same stories that she read to him not that long ago. Gretchen still tires easily and her voice isn't back to full strength so for her to read to him is out of the question.
I wish that I had more time to spiff up Gretchen's room. Her sister has done a good job with furniture, flowers, and books but the walls are still bare so it is still pretty bleak in spite of all the amendments. I'm not sure how I would go about that.
Now that Gretchen is more alert she doesn't seem to want music. Perhaps it is just when we are here. I wish that she was more interested in listening to some of the CDs.
I think I will post now and try to update later.
Friday, September 14, 2012
September 14, 2012 - I'm taking a rest
Gretchen is well and eating soft foods now (no more "wallpaper paste"). My visit tonight was short and her other sister is in town visiting her so I am going to take a break from my usual long posts.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
September 13, 2012 (Final)
8:15 am
Good clear conversation this morning for most of my visit. I noticed that interruptions cause confusion.
Gretchen was able to wheel her chair into her room when I arrived.
going to be late for work so I'll post for now.
5:15 pm
Gretchen is doing well this evening. She is able to carry on a clear conversation if there are no interruptions or non-sequitors. Gretchen's appetite was good at dinner. I think we can safely say that Gretchen is having a good day. She is tired but I think that is a general condition while she is recovering. Right now Peter is regaling Gretchen with tales of the new game that he played with a friend today. It isn't really interesting to her and she may be a bit confused but she is doing a good job of feigning interest.
I just learned that Gretchen managed to get out of the bed earlier today without setting of the bed alarm. The funny part of it is that when the CNAs stripped her bed this morning I commented on how the bed alarm worked and that she just needed to keep weight in the middle of the bed and then she can get up. When one of the CNAs came in to get her back in bed we were laughing about it and the CNA told me not to give her any more ideas.
Well, probably ought to let Gretchen rest before her sister arrives.
9:00 pm
As Peter and I were talking on the way home from Siskin he made a remarkable statement. I don't remember how it came up (I was asking him something about how things are going) but he basically told me that when everything fell apart on August 12 he decided not to look back but instead to take each day as it came. I know that is easier for kids to do because they are more focused on the here and now (even then it isn't easy) but this is a true example of God's Grace in Peter's life.
I have been trying to reach some local friends that I knew back up in Washington State. When it happened someone helped me find their phone. I tried calling but got no answer (don't recall if I left a message, that was only a month ago, why can't I remember...) and then lost the number. They visited Gretchen and left a gift (he was my pastor in Washington and our pastor later) and then called and left a message. I wrote down the number and deleted the message...and then lost the number. Finally, today I got a letter of encouragement from them and they included an email address. Tonight I must write and thank them (an apologize for not being more persistent in trying to contact them.
I talked to Gretchen yesterday about visitors. She seemed a bit hesitant. I think visitors would be good but I am not sure how to arrange it yet. Hopefully we can get a couple visitors in to see her soon.
Good clear conversation this morning for most of my visit. I noticed that interruptions cause confusion.
Gretchen was able to wheel her chair into her room when I arrived.
going to be late for work so I'll post for now.
5:15 pm
Gretchen is doing well this evening. She is able to carry on a clear conversation if there are no interruptions or non-sequitors. Gretchen's appetite was good at dinner. I think we can safely say that Gretchen is having a good day. She is tired but I think that is a general condition while she is recovering. Right now Peter is regaling Gretchen with tales of the new game that he played with a friend today. It isn't really interesting to her and she may be a bit confused but she is doing a good job of feigning interest.
I just learned that Gretchen managed to get out of the bed earlier today without setting of the bed alarm. The funny part of it is that when the CNAs stripped her bed this morning I commented on how the bed alarm worked and that she just needed to keep weight in the middle of the bed and then she can get up. When one of the CNAs came in to get her back in bed we were laughing about it and the CNA told me not to give her any more ideas.
Well, probably ought to let Gretchen rest before her sister arrives.
9:00 pm
As Peter and I were talking on the way home from Siskin he made a remarkable statement. I don't remember how it came up (I was asking him something about how things are going) but he basically told me that when everything fell apart on August 12 he decided not to look back but instead to take each day as it came. I know that is easier for kids to do because they are more focused on the here and now (even then it isn't easy) but this is a true example of God's Grace in Peter's life.
I have been trying to reach some local friends that I knew back up in Washington State. When it happened someone helped me find their phone. I tried calling but got no answer (don't recall if I left a message, that was only a month ago, why can't I remember...) and then lost the number. They visited Gretchen and left a gift (he was my pastor in Washington and our pastor later) and then called and left a message. I wrote down the number and deleted the message...and then lost the number. Finally, today I got a letter of encouragement from them and they included an email address. Tonight I must write and thank them (an apologize for not being more persistent in trying to contact them.
I talked to Gretchen yesterday about visitors. She seemed a bit hesitant. I think visitors would be good but I am not sure how to arrange it yet. Hopefully we can get a couple visitors in to see her soon.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
September 11, 2012
For the first time today someone made it clear to me the nature of the road that Gretchen is facing - and it wasn't part of the medical staff. I was talking with a good friend today (his father also had a hemorrhagic stroke) and he told me that the physical recovery is the fast part. The mental recovery will probably take over a year before Gretchen is back to 100%. A number of medical people have told it would take "months" but they never told me what would take that long so I saw her physical recovery and thought that she was beating the projections. They never told me that the main physical things are the easy part so I shouldn't get my hopes up. Why can't medical people give honest predictions so that we know what to expect? (because if they are wrong and it doesn't go as predicted they are liable to get sued...maybe I should sue for the false hope caused by Gretchen apparently surpassing their vague answers! - that'd fix'em)
So, am I discouraged? No. I am wondering which miracle God will perform, getting Gretchen back to "fully" functioning in record time or sustaining me through a year of this.
One of the nurses told me early on that there would be good days and bad days in Gretchen's recovery. Apparently, today was one of the bad days. She didn't feel well all day and when Peter and I left to head to Scouts she was practically asleep.
This morning I put phone number up so that she could call Peter, her parents, and me (I'm adding her sister as well). Gretchen took advantage of that and called me at the office. I know that it is a small thing, and it was a bad time, but it meant a lot to me. I suggested that she call Peter but she just wasn't up to it. Maybe tomorrow.
Speaking of tomorrow, I just learned that I have to work late tomorrow (Wednesday) so there probably won't be a post tomorrow. I will probably be so late that Peter will come home with his night time routine completed at his grandparents' and change and go to bed.
So, am I discouraged? No. I am wondering which miracle God will perform, getting Gretchen back to "fully" functioning in record time or sustaining me through a year of this.
One of the nurses told me early on that there would be good days and bad days in Gretchen's recovery. Apparently, today was one of the bad days. She didn't feel well all day and when Peter and I left to head to Scouts she was practically asleep.
This morning I put phone number up so that she could call Peter, her parents, and me (I'm adding her sister as well). Gretchen took advantage of that and called me at the office. I know that it is a small thing, and it was a bad time, but it meant a lot to me. I suggested that she call Peter but she just wasn't up to it. Maybe tomorrow.
Speaking of tomorrow, I just learned that I have to work late tomorrow (Wednesday) so there probably won't be a post tomorrow. I will probably be so late that Peter will come home with his night time routine completed at his grandparents' and change and go to bed.
Monday, September 10, 2012
September 1, 2012 - (final)
8:30
I have a few minutes before I can go pay the water bill so I am going to post an update.
Gretchen is really tired this morning. Her sister spend the night and said that Gretchen slept well. I think she is weary.
When her sister left Gretchen started crying. I felt bad. I wanted to hold Gretchen and comfort her but with her sitting in a wheelchair in the dining room it was a bit difficult.
The confusion is higher today and her voice a bit weaker. I want to encourage Gretchen and I do what I can but today she really needs God's strength because she has little of her own.
Got to make the water payment so I will post now and update it later.
4:15
Well, we knew it was coming and now it is here.
I got a call a little after 2:00 saying that Gretchen had tried to get out of bed on her own and fell. That means that now she has to have a bed alarm. This is no surprise so it is something to rejoice about (in a weird sort of way)
8:45
How long, O Lord, how long? Each day I face the same challenges and although you sustain me through them repeatedly I often end the day wondering how I shall go on to face the next one. If I am feeling this way how must my wife feel. Provide her comfort and strength and endurance for the road ahead.
I got the report on Gretchen today (her staff evaluations occur on Mondays). With her legs she is doing quite well and with some things in her upper body she is doing well but the things that require mental concentration have her moving at a snail's pace. I do not doubt that she will make a full recovery but I do not know if I have the strength to persevere. We are one week later than the last estimate and they are projecting 9 to 11 weeks. Pray for me.
I am still pondering visitors. I know they are good for her but I also know that she wears out so easily right now. Since we are limited to only two visitors at a time (we can fudge a bit but I don't want to abuse it) I need to figure out a way to arrange who will be visiting when. The best time is shortly after dinner (dinner ends around 5:00) but she does wear out quickly at that point. Laughter is good for her, as is quiet conversation. If you are interested in visiting her please be patient while I get organized (if you know of a website designed for this please let me know).
One very positive thing that occurred while Peter and I were there tonight was a brief discussion that I had with her once she was relaxing in bed with her eyes closed. We were talking and she sounded just like she did before the stroke when she would be in a similar situation. She also sounded like she was comprehending better (of course, my mom SOUNDED like she was comprehending when she would be taking a nap and we would ask her if we could go do something she normally wouldn't let us do - we always got to do it if she was napping but rarely if she wasn't).
Though I am tired and wonder how I will continue I ask you to rejoice with me because I still have my other half.
I have a few minutes before I can go pay the water bill so I am going to post an update.
Gretchen is really tired this morning. Her sister spend the night and said that Gretchen slept well. I think she is weary.
When her sister left Gretchen started crying. I felt bad. I wanted to hold Gretchen and comfort her but with her sitting in a wheelchair in the dining room it was a bit difficult.
The confusion is higher today and her voice a bit weaker. I want to encourage Gretchen and I do what I can but today she really needs God's strength because she has little of her own.
Got to make the water payment so I will post now and update it later.
4:15
Well, we knew it was coming and now it is here.
I got a call a little after 2:00 saying that Gretchen had tried to get out of bed on her own and fell. That means that now she has to have a bed alarm. This is no surprise so it is something to rejoice about (in a weird sort of way)
8:45
How long, O Lord, how long? Each day I face the same challenges and although you sustain me through them repeatedly I often end the day wondering how I shall go on to face the next one. If I am feeling this way how must my wife feel. Provide her comfort and strength and endurance for the road ahead.
I got the report on Gretchen today (her staff evaluations occur on Mondays). With her legs she is doing quite well and with some things in her upper body she is doing well but the things that require mental concentration have her moving at a snail's pace. I do not doubt that she will make a full recovery but I do not know if I have the strength to persevere. We are one week later than the last estimate and they are projecting 9 to 11 weeks. Pray for me.
I am still pondering visitors. I know they are good for her but I also know that she wears out so easily right now. Since we are limited to only two visitors at a time (we can fudge a bit but I don't want to abuse it) I need to figure out a way to arrange who will be visiting when. The best time is shortly after dinner (dinner ends around 5:00) but she does wear out quickly at that point. Laughter is good for her, as is quiet conversation. If you are interested in visiting her please be patient while I get organized (if you know of a website designed for this please let me know).
One very positive thing that occurred while Peter and I were there tonight was a brief discussion that I had with her once she was relaxing in bed with her eyes closed. We were talking and she sounded just like she did before the stroke when she would be in a similar situation. She also sounded like she was comprehending better (of course, my mom SOUNDED like she was comprehending when she would be taking a nap and we would ask her if we could go do something she normally wouldn't let us do - we always got to do it if she was napping but rarely if she wasn't).
Though I am tired and wonder how I will continue I ask you to rejoice with me because I still have my other half.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
September 9, 2012 - A breath of fresh air (final)
4:00
When Peter and I arrived today Gretchen's sister had taken her outside to get some fresh air. It was great to see her out and about. Peter was disappointed because he wanted to show her around outside but he did get to do some showing around so all is well. Peter has a new destination to take her to next time, if we can figure out how to get there.
Everyone at church was rejoicing with us today. The news has been so good lately. I am wondering if the 10-12 weeks is still the prediction.
Gretchen looks a little tired today but, given the amount she accomplished this week I think she has earned it. The confusion seems a bit less today. There is still confusion but it really is less. She knows where she is and is understanding more.
Dinner time at Siskin so I will post now and update later.
8:45
Well, the old inadequacy is back. As we were leaving Siskin Gretchen was disappointed that we were leaving so soon. When we got home I had to come right in and figure out where I could pay the water bill (they used to have a drop box downtown - when did they take that out?) because it got buried in mail and it is due tomorrow so I came right in while Peter went out to run around. He keeps wanting me to come out and play and there are just so many things that need my attention that even if I do come out I don't have much imagination. I know that this will pass and that before long BOTH Gretchen and I will be playing with him again but getting to that point...
I also feel guilty because some dear friends visited Gretchen on Wednesday and then called to let us know that they did. Apparently Peter checked the voicemail and tried to tell me about it while I was doing something else and I didn't understand. I finally heard the voicemail today after my mother called for an update (they are having computer problems so they can't check this). I'm having trouble keeping track of it all. I don't blame Peter for not telling me, he tried, I just couldn't comprehend at the time so I have inadvertently been rude to my former pastor. Through all of this, God is reminding me what a precious helper I have in Gretchen and how I have neglected to show her my appreciation as often as I should. Brothers and sisters, learn to appreciate who and what you have, express it regularly, and never forget that every day is precious (I am still struggling with that one while I try to manage without my other half).
I had a paragraph here about the difficulties of trying to run the house the way Gretchen would while we wait for her return instead of reworking things the way I think they should be done. I wasn't happy with the way it read so just know that because I believe she is returning fully recovered I am struggling to run this house as HER house the way SHE would run it (and doing a lousy job I might add)!
God has been truly gracious to us. Gretchen seems to be recovering faster than expected. I think I have managed to get all but one bill paid on time (other than the water bill that I will pay in the morning on the way to work). We are fed (thank you everyone!) and clothed in (generally) clean clothes. If I have to deal with a bit of chaos and a lot of disappointments for a few more weeks (even 12 is only a few) who am I to complain (okay, maybe vent a bit until I come to my senses, but not complain). Job was faced with the lose of everything but his life and the life of his wife (and her advice was "curse God and die") but I have lost nothing except a bit of time with my wife and still have the promise that she will be restored. Forgive me for allowing my frustrations to get the better of me.
Gretchen's strength is returning. We still need to pray for that but now we need to emphasize the mental healing. I see it happening because she is sharper but she still loses track of where she is in our history (this morning, before church, she thought we were back teaching at Cono). Also, pray that she doesn't lose heart because of things like not letting her go the bathroom by herself (or even letting me take her).
Pray for Gretchen's friend (nearly family) who is battling cancer. She wanted to come and encourage Gretchen with a visit today but the chemo made her too sick this week. In spite of her chemo I am pretty sure she and her husband were there in the hospital that first night and she was able to make it several times to the hospital. Her faith and perseverance were an inspiration long before Gretchen's stroke.
When Peter and I arrived today Gretchen's sister had taken her outside to get some fresh air. It was great to see her out and about. Peter was disappointed because he wanted to show her around outside but he did get to do some showing around so all is well. Peter has a new destination to take her to next time, if we can figure out how to get there.
Everyone at church was rejoicing with us today. The news has been so good lately. I am wondering if the 10-12 weeks is still the prediction.
Gretchen looks a little tired today but, given the amount she accomplished this week I think she has earned it. The confusion seems a bit less today. There is still confusion but it really is less. She knows where she is and is understanding more.
Dinner time at Siskin so I will post now and update later.
8:45
Well, the old inadequacy is back. As we were leaving Siskin Gretchen was disappointed that we were leaving so soon. When we got home I had to come right in and figure out where I could pay the water bill (they used to have a drop box downtown - when did they take that out?) because it got buried in mail and it is due tomorrow so I came right in while Peter went out to run around. He keeps wanting me to come out and play and there are just so many things that need my attention that even if I do come out I don't have much imagination. I know that this will pass and that before long BOTH Gretchen and I will be playing with him again but getting to that point...
I also feel guilty because some dear friends visited Gretchen on Wednesday and then called to let us know that they did. Apparently Peter checked the voicemail and tried to tell me about it while I was doing something else and I didn't understand. I finally heard the voicemail today after my mother called for an update (they are having computer problems so they can't check this). I'm having trouble keeping track of it all. I don't blame Peter for not telling me, he tried, I just couldn't comprehend at the time so I have inadvertently been rude to my former pastor. Through all of this, God is reminding me what a precious helper I have in Gretchen and how I have neglected to show her my appreciation as often as I should. Brothers and sisters, learn to appreciate who and what you have, express it regularly, and never forget that every day is precious (I am still struggling with that one while I try to manage without my other half).
I had a paragraph here about the difficulties of trying to run the house the way Gretchen would while we wait for her return instead of reworking things the way I think they should be done. I wasn't happy with the way it read so just know that because I believe she is returning fully recovered I am struggling to run this house as HER house the way SHE would run it (and doing a lousy job I might add)!
God has been truly gracious to us. Gretchen seems to be recovering faster than expected. I think I have managed to get all but one bill paid on time (other than the water bill that I will pay in the morning on the way to work). We are fed (thank you everyone!) and clothed in (generally) clean clothes. If I have to deal with a bit of chaos and a lot of disappointments for a few more weeks (even 12 is only a few) who am I to complain (okay, maybe vent a bit until I come to my senses, but not complain). Job was faced with the lose of everything but his life and the life of his wife (and her advice was "curse God and die") but I have lost nothing except a bit of time with my wife and still have the promise that she will be restored. Forgive me for allowing my frustrations to get the better of me.
Gretchen's strength is returning. We still need to pray for that but now we need to emphasize the mental healing. I see it happening because she is sharper but she still loses track of where she is in our history (this morning, before church, she thought we were back teaching at Cono). Also, pray that she doesn't lose heart because of things like not letting her go the bathroom by herself (or even letting me take her).
Pray for Gretchen's friend (nearly family) who is battling cancer. She wanted to come and encourage Gretchen with a visit today but the chemo made her too sick this week. In spite of her chemo I am pretty sure she and her husband were there in the hospital that first night and she was able to make it several times to the hospital. Her faith and perseverance were an inspiration long before Gretchen's stroke.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
September 8, 2012 - Happy Anniversary (final)
Fortunately I have a sister-in-law that remembers these things. I knew when it was I just forgot what day today was.
4:00
I stopped by earlier today to check her schedule and arrived while she was in one of her therapies. I jotted down the therapy schedule and then went to join her. When I arrived she was wheeling her wheelchair around the therapy room. She's a bit weak on the left side (she can use it, it is just easier to use the right) so she was listing to the left (fortunately they were going counter-clockwise). When she finished that they had her take another lap around the room walking. The therapist reminded her how to get up and then we were off to the races. Since I was there she wanted to hold my hand while we walked. The therapist let loose of her hand (he was still holding the belt in case she started to fall) and it really didn't feel like she was leaning on me, more like just trying to have something "solid" for comfort.
I commented on how well she was walking (on Monday she could barely stand with lots of help and on Wednesday she could barely scoot along a bench) and the therapist commented that she had already done a bunch of walking and stair climbing.
After the therapy we went back to her room and talked for a bit. I reminded her that today is our anniversary (22 years). We talked about reality and she was showing signs of confusion but readily acknowledged that she was confused. It was at that point that I decided to use this netbook to bring recent photos of our house, property, and recent events to try to orient her.
I did bring some photos on the netbook and shred them with her this afternoon. There was some confusion about some of them but we explained them to her. I think I brought too many this time but I was hurrying and didn't really track how many I brought. I plan on continuing the pictures, just a few at a time and focusing on one aspect of our lived at a time.
I learned today that Gretchen is starting to try to get out of bed when she is tired of being there. I am glad to hear that. She is getting stronger. What she needs now is for the confusion to subside. I suspect that the confusion will take time and that there will be better days and worse days. Please continue to pray for her mental clarity.
Right now Peter is reading a James Herriot story to Gretchen while she rests in bed. I expect they will be coming to get Gretchen for dinner here soon. I hope that Peter will get to finish the story before dinner.
I will post this now and try to update later.
10:00
Gretchen's parents showed up at dinner time so we let them stay while we got out of the way (Gretchen tries to give her food to Peter if we stay during dinner). They were astounded to see her walk (with a "spotter") from the bathroom to the bed. The Clarks came to visit a bit later and that is always fun so I am sure that helped Gretchen (even if it was just forgetting her plight for a brief period).
There was a minor incident during dinner involving one of the other residents. He grabbed one of the staff and Gretchen's father had to assist until other staff could get there. Gretchen was in no danger but it did get me wondering if, as she continues to improve, she might move to a different ward. If the answer is no that is fine (I trust God for her protection). I am also wondering about getting her outside for some fresh air. Her sister will probably ask about that tomorrow (I hope so).
4:00
I stopped by earlier today to check her schedule and arrived while she was in one of her therapies. I jotted down the therapy schedule and then went to join her. When I arrived she was wheeling her wheelchair around the therapy room. She's a bit weak on the left side (she can use it, it is just easier to use the right) so she was listing to the left (fortunately they were going counter-clockwise). When she finished that they had her take another lap around the room walking. The therapist reminded her how to get up and then we were off to the races. Since I was there she wanted to hold my hand while we walked. The therapist let loose of her hand (he was still holding the belt in case she started to fall) and it really didn't feel like she was leaning on me, more like just trying to have something "solid" for comfort.
I commented on how well she was walking (on Monday she could barely stand with lots of help and on Wednesday she could barely scoot along a bench) and the therapist commented that she had already done a bunch of walking and stair climbing.
After the therapy we went back to her room and talked for a bit. I reminded her that today is our anniversary (22 years). We talked about reality and she was showing signs of confusion but readily acknowledged that she was confused. It was at that point that I decided to use this netbook to bring recent photos of our house, property, and recent events to try to orient her.
I did bring some photos on the netbook and shred them with her this afternoon. There was some confusion about some of them but we explained them to her. I think I brought too many this time but I was hurrying and didn't really track how many I brought. I plan on continuing the pictures, just a few at a time and focusing on one aspect of our lived at a time.
I learned today that Gretchen is starting to try to get out of bed when she is tired of being there. I am glad to hear that. She is getting stronger. What she needs now is for the confusion to subside. I suspect that the confusion will take time and that there will be better days and worse days. Please continue to pray for her mental clarity.
Right now Peter is reading a James Herriot story to Gretchen while she rests in bed. I expect they will be coming to get Gretchen for dinner here soon. I hope that Peter will get to finish the story before dinner.
I will post this now and try to update later.
10:00
Gretchen's parents showed up at dinner time so we let them stay while we got out of the way (Gretchen tries to give her food to Peter if we stay during dinner). They were astounded to see her walk (with a "spotter") from the bathroom to the bed. The Clarks came to visit a bit later and that is always fun so I am sure that helped Gretchen (even if it was just forgetting her plight for a brief period).
There was a minor incident during dinner involving one of the other residents. He grabbed one of the staff and Gretchen's father had to assist until other staff could get there. Gretchen was in no danger but it did get me wondering if, as she continues to improve, she might move to a different ward. If the answer is no that is fine (I trust God for her protection). I am also wondering about getting her outside for some fresh air. Her sister will probably ask about that tomorrow (I hope so).
Friday, September 7, 2012
September 7, 2012 - a lot has happened this week
I'm not going to spend time on that, just thought I would mention it.
This morning Gretchen told me that she was at Siskin. That acknowledgement was hard for her and she almost cried. Mornings seem to be better for her (as far as confusion goes). She can be bright and chipper later in the day when she has family around but if I pay close attention I can tell she is confused and when I ask her if she's confused she admits to it.
When I saw Gretchen after work she was sitting in the wheelchair like she would if she sat down in it on her own. I know that she gets tired of sitting in the chair but moving her involves getting the aide so I hate to move her to the bed for a break only to have them mover her back in 15 - 20 minutes. I know that I could do it (I know it has been 30 years but I still know how to do a transfer, especially after watching them do it) but they don't want me to. I'm hoping she improves enough, quick enough, that she can get out of the chair.
Peter and I came back down after dinner (not something we will do regularly) and she was more confused. Not bad, but she didn't want to think a lot. I got her glasses and let her read one of her cards. She was able to read it but it was difficult. I will continue to offer her things to read to help her (I mentioned Peter's board books early in the day and she liked the idea so I am going to take one to her tomorrow).
People keep reminding me that there will be ups and downs but so far I continue to see improvements every day. I see improvement in the small things (like the way she sits in the chair or how she reaches for a cup - if it seems natural that is a good thing). While I know that downs are a possibility I do not expect that. Instead I look for the small improvements so that I will be able to remind her of some small improvement even though she might not be feeling like she is improving. This battle is as much mental as physical. If she keeps her heart in it she will overcome the discouragement that comes with this. A large part of me wants to spend all the time I can with her so that I can be there when she needs encouragement. I realize that I need to carry on the work she has begun with Peter and this house so I need to trust that God will provide the encouragement she needs if I am not there for her.
I do occasionally see small signs that she realizes what is ahead and wonders if she can do it. When I see that I remind her of how far she has come and some of the other things in her life that she has overcome. So far that helps. As her confusion clears and she realizes the situation she will need prayer to keep her spirits up.
Yesterday, Gretchen's uncle died (her father's last remaining brother). It has been recommended that we not tell her about it (her sister thinks she might already know) but I am thinking that I might tell her. A lot will depend on how clear her mind is when I have the opportunity.
On top of the death of Gretchen's uncle, one of the boy's in Peter's Scout troop lost his father this past week. Peter wants to go to the funeral tomorrow (as a show of support for someone that was encouraging to Peter) but I don't see how we can do it. We will just have to play it by ear. Pray for us with all the things that are coming up ("school" starts next week and we have much to do to prepare).
This morning Gretchen told me that she was at Siskin. That acknowledgement was hard for her and she almost cried. Mornings seem to be better for her (as far as confusion goes). She can be bright and chipper later in the day when she has family around but if I pay close attention I can tell she is confused and when I ask her if she's confused she admits to it.
When I saw Gretchen after work she was sitting in the wheelchair like she would if she sat down in it on her own. I know that she gets tired of sitting in the chair but moving her involves getting the aide so I hate to move her to the bed for a break only to have them mover her back in 15 - 20 minutes. I know that I could do it (I know it has been 30 years but I still know how to do a transfer, especially after watching them do it) but they don't want me to. I'm hoping she improves enough, quick enough, that she can get out of the chair.
Peter and I came back down after dinner (not something we will do regularly) and she was more confused. Not bad, but she didn't want to think a lot. I got her glasses and let her read one of her cards. She was able to read it but it was difficult. I will continue to offer her things to read to help her (I mentioned Peter's board books early in the day and she liked the idea so I am going to take one to her tomorrow).
People keep reminding me that there will be ups and downs but so far I continue to see improvements every day. I see improvement in the small things (like the way she sits in the chair or how she reaches for a cup - if it seems natural that is a good thing). While I know that downs are a possibility I do not expect that. Instead I look for the small improvements so that I will be able to remind her of some small improvement even though she might not be feeling like she is improving. This battle is as much mental as physical. If she keeps her heart in it she will overcome the discouragement that comes with this. A large part of me wants to spend all the time I can with her so that I can be there when she needs encouragement. I realize that I need to carry on the work she has begun with Peter and this house so I need to trust that God will provide the encouragement she needs if I am not there for her.
I do occasionally see small signs that she realizes what is ahead and wonders if she can do it. When I see that I remind her of how far she has come and some of the other things in her life that she has overcome. So far that helps. As her confusion clears and she realizes the situation she will need prayer to keep her spirits up.
Yesterday, Gretchen's uncle died (her father's last remaining brother). It has been recommended that we not tell her about it (her sister thinks she might already know) but I am thinking that I might tell her. A lot will depend on how clear her mind is when I have the opportunity.
On top of the death of Gretchen's uncle, one of the boy's in Peter's Scout troop lost his father this past week. Peter wants to go to the funeral tomorrow (as a show of support for someone that was encouraging to Peter) but I don't see how we can do it. We will just have to play it by ear. Pray for us with all the things that are coming up ("school" starts next week and we have much to do to prepare).
Thursday, September 6, 2012
September 6, 2012 - She is still going to be a mezzo
Gretchen was bright and chipper when I arrived a little after 7:30 this morning ("something is wrong, what have you done with my wife?"). She was greatly relieved when I arrived because she was stuck talking with one of the other ima...I mean, patients in the dining room. I am not sure what they were talking about (they talk softly and I am a product of the '70s so I have some hearing loss) but she said he knew her from somewhere or other (I'm not so sure).
We had a great, though short, conversation. There was some mild confusion but she knew what was going on. She was sitting up and holding her head pretty well. Generally her voice is still a soft soprano voice but at one point she laughed while she was talking and I could hear that rich mezzo voice trying to get through. It is only a matter of time and she will have her voice back.
When Peter and I arrived at 4:00 she was in the dining room waiting for dinner (at 4:30). We had a great time and she was able to remember some things from yesterday. I asked her about her therapy but she didn't have much to say about that. She knows that she needs to do the therapy but I am sure that it is a lot of work and sometimes she doesn't want to do it. I wanted to stay until the start of mealtime so that we could pray together (when I mentioned prayer she agreed readily). Unfortunately, she is still a good mother (to both of us) and can't stand that she has food and we don't. I think we will have to pray and excuse ourselves as the food is coming down the hall.
I have my mom's netbook now (I helped configure it for her but didn't have time to teach her how to use it so my brother gave her one of his old Macs). I am not sure how I am going to change my posts now that I have that. I may write in OpenOffice (yes, free is a whole lot better than Micro$oft Office) and then copy to the blog later or I may write a bunch of smaller posts throughout the day or even start a post early in the day and post it and then edit and add to it as the day progresses (putting the update time in the title and changing it to "final" when I am done for the night).
Pray for my ability to deal with Gretchen's head therapist. I tried to mend things this morning when I saw her but she was still a bit short with me. I am concerned that she might try to get back at me through Gretchen if I can't get this resolved. (I know, a professional wouldn't take something out on a patient BUT a professional working with brain injured patients should be a bit more understanding of mistakes made by families of patients when they are trying to manage all these new responsibilities).
Peter will be starting "school" next Tuesday. Pray for us as we make the adjustments.
We had a great, though short, conversation. There was some mild confusion but she knew what was going on. She was sitting up and holding her head pretty well. Generally her voice is still a soft soprano voice but at one point she laughed while she was talking and I could hear that rich mezzo voice trying to get through. It is only a matter of time and she will have her voice back.
When Peter and I arrived at 4:00 she was in the dining room waiting for dinner (at 4:30). We had a great time and she was able to remember some things from yesterday. I asked her about her therapy but she didn't have much to say about that. She knows that she needs to do the therapy but I am sure that it is a lot of work and sometimes she doesn't want to do it. I wanted to stay until the start of mealtime so that we could pray together (when I mentioned prayer she agreed readily). Unfortunately, she is still a good mother (to both of us) and can't stand that she has food and we don't. I think we will have to pray and excuse ourselves as the food is coming down the hall.
I have my mom's netbook now (I helped configure it for her but didn't have time to teach her how to use it so my brother gave her one of his old Macs). I am not sure how I am going to change my posts now that I have that. I may write in OpenOffice (yes, free is a whole lot better than Micro$oft Office) and then copy to the blog later or I may write a bunch of smaller posts throughout the day or even start a post early in the day and post it and then edit and add to it as the day progresses (putting the update time in the title and changing it to "final" when I am done for the night).
Pray for my ability to deal with Gretchen's head therapist. I tried to mend things this morning when I saw her but she was still a bit short with me. I am concerned that she might try to get back at me through Gretchen if I can't get this resolved. (I know, a professional wouldn't take something out on a patient BUT a professional working with brain injured patients should be a bit more understanding of mistakes made by families of patients when they are trying to manage all these new responsibilities).
Peter will be starting "school" next Tuesday. Pray for us as we make the adjustments.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
September 5, 2012 - and today I was there...
I guess I have to accept that I just can't be there for Gretchen like I want to right now...
Today was difficult for me. Gretchen's head is jutting forward and it looks like her neck is stiff. One of the physical therapists kept telling her that she needs to hold her head up but I can see that she can't and that it hurts. The therapist says that the muscles that hold the head up are not engaging but you can't even force her head up into a natural position so I think there is something wrong and the muscles aren't engaging because it is futile. I don't know...
Having spent the day with Gretchen I realize that it is not an option for me. I don't have the vacation time available to even spend a day a week with her if she is going to be there for 10-12 weeks. On top of that, she still has a bunch of confusion. Gretchen knows who we are but she has things from our past out of sequence and she thinks she is on a cruise ship.
Gretchen's therapy went well in the morning and one of the therapists told me that it was okay for Peter to come so I decided to bring him for the afternoon. There was something that I needed to do for work so we arrived late and they had already started working with Gretchen in the gym. I needed to take care of something for work so we found Gretchen and her therapists and I dropped him off and headed for her room to work. Apparently I didn't catch that he couldn't be left alone in the gym. The therapist told me afterward and I apologized and said I wasn't thinking. She assured me he didn't cause any problems but he needed an adult with him and we parted on good terms. Later the therapist from the morning found me and was not happy with me. She told me in no uncertain terms that it was not to happen again and if I had to leave so did Peter. I did not feel that we parted on good terms. Unfortunately, I think she is the head therapist.
I want to help Gretchen and just be there for her. But I am not doing a decent job of that or of taking care of the house or of doing my job (and we haven't even started schooling). How do single parents do it?
Today was difficult for me. Gretchen's head is jutting forward and it looks like her neck is stiff. One of the physical therapists kept telling her that she needs to hold her head up but I can see that she can't and that it hurts. The therapist says that the muscles that hold the head up are not engaging but you can't even force her head up into a natural position so I think there is something wrong and the muscles aren't engaging because it is futile. I don't know...
Having spent the day with Gretchen I realize that it is not an option for me. I don't have the vacation time available to even spend a day a week with her if she is going to be there for 10-12 weeks. On top of that, she still has a bunch of confusion. Gretchen knows who we are but she has things from our past out of sequence and she thinks she is on a cruise ship.
Gretchen's therapy went well in the morning and one of the therapists told me that it was okay for Peter to come so I decided to bring him for the afternoon. There was something that I needed to do for work so we arrived late and they had already started working with Gretchen in the gym. I needed to take care of something for work so we found Gretchen and her therapists and I dropped him off and headed for her room to work. Apparently I didn't catch that he couldn't be left alone in the gym. The therapist told me afterward and I apologized and said I wasn't thinking. She assured me he didn't cause any problems but he needed an adult with him and we parted on good terms. Later the therapist from the morning found me and was not happy with me. She told me in no uncertain terms that it was not to happen again and if I had to leave so did Peter. I did not feel that we parted on good terms. Unfortunately, I think she is the head therapist.
I want to help Gretchen and just be there for her. But I am not doing a decent job of that or of taking care of the house or of doing my job (and we haven't even started schooling). How do single parents do it?
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
September 4, 2012 - I wish I had been there...
(Bear is sleeping peacefully, again!)
Did you ever have one of those days when so much went right for you and you wound up missing all of it?
I visited Gretchen today on my way in to work. She was awake and talking and quite interactive. She did have two pillows under her head again but I talked to the doctor about that. I only had a few minutes before the first therapist arrived for the day. Since she hadn't seen Gretchen before she just worked with her in the bed. As I was leaving I got to see Gretchen working hard, and doing a good job.
A bit later I called the case manager from the office. I got voice mail and expressed my concerns about the feeding and pillows. About noon I got a call from Siskin (all outgoing calls show a single number so I never know if it is an emergency or routine). They wanted to do a swallow study (barium laced food and an x-ray). While I knew the outcome (well, if I was there helping) but eagerly agreed knowing they would feel better about letting her eat if she passed it.
Waiting for the results was buffered by the workload. I was asked to go up to a developer's desk and uninstall Visual Studio 2010 Professional and install Visual Studio 2010 Premium (most of you don't have a clue what I just said but those that do will get the rest of this). Having never uninstalled or installed Visual Studio I took advantage of the opportunity to see the new training room before heading up. I left myself an hour to uninstall/install with a bit of a buffer. No one told me that it takes 45 minutes to uninstall and another 45 minutes to install.
While I was waiting on the uninstall I called the hospital and found that Gretchen had passed her swallow test and they had started her on some pureed food! I was quite pleased and thankful.
Normally, I leave the office at 3:30 and head for the hospital and then Peter joins me about 4:15-4:30 but since he had Scouts tonight I decided we would visit her on the way to Scouts (she usually sleeps through our afternoon visit and then wakes again between 6:00 and 6:30 so this sounded good). Since I wanted to talk to a couple people I decided to make a quick stop at the hospital before heading home.
Did I mention that I left myself an hour plus a small buffer to do that uninstall/reinstall? Forty-five minutes to uninstall, a few minutes to install a required patch, and forty-five minutes to install...I was late. So much for stopping at the hospital on the way home.
Dinner took longer than expected and we arrived at the hospital right after they got Gretchen back in bed (with two pillows AGAIN! - grrrrr - go back to sleep Bear, I can handle this) and she was sound asleep. Gretchen's sister filled us in: Gretchen had passed her swallow test and had eaten about half her meal (pretty good considering she hadn't had anything in her stomach in a day and a half). She had been up walking (with help) and had sat out by the nurses station for a while to get her out of her room and out of her bed.
Given that Gretchen had 3 and a half hours of therapy today and a swallow test I was surprised that she even woke enough to say goodbye to Peter as we were leaving.
While Peter was sitting with Gretchen I also learned that Gretchen has been trying to stand on her own (they keep a belt on her to prevent that). The nurse even told me that they will probably have to start using the bed alarm. I never thought I would be happy to hear that Gretchen needed a bed alarm to prevent her from getting out of bed. We truly have much to Praise God for! And I do want to thank all of you that have been praying. God could easily heal her without the prayers of the faithful but it is an act of obedience for me to ask for prayer and for you to offer it. (I am not always the most obedient of God's children, but I am trying - ...and God said, "Very!")
Yes, we do have much to be thankful for...but wait, there's more! (why do I feel like Ron Popeil). While Peter and I were eating dinner Siskin called again. This time it was the case manager returning my call. She said that given the nature of Gretchen's injuries (technically, her stroke caused a brain injury) they expect her to be 10 - 12 weeks in recovery. Some may not view that as something praiseworthy but all news about Gretchen's condition is praiseworthy because God has allowed us the means to begin to make some long term plans (plus it means that I might actually have some semblance of order regained on this house).
Rejoice with me tonight because tomorrow Gretchen will probably be worn out and I was planning on spending the day at Siskin with her.
Did you ever have one of those days when so much went right for you and you wound up missing all of it?
I visited Gretchen today on my way in to work. She was awake and talking and quite interactive. She did have two pillows under her head again but I talked to the doctor about that. I only had a few minutes before the first therapist arrived for the day. Since she hadn't seen Gretchen before she just worked with her in the bed. As I was leaving I got to see Gretchen working hard, and doing a good job.
A bit later I called the case manager from the office. I got voice mail and expressed my concerns about the feeding and pillows. About noon I got a call from Siskin (all outgoing calls show a single number so I never know if it is an emergency or routine). They wanted to do a swallow study (barium laced food and an x-ray). While I knew the outcome (well, if I was there helping) but eagerly agreed knowing they would feel better about letting her eat if she passed it.
Waiting for the results was buffered by the workload. I was asked to go up to a developer's desk and uninstall Visual Studio 2010 Professional and install Visual Studio 2010 Premium (most of you don't have a clue what I just said but those that do will get the rest of this). Having never uninstalled or installed Visual Studio I took advantage of the opportunity to see the new training room before heading up. I left myself an hour to uninstall/install with a bit of a buffer. No one told me that it takes 45 minutes to uninstall and another 45 minutes to install.
While I was waiting on the uninstall I called the hospital and found that Gretchen had passed her swallow test and they had started her on some pureed food! I was quite pleased and thankful.
Normally, I leave the office at 3:30 and head for the hospital and then Peter joins me about 4:15-4:30 but since he had Scouts tonight I decided we would visit her on the way to Scouts (she usually sleeps through our afternoon visit and then wakes again between 6:00 and 6:30 so this sounded good). Since I wanted to talk to a couple people I decided to make a quick stop at the hospital before heading home.
Did I mention that I left myself an hour plus a small buffer to do that uninstall/reinstall? Forty-five minutes to uninstall, a few minutes to install a required patch, and forty-five minutes to install...I was late. So much for stopping at the hospital on the way home.
Dinner took longer than expected and we arrived at the hospital right after they got Gretchen back in bed (with two pillows AGAIN! - grrrrr - go back to sleep Bear, I can handle this) and she was sound asleep. Gretchen's sister filled us in: Gretchen had passed her swallow test and had eaten about half her meal (pretty good considering she hadn't had anything in her stomach in a day and a half). She had been up walking (with help) and had sat out by the nurses station for a while to get her out of her room and out of her bed.
Given that Gretchen had 3 and a half hours of therapy today and a swallow test I was surprised that she even woke enough to say goodbye to Peter as we were leaving.
While Peter was sitting with Gretchen I also learned that Gretchen has been trying to stand on her own (they keep a belt on her to prevent that). The nurse even told me that they will probably have to start using the bed alarm. I never thought I would be happy to hear that Gretchen needed a bed alarm to prevent her from getting out of bed. We truly have much to Praise God for! And I do want to thank all of you that have been praying. God could easily heal her without the prayers of the faithful but it is an act of obedience for me to ask for prayer and for you to offer it. (I am not always the most obedient of God's children, but I am trying - ...and God said, "Very!")
Yes, we do have much to be thankful for...but wait, there's more! (why do I feel like Ron Popeil). While Peter and I were eating dinner Siskin called again. This time it was the case manager returning my call. She said that given the nature of Gretchen's injuries (technically, her stroke caused a brain injury) they expect her to be 10 - 12 weeks in recovery. Some may not view that as something praiseworthy but all news about Gretchen's condition is praiseworthy because God has allowed us the means to begin to make some long term plans (plus it means that I might actually have some semblance of order regained on this house).
Rejoice with me tonight because tomorrow Gretchen will probably be worn out and I was planning on spending the day at Siskin with her.
Monday, September 3, 2012
September 3, 2012 - oh my, what a day...
The Bear is sleeping but he keeps stirring...
I got to spend most of the day with Gretchen (from just before 8:00 to almost 5:00). It was both encouraging and discouraging. It was encouraging because I got to talk to her a lot and got to see how she improved over the course of the day. She started with a lot of confusion and it began to clear as she was awake but if she sleeps for very long she starts over. It was discouraging to watch her in therapy today because she could barely stand with assistance. I know that will improve but it was a shock (not a surprise, given she has been bedridden for 3 weeks but a shock).
One of the problems she had trying to walk was that she couldn't pull her head upright. One of the aides put two pillows under her head and her neck stiffened in that position with a vertebral knob sticking out at the base of the neck. I am warning everyone how her neck is sensitive and to watch her head position when they are positioning her. They are still positioning her (left side, right side, back) but I noticed that toward the end of the day she was on her back and moving on her own.
Another positive thing is that Gretchen continues to recognize me, even in the confusion. She may not remember my name but she knows who I am.
I want to spend another day this week with Gretchen. I was hoping it would be Thursday because they do the weekly evaluations and recommendations on Thursday but the staff rotation where I work would leave my building uncovered. Wednesday will probably be the day that I can arrange so that is what it will have to be.
As you continue to pray for Gretchen's strength, endurance, and alertness (the more alertness the less confusion) please pray for wisdom for the doctors and staff. Gretchen pulled out her feeding tube again (a Dobb-Hoff tube, smaller than an NG tube) and the staff is having a hard time putting it in. The staff is pushing for a PEG tube (through the abdominal wall) but the surgery group is not so eager. They feel that if she is going to be able to take nutrition by mouth within a week or two then the PEG tube is a bad option. I did a bit of research tonight and I think the PEG will be a setback because of the recovery time (5 - 7 days). If it will help her to recover faster then I am willing to undergo the risk but I get the impression that it is more for their convenience (and Gretchen could still pull it out, even with the wrap they are talking about). I even suggested that I could take time off to supervise her feeding if it meant we could avoid the PEG tube.
Also, please pray for moderation on my part. As I have written about the PEG tube I can feel Bear waking inside me. I want to be allies with Siskin but if Bear wakes within me I will become the fearsome enemy that you do not cross. Many years ago, God put Bear to sleep within me and most of the time he sleeps. Occasionally he has awakened, caused his havoc, and then quickly fallen asleep again. I cannot control Bear when he awakens, only God can (which is why He put him to sleep within me) so pray that all parties in this discussion will act with wisdom and not self interest.
Just one more thing...if Siskin was ready for her why are they saying that Gretchen needs a PEG tube in order to progress. A couple more days, had I known she needed to be rid of the feeding tube, and I probably could have had her ready (if they would teach me how to help her). Between the pillows and the feeding tube I am not happy right now (go back to sleep Bear...).
I got to spend most of the day with Gretchen (from just before 8:00 to almost 5:00). It was both encouraging and discouraging. It was encouraging because I got to talk to her a lot and got to see how she improved over the course of the day. She started with a lot of confusion and it began to clear as she was awake but if she sleeps for very long she starts over. It was discouraging to watch her in therapy today because she could barely stand with assistance. I know that will improve but it was a shock (not a surprise, given she has been bedridden for 3 weeks but a shock).
One of the problems she had trying to walk was that she couldn't pull her head upright. One of the aides put two pillows under her head and her neck stiffened in that position with a vertebral knob sticking out at the base of the neck. I am warning everyone how her neck is sensitive and to watch her head position when they are positioning her. They are still positioning her (left side, right side, back) but I noticed that toward the end of the day she was on her back and moving on her own.
Another positive thing is that Gretchen continues to recognize me, even in the confusion. She may not remember my name but she knows who I am.
I want to spend another day this week with Gretchen. I was hoping it would be Thursday because they do the weekly evaluations and recommendations on Thursday but the staff rotation where I work would leave my building uncovered. Wednesday will probably be the day that I can arrange so that is what it will have to be.
As you continue to pray for Gretchen's strength, endurance, and alertness (the more alertness the less confusion) please pray for wisdom for the doctors and staff. Gretchen pulled out her feeding tube again (a Dobb-Hoff tube, smaller than an NG tube) and the staff is having a hard time putting it in. The staff is pushing for a PEG tube (through the abdominal wall) but the surgery group is not so eager. They feel that if she is going to be able to take nutrition by mouth within a week or two then the PEG tube is a bad option. I did a bit of research tonight and I think the PEG will be a setback because of the recovery time (5 - 7 days). If it will help her to recover faster then I am willing to undergo the risk but I get the impression that it is more for their convenience (and Gretchen could still pull it out, even with the wrap they are talking about). I even suggested that I could take time off to supervise her feeding if it meant we could avoid the PEG tube.
Also, please pray for moderation on my part. As I have written about the PEG tube I can feel Bear waking inside me. I want to be allies with Siskin but if Bear wakes within me I will become the fearsome enemy that you do not cross. Many years ago, God put Bear to sleep within me and most of the time he sleeps. Occasionally he has awakened, caused his havoc, and then quickly fallen asleep again. I cannot control Bear when he awakens, only God can (which is why He put him to sleep within me) so pray that all parties in this discussion will act with wisdom and not self interest.
Just one more thing...if Siskin was ready for her why are they saying that Gretchen needs a PEG tube in order to progress. A couple more days, had I known she needed to be rid of the feeding tube, and I probably could have had her ready (if they would teach me how to help her). Between the pillows and the feeding tube I am not happy right now (go back to sleep Bear...).
Sunday, September 2, 2012
September 2, 2012 - first day of rest
Copying CDs is about as exciting as watching paint dry (fortunately I have a blog to write).
Apparently they worked Gretchen pretty hard yesterday. When Peter and I were there before church and in the mid-afternoon she was pretty out of it. I found out later that she had done more than just get a shower. Apparently they had her stand up and sit for a while along with some other assessments.
The feeding tube is back in and she has mitts on her hands to keep her from pulling it out (she did get one out with the mitts on but it requires more thought so hopefully she would wake enough to realize what she was doing before she got it out. She was still running a low grade fever so they are looking into what infections she might have. Someone non-medical suggested it might be related to the stuff going on in the brain. Regardless, Peter prepared a cool washcloth for her forehead and she appreciated it. We also took the mitts off her while we were there and I could tell she appreciated it (although it hurt her feelings when Peter stopped her from itching her nose to protect the feeding tube).
The CD player went over well. I only had a couple CD copies ready this afternoon so I took them. One of them had the Vivaldi Gloria on it and she conducted it for a few minutes. I got a report later that she even tried to sing to some of them.
Since I have an aversion to leaving our CDs where they can disappear I have been copying some of the ones that I think she would like. I have to preview some of them that I know she likes but may not be good for her right now (she loved Britten but some of his work can be a bit agitating). I did throw in a bit of "fluff" in the form of Irish Folk Songs and Sea Shanties (both by the Robert Shaw Chorale so they aren't too fluffy). I may even throw in some Patsy Cline since the nurse told me that earlier in the day she asked Gretchen what kind of musing she liked (before I brought in our player) and Gretchen told her "country". The nurse told her she didn't look like a country girl and Gretchen said "yup". I seem to remember that Gretchen's mother used to listen to Kenny Rogers so maybe that's where she gets it (her father will be sooooooo ashamed - and yes you may kid him about it now and Gretchen when she is more coherent).
Pray for Gretchen's alertness, strength, and endurance as she embarks on serious rehab tomorrow. I plan to be there for most of it since I am off. I also want to get down there at least once a week for the entire day so that I can keep tabs on her progress (there goes the rest of my vacation). Pray for Peter to be understanding if he is excluded from these early sessions. He is quite protective of his mother and wants to be part of the recovery. Unfortunately he tends to speak with authority on things he knows little about (I wonder where he got that???) so I want to get established before I subject the therapists to him (when he is there to learn and help he is wonderful but his confidence has grown so he is volunteering things and expressing opinions - which can be good at the right time, which he hasn't learned yet).
Well, I guess I am through copying CDs for now (I can't remember if I took the Vivaldi Gloria or Gloria! which has an excerpt from the Vivaldi Gloria so I can't finish that tonight) so I will wrap this up early tonight.
Apparently they worked Gretchen pretty hard yesterday. When Peter and I were there before church and in the mid-afternoon she was pretty out of it. I found out later that she had done more than just get a shower. Apparently they had her stand up and sit for a while along with some other assessments.
The feeding tube is back in and she has mitts on her hands to keep her from pulling it out (she did get one out with the mitts on but it requires more thought so hopefully she would wake enough to realize what she was doing before she got it out. She was still running a low grade fever so they are looking into what infections she might have. Someone non-medical suggested it might be related to the stuff going on in the brain. Regardless, Peter prepared a cool washcloth for her forehead and she appreciated it. We also took the mitts off her while we were there and I could tell she appreciated it (although it hurt her feelings when Peter stopped her from itching her nose to protect the feeding tube).
The CD player went over well. I only had a couple CD copies ready this afternoon so I took them. One of them had the Vivaldi Gloria on it and she conducted it for a few minutes. I got a report later that she even tried to sing to some of them.
Since I have an aversion to leaving our CDs where they can disappear I have been copying some of the ones that I think she would like. I have to preview some of them that I know she likes but may not be good for her right now (she loved Britten but some of his work can be a bit agitating). I did throw in a bit of "fluff" in the form of Irish Folk Songs and Sea Shanties (both by the Robert Shaw Chorale so they aren't too fluffy). I may even throw in some Patsy Cline since the nurse told me that earlier in the day she asked Gretchen what kind of musing she liked (before I brought in our player) and Gretchen told her "country". The nurse told her she didn't look like a country girl and Gretchen said "yup". I seem to remember that Gretchen's mother used to listen to Kenny Rogers so maybe that's where she gets it (her father will be sooooooo ashamed - and yes you may kid him about it now and Gretchen when she is more coherent).
Pray for Gretchen's alertness, strength, and endurance as she embarks on serious rehab tomorrow. I plan to be there for most of it since I am off. I also want to get down there at least once a week for the entire day so that I can keep tabs on her progress (there goes the rest of my vacation). Pray for Peter to be understanding if he is excluded from these early sessions. He is quite protective of his mother and wants to be part of the recovery. Unfortunately he tends to speak with authority on things he knows little about (I wonder where he got that???) so I want to get established before I subject the therapists to him (when he is there to learn and help he is wonderful but his confidence has grown so he is volunteering things and expressing opinions - which can be good at the right time, which he hasn't learned yet).
Well, I guess I am through copying CDs for now (I can't remember if I took the Vivaldi Gloria or Gloria! which has an excerpt from the Vivaldi Gloria so I can't finish that tonight) so I will wrap this up early tonight.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
September 1, 2012 - A Shower
I think Siskin is going to be good for Gretchen, although she probably won't like it to begin with.
Today was mainly an assessment day. I got to meet two of the therapists who work on other floors when I dropped some clothes off for her (Gretchen is still in a hospital gown for a bit longer). The goal is to get her through as quickly as possible.
The nurse agreed that Gretchen isn't a morning person and that it takes a while to wake up. There is some indication of weakness on the left side but it is hard to tell if it is actual weakness (they couldn't get her to sit up straight). I am waiting a bit longer before I sign on to left side weakness because she was able to apply good force with her left arm but please keep this in prayer.
There were two highlights to Gretchen's day. First she pulled out another feeding tube, realized it later and apologized. When Peter and I stopped by later in the day it was still out because they were having trouble inserting it. They will probably be assessing the feeding tube in coming days but for now the plan is to put it back in (pray for Gretchen's alertness because she seems to be swallowing well).
The other highlight was a shower. Now, Gretchen is really more of a bath person and she really didn't want to get up for that but I could tell that she felt better even though she was asleep.
I am going to wait until sometime next week before I recommend visitors. I want to get a better feel for how she is adapting and what she will be like for visitors. With the limited visiting hours (5:00 pm - 9:00 pm during the week, 3:00 - 9:00 on Saturday and 12:00 - 9:00 on Sunday) and two visitor restriction I would hate for someone to go visit and have her sleep the whole time.
A few folks have asked about sending cards. I am sure she will appreciate them. I don't have the mailing info but I suspect that if it got sent to her in care of Siskin Hospital it would make it. I will try to remember to ask for the address.
Hopefully I can carve out some time to spend most of the day with her a couple times in the coming weeks so that I can see how she is doing. I got the impression that it would be okay (I might even be able to go to therapy with her) so I am going to see if I can arrange it. Cell service is bad in that building (it is non-existent in the elevators and only the tower symbol next to the windows) but I guess it wouldn't hurt to be out of touch.
Today was mainly an assessment day. I got to meet two of the therapists who work on other floors when I dropped some clothes off for her (Gretchen is still in a hospital gown for a bit longer). The goal is to get her through as quickly as possible.
The nurse agreed that Gretchen isn't a morning person and that it takes a while to wake up. There is some indication of weakness on the left side but it is hard to tell if it is actual weakness (they couldn't get her to sit up straight). I am waiting a bit longer before I sign on to left side weakness because she was able to apply good force with her left arm but please keep this in prayer.
There were two highlights to Gretchen's day. First she pulled out another feeding tube, realized it later and apologized. When Peter and I stopped by later in the day it was still out because they were having trouble inserting it. They will probably be assessing the feeding tube in coming days but for now the plan is to put it back in (pray for Gretchen's alertness because she seems to be swallowing well).
The other highlight was a shower. Now, Gretchen is really more of a bath person and she really didn't want to get up for that but I could tell that she felt better even though she was asleep.
I am going to wait until sometime next week before I recommend visitors. I want to get a better feel for how she is adapting and what she will be like for visitors. With the limited visiting hours (5:00 pm - 9:00 pm during the week, 3:00 - 9:00 on Saturday and 12:00 - 9:00 on Sunday) and two visitor restriction I would hate for someone to go visit and have her sleep the whole time.
A few folks have asked about sending cards. I am sure she will appreciate them. I don't have the mailing info but I suspect that if it got sent to her in care of Siskin Hospital it would make it. I will try to remember to ask for the address.
Hopefully I can carve out some time to spend most of the day with her a couple times in the coming weeks so that I can see how she is doing. I got the impression that it would be okay (I might even be able to go to therapy with her) so I am going to see if I can arrange it. Cell service is bad in that building (it is non-existent in the elevators and only the tower symbol next to the windows) but I guess it wouldn't hurt to be out of touch.
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