Let the rehab begin!
No offense to anyone, but I really don't feel like writing tonight. It has been a long week and I need to go to bed (and I started late).
Gretchen was in a chair when I arrived at the hospital at 7:30 this morning. The TV was on (grrrrr...) to one of the morning fluff shows and there was some guy in gym shorts with electrodes all over his body flexing his muscles to play a drum set by remote control...this is news? Oh, wait, its the morning fluff. I turned off the TV, started a CD in my computer (Cecilia Bartoli again), and sat down next to Gretchen. She wasn't very talkative (it was 7:30 AM) so I talked a bit and we listened a bit.
While I was there the doctor came in and we talked about Gretchen and then we talked about music (he was going to be a violinist until he realized he might not be good enough to do more than eek out a living). We talked about her reaction to latex and how it might have caused her fever. He ended by saying that if she stayed in Erlanger he looked forward to discussing music with her.
Not long after I arrived at work I started getting calls about her moving to Siskin and before lunch they told me it would be around 3:00. I got there around 4:00 (same as yesterday) and they were just starting to move her.
Siskin is quiet at 4:00. Erlanger is never quiet. It will be good for Gretchen to have peace for a bit.
Rehab for Gretchen begins tomorrow morning. She will get 3 hours of rehab per day. I hope they wake her with plenty of time to get her brain in gear. Continue to pray for he strength and alertness.
And now to bed!
Friday, August 31, 2012
Thursday, August 30, 2012
August 30, 2012 - out of ICMU
Bet you never thought sitting was hard work!
I had a good visit with Gretchen on the way in to work. Not a lot but a little bit. I answered some email before she woke and then right as I was getting ready to leave she woke up so I stayed a few minutes more.
Once I got to the office I received a call from Siskin asking if I was still interested in having her there. I told the woman that ideally we would like to skip therapy all together but yes, Siskin is our goal. I told her that a case manager (not the one I dealt with at first) indicated that Gretchen might not be accepted by Siskin so I needed to have a backup plan. We talked a bit and she is beginning the paperwork to get Gretchen into Siskin when the time comes. Following that phone call I am wondering if that case manager that asked me to pick an alternate was pushing LifeCare (I asked for recommendations and she listed several LifeCare centers and then, as an afterthought, mentioned St. Barnabas (in such a way that indicated she didn't approve of that choice). Could be a coincidence, just seems odd.
Timing is everything! After work I was stopping by to see Gretchen and had just gotten out of the car when my phone rang. It was Gretchen's sister asking where I was and telling me they were about to move Gretchen out of the Intermediate Care Unit (IMCU). I told her that as soon as I could get to the elevator I would be up (this morning I trudged to the building but now I was making double-time with about 18 pounds of laptop and gear on my back). They were just finishing disconnecting Gretchen so that they could move her when I arrived (she is still hooked to a bunch of stuff and it takes a long time to unhook with the various alarms that go off). They put me to work lugging her charts - what do I look like, a Sherpa...oh, wait, with the pack on I probably did - and it was off to the 7th floor. I really like riding in the "staff only" elevators because in those elevators people exit to let a bed on, even if it isn't their floor.
Along the way I learned that Gretchen had just finished a stint of 3 hours sitting up in a chair. That may not seem like a lot to you desk jockeys out there but if you have been lying in bed for almost three weeks you will be whooped at the end of it. And Gretchen was. She talked to me for a bit and interacted with the new nurses (three of them were working as a team and they did a great job of situating Gretchen). We also discovered that she is probably allergic to latex because she was getting sores around the edges of the pads. I saw the sores and asked about it and they said the ones on her have latex so they ordered some without. I know that I had mentioned the latex allergy at least once but I guess it never made the chart (I even asked about the monitor pads in ICU...). Pray for her continued strengthening so that she is able to get up and do more!
Okay, what is a blog without a controversial post now and then (see, I really should have left this in GoogleDocs). It has been suggested that we follow James 5:14-15 and have the elders anoint Gretchen. This creates a quandary. I suspect our elders are hesitant about anointing for sickness and, if it were to be done, I believe the context indicates it should be the elders in authority over us (the elders of our congregation) so that rules out having someone else do it. Should we violate the authority of our elders for this (I won't stop someone from anointing Gretchen but unless my heart changes I won't ask for it either)? There are only two places in Scripture that I can find that reference anointing for healing, Mark 6:13 (the disciples cast out demons, anointed the sick with oil and healed them) and James 5:14-15 but there are many instances where people were healed without any mention of oil. Besides, James 5:15 clearly indicates that it is the prayer of faith that will save the sick (there is some discussion over whether "save" means heal or save).
So, I am comfortable believing that God will (or will not - I am trying to fully submit to his will in spite of my desires) heal Gretchen, regardless of whether or not she is anointed with oil. Am I right? Am I wrong? Pray for my wisdom (and continued strength).
I had a good visit with Gretchen on the way in to work. Not a lot but a little bit. I answered some email before she woke and then right as I was getting ready to leave she woke up so I stayed a few minutes more.
Once I got to the office I received a call from Siskin asking if I was still interested in having her there. I told the woman that ideally we would like to skip therapy all together but yes, Siskin is our goal. I told her that a case manager (not the one I dealt with at first) indicated that Gretchen might not be accepted by Siskin so I needed to have a backup plan. We talked a bit and she is beginning the paperwork to get Gretchen into Siskin when the time comes. Following that phone call I am wondering if that case manager that asked me to pick an alternate was pushing LifeCare (I asked for recommendations and she listed several LifeCare centers and then, as an afterthought, mentioned St. Barnabas (in such a way that indicated she didn't approve of that choice). Could be a coincidence, just seems odd.
Timing is everything! After work I was stopping by to see Gretchen and had just gotten out of the car when my phone rang. It was Gretchen's sister asking where I was and telling me they were about to move Gretchen out of the Intermediate Care Unit (IMCU). I told her that as soon as I could get to the elevator I would be up (this morning I trudged to the building but now I was making double-time with about 18 pounds of laptop and gear on my back). They were just finishing disconnecting Gretchen so that they could move her when I arrived (she is still hooked to a bunch of stuff and it takes a long time to unhook with the various alarms that go off). They put me to work lugging her charts - what do I look like, a Sherpa...oh, wait, with the pack on I probably did - and it was off to the 7th floor. I really like riding in the "staff only" elevators because in those elevators people exit to let a bed on, even if it isn't their floor.
Along the way I learned that Gretchen had just finished a stint of 3 hours sitting up in a chair. That may not seem like a lot to you desk jockeys out there but if you have been lying in bed for almost three weeks you will be whooped at the end of it. And Gretchen was. She talked to me for a bit and interacted with the new nurses (three of them were working as a team and they did a great job of situating Gretchen). We also discovered that she is probably allergic to latex because she was getting sores around the edges of the pads. I saw the sores and asked about it and they said the ones on her have latex so they ordered some without. I know that I had mentioned the latex allergy at least once but I guess it never made the chart (I even asked about the monitor pads in ICU...). Pray for her continued strengthening so that she is able to get up and do more!
Okay, what is a blog without a controversial post now and then (see, I really should have left this in GoogleDocs). It has been suggested that we follow James 5:14-15 and have the elders anoint Gretchen. This creates a quandary. I suspect our elders are hesitant about anointing for sickness and, if it were to be done, I believe the context indicates it should be the elders in authority over us (the elders of our congregation) so that rules out having someone else do it. Should we violate the authority of our elders for this (I won't stop someone from anointing Gretchen but unless my heart changes I won't ask for it either)? There are only two places in Scripture that I can find that reference anointing for healing, Mark 6:13 (the disciples cast out demons, anointed the sick with oil and healed them) and James 5:14-15 but there are many instances where people were healed without any mention of oil. Besides, James 5:15 clearly indicates that it is the prayer of faith that will save the sick (there is some discussion over whether "save" means heal or save).
So, I am comfortable believing that God will (or will not - I am trying to fully submit to his will in spite of my desires) heal Gretchen, regardless of whether or not she is anointed with oil. Am I right? Am I wrong? Pray for my wisdom (and continued strength).
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
August 29, 2012
I admit that I am not spending as much time as I want in God's Word but that is just one of many things I don't spend enough time doing.
Well, according to her neurosurgeon via the hospitalist there is no reason for Gretchen to stay in intermediate care so as soon as a bed becomes available she will be moved to "the floor". That was the good news for the day.
I had to go in at my normal time today because we needed to move a bunch of PCs downtown and they wanted to do it first thing. I stopped by the hospital around 7:00 and Gretchen was sleeping (was there any question). I noticed by the board that she was running a slight fever so I let her sleep. I kissed her forehead, told her I loved her, sat down in the chair next to the bed (where I could watch her) and prayed with/for her. When I finished I got up, kissed her forehead, and headed for the office. (if it weren't for the prayer reference this could be the makings of a love ballad from the late '60s)
I decided to "take a lunch break" on the way back from town and stop by and see Gretchen (okay, it was 9:30 so I took an early lunch). I am glad that I did. She was awake and conversant. We talked for quite a while. Mostly I told her things and she commented on them (sounding vaguely like some of my smart-alack comments - we've been married a while...). At one point she told me about some pain she was having, sort of head, neck, back. I mentioned it to the nurse and when she came in she asked Gretchen if she was having pain and Gretchen said "not really." Based on some comments that Gretchen has made, that didn't really seem to make sense, I am wondering if there is a world in her mind in which all these people in blue and maroon scrubs are out to get her. When she is fully alert I think that world recedes but when first waking or when in pain it may be harder to tell the two worlds apart.
The hospitalist called me at work to talk about her moving out of IMCU. He expressed concern about her alertness and said she may need a feeding tube long term if she can't stay alert long enough to take enough nourishment. They are going to switch her to a narrower tube for a week or two to see how it goes. If she doesn't improve they may need to surgically implant a feeding tube (Gretchen WON'T like that). He also mentioned that if she isn't alert and strong enough she might need to go to a nursing home before therapy. I am debating when to tell Gretchen about these two "threats" because if she is able she will prevent both things from happening. Pray for her alertness and strength.
Peter seems to be rising to the occasion. He doesn't always get everything done but he always has some surprise. Today he did a bunch of weeding out front and found some baby plants that Gretchen will be glad to hear about.
I, on the other hand, am beginning to get overwhelmed. My only Bible reading of late is at night with Peter. I only spend an hour or two with Gretchen, housework is only the essentials, Peter fends for himself for two meals a day (good thing he and Gretchen were reading The Treasure Seekers and he and I discovered The Rifleman on Hulu, he just sees it as an adventure), and I still haven't worked a full day at the office since Gretchen went into the hospital. I now know why God burned Philippians 4:13 into my brain back on August 12. If he hadn't it would have been harder not to give up.
Well, according to her neurosurgeon via the hospitalist there is no reason for Gretchen to stay in intermediate care so as soon as a bed becomes available she will be moved to "the floor". That was the good news for the day.
I had to go in at my normal time today because we needed to move a bunch of PCs downtown and they wanted to do it first thing. I stopped by the hospital around 7:00 and Gretchen was sleeping (was there any question). I noticed by the board that she was running a slight fever so I let her sleep. I kissed her forehead, told her I loved her, sat down in the chair next to the bed (where I could watch her) and prayed with/for her. When I finished I got up, kissed her forehead, and headed for the office. (if it weren't for the prayer reference this could be the makings of a love ballad from the late '60s)
I decided to "take a lunch break" on the way back from town and stop by and see Gretchen (okay, it was 9:30 so I took an early lunch). I am glad that I did. She was awake and conversant. We talked for quite a while. Mostly I told her things and she commented on them (sounding vaguely like some of my smart-alack comments - we've been married a while...). At one point she told me about some pain she was having, sort of head, neck, back. I mentioned it to the nurse and when she came in she asked Gretchen if she was having pain and Gretchen said "not really." Based on some comments that Gretchen has made, that didn't really seem to make sense, I am wondering if there is a world in her mind in which all these people in blue and maroon scrubs are out to get her. When she is fully alert I think that world recedes but when first waking or when in pain it may be harder to tell the two worlds apart.
The hospitalist called me at work to talk about her moving out of IMCU. He expressed concern about her alertness and said she may need a feeding tube long term if she can't stay alert long enough to take enough nourishment. They are going to switch her to a narrower tube for a week or two to see how it goes. If she doesn't improve they may need to surgically implant a feeding tube (Gretchen WON'T like that). He also mentioned that if she isn't alert and strong enough she might need to go to a nursing home before therapy. I am debating when to tell Gretchen about these two "threats" because if she is able she will prevent both things from happening. Pray for her alertness and strength.
Peter seems to be rising to the occasion. He doesn't always get everything done but he always has some surprise. Today he did a bunch of weeding out front and found some baby plants that Gretchen will be glad to hear about.
I, on the other hand, am beginning to get overwhelmed. My only Bible reading of late is at night with Peter. I only spend an hour or two with Gretchen, housework is only the essentials, Peter fends for himself for two meals a day (good thing he and Gretchen were reading The Treasure Seekers and he and I discovered The Rifleman on Hulu, he just sees it as an adventure), and I still haven't worked a full day at the office since Gretchen went into the hospital. I now know why God burned Philippians 4:13 into my brain back on August 12. If he hadn't it would have been harder not to give up.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
August 28, 2012
It never felt so good to be unknown!
Let me start by saying that I may have bit off more than I could chew this week and past weekend (or maybe Peter has been dawdling while getting around) because I am tired!
I got a call at 6:30 this morning asking permission to do the 4 vessel arteriogram (or angiogram, I've heard both). They wanted to make sure that I understood what was going to happen and I told them this was the second one so I felt pretty good about it. I asked when it was scheduled for and told them I was going to stop by and see her on my way to work. They said I should have time.
I got there later than I had planned and her nurse was getting her ready to go (they were going to do the daily CT scan while she was down there). Gretchen was awake so the nurse pointed at me and asked who this man was that just came in. Gretchen looked at me, looked back at the nurse and said "I have no clue." I was about to panic when she broke into the biggest grin I have seen in a long time! Her voice is still weak and you have to listen closely but she has become quite conversant.
When I got back there in the afternoon the nurse was in there again and asked the same question. Gretchen paused a long time and then broke into a bigger grin than she did in the morning. We all laughed.
They didn't find anything in the scan or arteriogram of Gretchen's brain (just getting her back for this morning). No new fluid in the brain and no sign of aneurism. Now we just wait for the MRI to find out the doctors are clueless, I mean don't know what caused it.
The afternoon visit was very good. I arrived right on time and had a bit of time with Gretchen before her sister brought Peter down. We talked a bit but I was expecting her to be asleep (that's what she always did before) so I was trying to log in on my computer so I could work. We would talk a bit and then it would look like she drifted off before she could answer so I would turn around to do something on my computer and she would answer me. So I would have to come back to the bedside and ask her to repeat herself. I decided I wasn't going to get any work done so I launched plan B. I had stuck a Cecilia Bartoli CD in my laptop before I headed out so I started playing it. For those of you who don't know the history here, Cecilia Bartoli is a famous Mezzo-Soprano. At the time when we were becoming familiar with her Gretchen's hair was in similar ring curls to Cecilia's so we kidded Gretchen that they were really sisters (Gretchen is also a Mezzo). Gretchen couldn't remember Cecilia's name so I told her that it is someone that Gretchen sounded a bit like and looked a bit like, to which Gretchen responded "and did I like that?" (I can't believe it, she's lying in a hospital bed looking for flattery).
Given how tired I am these days, God is providing the encouragement that I need right now. While we were listening, Caro Mio Ben came on. Gretchen's sister started to sing along and then Gretchen joined in as well (weakly, but she did join in). Unfortunately, she got the composer wrong (how many of you knew it was Giordani - how many even knew there was a Giordani?).
Almost forgot, Gretchen sat on the edge of the bed today! When I heard that I told her that before long she'd be walking out of there.
Continue to pray for her recovery but offer up praise for how far she has come in such a short time (well, it feels short when the plans you've made keep getting changed because she keeps improving).
Pray for me tomorrow. I have a busy day at the office (have to be in at my normal time unless something bad happens) and probably won't get to spend much time with her tomorrow.
Pray for the people in ICU (both the patients and the families). It is a hard and lonely place when you don't know if your loved one is going to make it. Many do not have a saving knowledge of Christ and so they lack the comfort and assurance that I had (and I still battled fear - would that I had Peter's faith, it is as absolute as a child's faith but it seems deeper to me - I have no clue what we did, except pray).
Let me start by saying that I may have bit off more than I could chew this week and past weekend (or maybe Peter has been dawdling while getting around) because I am tired!
I got a call at 6:30 this morning asking permission to do the 4 vessel arteriogram (or angiogram, I've heard both). They wanted to make sure that I understood what was going to happen and I told them this was the second one so I felt pretty good about it. I asked when it was scheduled for and told them I was going to stop by and see her on my way to work. They said I should have time.
I got there later than I had planned and her nurse was getting her ready to go (they were going to do the daily CT scan while she was down there). Gretchen was awake so the nurse pointed at me and asked who this man was that just came in. Gretchen looked at me, looked back at the nurse and said "I have no clue." I was about to panic when she broke into the biggest grin I have seen in a long time! Her voice is still weak and you have to listen closely but she has become quite conversant.
When I got back there in the afternoon the nurse was in there again and asked the same question. Gretchen paused a long time and then broke into a bigger grin than she did in the morning. We all laughed.
They didn't find anything in the scan or arteriogram of Gretchen's brain (just getting her back for this morning). No new fluid in the brain and no sign of aneurism. Now we just wait for the MRI to find out the doctors are clueless, I mean don't know what caused it.
The afternoon visit was very good. I arrived right on time and had a bit of time with Gretchen before her sister brought Peter down. We talked a bit but I was expecting her to be asleep (that's what she always did before) so I was trying to log in on my computer so I could work. We would talk a bit and then it would look like she drifted off before she could answer so I would turn around to do something on my computer and she would answer me. So I would have to come back to the bedside and ask her to repeat herself. I decided I wasn't going to get any work done so I launched plan B. I had stuck a Cecilia Bartoli CD in my laptop before I headed out so I started playing it. For those of you who don't know the history here, Cecilia Bartoli is a famous Mezzo-Soprano. At the time when we were becoming familiar with her Gretchen's hair was in similar ring curls to Cecilia's so we kidded Gretchen that they were really sisters (Gretchen is also a Mezzo). Gretchen couldn't remember Cecilia's name so I told her that it is someone that Gretchen sounded a bit like and looked a bit like, to which Gretchen responded "and did I like that?" (I can't believe it, she's lying in a hospital bed looking for flattery).
Given how tired I am these days, God is providing the encouragement that I need right now. While we were listening, Caro Mio Ben came on. Gretchen's sister started to sing along and then Gretchen joined in as well (weakly, but she did join in). Unfortunately, she got the composer wrong (how many of you knew it was Giordani - how many even knew there was a Giordani?).
Almost forgot, Gretchen sat on the edge of the bed today! When I heard that I told her that before long she'd be walking out of there.
Continue to pray for her recovery but offer up praise for how far she has come in such a short time (well, it feels short when the plans you've made keep getting changed because she keeps improving).
Pray for me tomorrow. I have a busy day at the office (have to be in at my normal time unless something bad happens) and probably won't get to spend much time with her tomorrow.
Pray for the people in ICU (both the patients and the families). It is a hard and lonely place when you don't know if your loved one is going to make it. Many do not have a saving knowledge of Christ and so they lack the comfort and assurance that I had (and I still battled fear - would that I had Peter's faith, it is as absolute as a child's faith but it seems deeper to me - I have no clue what we did, except pray).
Monday, August 27, 2012
August 27, 2012
Wow!
I stopped in before work today and got to see her neurosurgeon. Gretchen wasn't very responsive but she was responsive enough that he wasn't concerned. Looks like she will be getting a 4 vessel arteriogram in the next couple days to confirm there isn't an aneurism. He did say that we should let Gretchen know when we arrive and if she wakes up try to interact with her. She did wake a bit for me and tried to talk but couldn't get much out.
I learned why she couldn't speak much when I came back in the afternoon. The speech pathologist arrived while we were there and did some cleaning of Gretchen's mouth. warning, the next two sentences are a bit gross - but not nearly as gross as Peter's description (unless you are a fisherman) There was a lot of dead skin in her mouth but the real problem was some gunk in the back of her mouth. I suspect it was drainage from her nose and don't see how she could breath around that glob let alone speak.
After a good mouth cleaning the speech pathologist took a small amount of water in a spoon and put it in Gretchen's mouth. It was slow, but SHE SWALLOWED!!!! The speech pathologist recommended that we interact with Gretchen as much as possible when she is awake, even if it is just looking at us or squeezing our hands. Every little bit helps. She also recommended encouraging Gretchen to sing, even if it is Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. I guess I need to find all those pieces she loves to sing to and get them to her room.
Gretchen's parents visited her this evening and she was more alert and interactive than she had been in over a week.
All-in-all I think we hit another milestone today and re-hit the interaction milestone. Now the real work begins...
I stopped in before work today and got to see her neurosurgeon. Gretchen wasn't very responsive but she was responsive enough that he wasn't concerned. Looks like she will be getting a 4 vessel arteriogram in the next couple days to confirm there isn't an aneurism. He did say that we should let Gretchen know when we arrive and if she wakes up try to interact with her. She did wake a bit for me and tried to talk but couldn't get much out.
I learned why she couldn't speak much when I came back in the afternoon. The speech pathologist arrived while we were there and did some cleaning of Gretchen's mouth. warning, the next two sentences are a bit gross - but not nearly as gross as Peter's description (unless you are a fisherman) There was a lot of dead skin in her mouth but the real problem was some gunk in the back of her mouth. I suspect it was drainage from her nose and don't see how she could breath around that glob let alone speak.
After a good mouth cleaning the speech pathologist took a small amount of water in a spoon and put it in Gretchen's mouth. It was slow, but SHE SWALLOWED!!!! The speech pathologist recommended that we interact with Gretchen as much as possible when she is awake, even if it is just looking at us or squeezing our hands. Every little bit helps. She also recommended encouraging Gretchen to sing, even if it is Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. I guess I need to find all those pieces she loves to sing to and get them to her room.
Gretchen's parents visited her this evening and she was more alert and interactive than she had been in over a week.
All-in-all I think we hit another milestone today and re-hit the interaction milestone. Now the real work begins...
Sunday, August 26, 2012
August 26, 2012
Rest, sweet rest
The rest that Gretchen has been receiving appears to be helping. She was awake for her sister and a near-family member this afternoon. It wasn't long, about 10 minutes, but it was encouraging. I got there later than I had hoped today and Gretchen didn't want to wake up (I didn't push it).
While I was there they took the central line (an IV that goes into one of the larger veins in the chest area) out. Because it needs to not move around they actually hold it in place with stitches and while one of the stitches were being removed Gretchen reacted to the pain vocally, by starting to reach to stop it, and with tears. Other than that she just rested.
They are stopping the antibiotics to see if she has "antibiotic fever" while they wait for the most recent specimens to be cultured. Please continue to pray about this and her alertness.
Now that we can be with her all the time it is harder for me to divide myself (as my last post shows). Please continue to pray for me in this regard. Also pray for my rest, I am over tired right now and having a hard time. I feel like I need to see the doctor so I am going to try to get to the hospital early and stay as long as I can tomorrow and maybe again on Tuesday. I am still waiting to ask Gretchen about what visitors she wants and how often.
Pray for Peter as he sorts out how to best help and protect his mother. He knows that his mother can be a "mama grizzly" when provoked and he has seen the stirrings of the papa grizzly (yes, we know that analogy breaks down there but just imagine if papa grizzlies did stick around to protect the family) in me when people have challenged my authority in Gretchen's care. It is hard to take the grizzly cub seriously but he does care for her as deeply as she does for him he just needs to learn which battles he needs to fight.
In my various readings I keep being reminded that though we are in this world our citizenship is in the Kingdom of Heaven much in the same way that Peter and I are Washingtonians (I would say Seattlites but that sounds a bit spacey). We love being here in Chattanooga and are content here but we both know (he expressed it to me before I confessed it) that we will never be Chattanoogans. It is times like these when I am drained that I long for the rest that will only come in that Heavenly City. Then I remember what Paul said in Philippians 1:25 (Nevertheless, to remain in the flesh is more needful for you) and I ask Him for the strength to continue. I am continuing in the belief that when I read that verse the first night that I took over reading to Peter before bed God was reassuring me that she would remain with us.
The rest that Gretchen has been receiving appears to be helping. She was awake for her sister and a near-family member this afternoon. It wasn't long, about 10 minutes, but it was encouraging. I got there later than I had hoped today and Gretchen didn't want to wake up (I didn't push it).
While I was there they took the central line (an IV that goes into one of the larger veins in the chest area) out. Because it needs to not move around they actually hold it in place with stitches and while one of the stitches were being removed Gretchen reacted to the pain vocally, by starting to reach to stop it, and with tears. Other than that she just rested.
They are stopping the antibiotics to see if she has "antibiotic fever" while they wait for the most recent specimens to be cultured. Please continue to pray about this and her alertness.
Now that we can be with her all the time it is harder for me to divide myself (as my last post shows). Please continue to pray for me in this regard. Also pray for my rest, I am over tired right now and having a hard time. I feel like I need to see the doctor so I am going to try to get to the hospital early and stay as long as I can tomorrow and maybe again on Tuesday. I am still waiting to ask Gretchen about what visitors she wants and how often.
Pray for Peter as he sorts out how to best help and protect his mother. He knows that his mother can be a "mama grizzly" when provoked and he has seen the stirrings of the papa grizzly (yes, we know that analogy breaks down there but just imagine if papa grizzlies did stick around to protect the family) in me when people have challenged my authority in Gretchen's care. It is hard to take the grizzly cub seriously but he does care for her as deeply as she does for him he just needs to learn which battles he needs to fight.
In my various readings I keep being reminded that though we are in this world our citizenship is in the Kingdom of Heaven much in the same way that Peter and I are Washingtonians (I would say Seattlites but that sounds a bit spacey). We love being here in Chattanooga and are content here but we both know (he expressed it to me before I confessed it) that we will never be Chattanoogans. It is times like these when I am drained that I long for the rest that will only come in that Heavenly City. Then I remember what Paul said in Philippians 1:25 (Nevertheless, to remain in the flesh is more needful for you) and I ask Him for the strength to continue. I am continuing in the belief that when I read that verse the first night that I took over reading to Peter before bed God was reassuring me that she would remain with us.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
August 25, 2012
Do I pawn off my child on everyone else and spend every available minute with the most important person in my life or do I build as normal a life as I can for my son and leave my wife to someone else?
Peter and I visited Gretchen on the way up to do the Brook Trout work (yes, we decided to go even though we didn't get enough sleep). We had good day. There were a bunch of kids (younger than Peter) who were probably helping with the stocking so Peter decided to help survey Sugar Cove Branch. He was confirmed in that decision when I told him that I helped stock Brook Trout in Sugar Cove Branch almost 20 years ago.
Unfortunately, because I was seeing to the needs of my son I missed talking to the doctor about Gretchen. I found out moments ago that Gretchen was unresponsive this morning when they tried to do Physical Therapy. I also found out that her neurosurgeon stopped in and the CT scan showed no change (in a good way) and that he is considering putting a new drain in. That concerns me because the last time he spoke with me he said they may have to put it back in but I got the impression it was if things got worse. On top of everything else, she is still battling a fever and her white count is elevated. Please keep her in prayer!
So, where is the balance point? God has entrusted Gretchen and me with raising Peter to be a Godly man. Gretchen has done most of the work and has done it admirably (anyone care to challenge me on that?). God has let Gretchen be unavailable at this point so it is now up to me. And yet, the love of my life, the other half of me, the one that I hope to spend my remaining years with, lies alone in a hospital bed in need of my comfort and encouragement. Do I abandon my wife or do I abandon our son, the work that she has begun? Please keep me in prayer!
Peter and I visited Gretchen on the way up to do the Brook Trout work (yes, we decided to go even though we didn't get enough sleep). We had good day. There were a bunch of kids (younger than Peter) who were probably helping with the stocking so Peter decided to help survey Sugar Cove Branch. He was confirmed in that decision when I told him that I helped stock Brook Trout in Sugar Cove Branch almost 20 years ago.
Unfortunately, because I was seeing to the needs of my son I missed talking to the doctor about Gretchen. I found out moments ago that Gretchen was unresponsive this morning when they tried to do Physical Therapy. I also found out that her neurosurgeon stopped in and the CT scan showed no change (in a good way) and that he is considering putting a new drain in. That concerns me because the last time he spoke with me he said they may have to put it back in but I got the impression it was if things got worse. On top of everything else, she is still battling a fever and her white count is elevated. Please keep her in prayer!
So, where is the balance point? God has entrusted Gretchen and me with raising Peter to be a Godly man. Gretchen has done most of the work and has done it admirably (anyone care to challenge me on that?). God has let Gretchen be unavailable at this point so it is now up to me. And yet, the love of my life, the other half of me, the one that I hope to spend my remaining years with, lies alone in a hospital bed in need of my comfort and encouragement. Do I abandon my wife or do I abandon our son, the work that she has begun? Please keep me in prayer!
Friday, August 24, 2012
August 24, 2012 - OUT OF ICU!
When I really began to experience ICU camaraderie Gretchen moved on.
This will have to be quick because my mother-in-law gave her blessing on Peter and I doing Brook Trout Restoration work tomorrow so we have a lot to do (pray that nothing happens to Gretchen while we are gone or to us while we are up there).
As of 6:00 pm, Gretchen is out of ICU. She has moved to the intermediate care unit. She can have someone with her 24 hours a day. During the day she can have 2 visitors and at night she can have 1 overnight.
Peter and I were visiting in her new room and I noticed that she looked uncomfortable and was scrunching her eyes closed. I asked what was wrong but couldn't understand so I asked if we were making too much noise. As soon as we got it sorted out the nurse came and then the patient care technician came in and then her parents came in...oops, way too much noise. The nurse and I stepped away to talk while Peter sucked a big nasty gooey thing out of her mouth. Gretchen's nurse wants to hire Peter!
Pray that rest will help Gretchen (that is something she will be able to get more of now). I am hoping that family members who come and visit over the next few days will bring something to quietly occupy themselves instead of trying to get her to talk.
There is an echo-cardiogram scheduled for the weekend and then an arteriogram for next week. I also know that there is another MRI that will be done in about 6 weeks when much of the blood has been absorbed from the brain.
When Gretchen is feeling a bit more communicative I will ask her about other visitors (certain "practically family" would be welcome right now, I am sure - I have told you that when she was in ICU and it goes double now - contact Gretchen's parents or sister to find out where if you would like to go up Saturday). Once she has had some rest and is feeling better I am sure she will welcome visitors (if her vanity doesn't get in the way).
I wanted to talk about some of the people we met through ICU, especially a family from 3 hours away who was traveling through Chattanooga when the wife had an aneurism followed by respiratory problems. The had been staying in a hotel but had just rented a house so they could be close and now they need to let her go. Pray for them, the Ward family. There are so many others to pray for but they are the ones who are hurting the most that I have encountered. I do not know if they are believers or not but one of them did say that they would continue to pray for Gretchen. I hurt for them because there have been times in the last two weeks where I have wondered if I would have to make that decision.
This will have to be quick because my mother-in-law gave her blessing on Peter and I doing Brook Trout Restoration work tomorrow so we have a lot to do (pray that nothing happens to Gretchen while we are gone or to us while we are up there).
As of 6:00 pm, Gretchen is out of ICU. She has moved to the intermediate care unit. She can have someone with her 24 hours a day. During the day she can have 2 visitors and at night she can have 1 overnight.
Peter and I were visiting in her new room and I noticed that she looked uncomfortable and was scrunching her eyes closed. I asked what was wrong but couldn't understand so I asked if we were making too much noise. As soon as we got it sorted out the nurse came and then the patient care technician came in and then her parents came in...oops, way too much noise. The nurse and I stepped away to talk while Peter sucked a big nasty gooey thing out of her mouth. Gretchen's nurse wants to hire Peter!
Pray that rest will help Gretchen (that is something she will be able to get more of now). I am hoping that family members who come and visit over the next few days will bring something to quietly occupy themselves instead of trying to get her to talk.
There is an echo-cardiogram scheduled for the weekend and then an arteriogram for next week. I also know that there is another MRI that will be done in about 6 weeks when much of the blood has been absorbed from the brain.
When Gretchen is feeling a bit more communicative I will ask her about other visitors (certain "practically family" would be welcome right now, I am sure - I have told you that when she was in ICU and it goes double now - contact Gretchen's parents or sister to find out where if you would like to go up Saturday). Once she has had some rest and is feeling better I am sure she will welcome visitors (if her vanity doesn't get in the way).
I wanted to talk about some of the people we met through ICU, especially a family from 3 hours away who was traveling through Chattanooga when the wife had an aneurism followed by respiratory problems. The had been staying in a hotel but had just rented a house so they could be close and now they need to let her go. Pray for them, the Ward family. There are so many others to pray for but they are the ones who are hurting the most that I have encountered. I do not know if they are believers or not but one of them did say that they would continue to pray for Gretchen. I hurt for them because there have been times in the last two weeks where I have wondered if I would have to make that decision.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
August 23, 2012 - 4:00 visit
Encouragement comes from the strangest places.
Today is one of those days when Gretchen just doesn't want to be disturbed. She was sleeping during both my visits today and the nurse said she didn't want to answer questions (talk) during several of the neural checks. Both the doctors and nurses feel it is not that she can't do what they ask but that she won't. She does say "ouch" when they do a sternum rub (pressure on the upper end of the breast bone, used on patients to wake them or prisoners to torture them - it hurts!) and they can sometimes talk her into some of the extremity movements (though sometimes she makes them wait until the next time they are in). They pretty much agree that she is probably tired of it and this is her way of dealing with it.
Fever was down below 100 this morning and just above it this afternoon. Somewhat better, just got to wait on the antibiotic to do its magic. The drain site has stopped leaking but they left the pressure bandage on, not sure why its still on but I don't find it a concern. They did an MRI of her head last night and didn't find anything (I've said that after previous MRIs so I instinctively ducked as I typed) which is what we expected. They are continuing to do CT Scans checking the hydrocephalus and hopefully they will be satisfied soon enough and move Gretchen out of ICU so she can get some sleep so she can start recovering.
Peter has been adapting to our new routine. I have been leaving notes of things to do - some that need doing, some that are just suggestions - and he told me tonight that he has plenty to do so I just need to tell him what needs to be done. He gets his own breakfast and lunch, does some work around here, and then takes the dog and heads for his grandparents' house. When I see him at 4:00 he is positively beaming. His mother would be proud and sad at the same time (proud of the way he rises to the occasion, sad that her little boy is growing up so fast).
Work has been good for me. I feel energized after a half day at work (probably because I am back in a realm where I have some clue what I am doing) and ready to take on the house when I get home.
I am truly thankful for all of the encouragement we have received through this. I have met many new brothers and sisters in the Lord and have discovered several acquaintances that are fellow believers. I can safely say that, no matter what happens with this situation, I will continue to rejoice and praise God because of all that I have experienced.
Today is one of those days when Gretchen just doesn't want to be disturbed. She was sleeping during both my visits today and the nurse said she didn't want to answer questions (talk) during several of the neural checks. Both the doctors and nurses feel it is not that she can't do what they ask but that she won't. She does say "ouch" when they do a sternum rub (pressure on the upper end of the breast bone, used on patients to wake them or prisoners to torture them - it hurts!) and they can sometimes talk her into some of the extremity movements (though sometimes she makes them wait until the next time they are in). They pretty much agree that she is probably tired of it and this is her way of dealing with it.
Fever was down below 100 this morning and just above it this afternoon. Somewhat better, just got to wait on the antibiotic to do its magic. The drain site has stopped leaking but they left the pressure bandage on, not sure why its still on but I don't find it a concern. They did an MRI of her head last night and didn't find anything (I've said that after previous MRIs so I instinctively ducked as I typed) which is what we expected. They are continuing to do CT Scans checking the hydrocephalus and hopefully they will be satisfied soon enough and move Gretchen out of ICU so she can get some sleep so she can start recovering.
Peter has been adapting to our new routine. I have been leaving notes of things to do - some that need doing, some that are just suggestions - and he told me tonight that he has plenty to do so I just need to tell him what needs to be done. He gets his own breakfast and lunch, does some work around here, and then takes the dog and heads for his grandparents' house. When I see him at 4:00 he is positively beaming. His mother would be proud and sad at the same time (proud of the way he rises to the occasion, sad that her little boy is growing up so fast).
Work has been good for me. I feel energized after a half day at work (probably because I am back in a realm where I have some clue what I am doing) and ready to take on the house when I get home.
I am truly thankful for all of the encouragement we have received through this. I have met many new brothers and sisters in the Lord and have discovered several acquaintances that are fellow believers. I can safely say that, no matter what happens with this situation, I will continue to rejoice and praise God because of all that I have experienced.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
August 22, 2012 - 4:00 visit
Just time for a short post tonight (well, not really but I will anyway).
Gretchen was out of it for the most part at the 4:00 visit but there was a crowd so she may have been playing opossum. We had a crowd because I went back to work for half a day today. That meant Peter didn't go with me to the 10:00 visit and his grandparents brought him down for the 4:00 visit (they usually only come for 8:30) and we had a couple of other family members as well.
She is still battling a fever. They are treating the UTI and I don't think they had the results of the blood cultures, yet. If they come back negative they will probably take new specimens to culture so they can figure out why the temp is elevated. There was also some leakage where the drain had been (don't know if it was straight blood or if it was from inside the skull). The doctor put a couple more stitches in and the nurses put a pressure bandage on it. They are going to watch it and the CT scans to make sure we are okay.
The case manager asked me if we were considering therapy and if so, where. I told her we were and (playing dumb to get her reaction) said I had heard good things about Siskin. Apparently she wanted me to pick Siskin, both by the reaction on her face and the fact that she never asked if that was what I wanted to go with. I didn't tell her that one friend had told me that if we didn't pick Siskin he would have some serious words with me. Apparently that means she has reached the point where they want to get a baseline so that they can measure her progress.
I removed a paragraph here. It talked about Gretchen being awake yesterday at 10:00. It mentioned something that Gretchen would be horrified to find out that I mentioned (even though I wasn't specific). If you read it please forget it. We can rejoice that she was awake for most of the 20 minutes I was there.
Being back at work today was good but I barely got my email cleared and took care of a couple minor things. It is amazing how many people in my underground bunker haven't heard the details, just the rumors. I don't mind telling people (I actually enjoy talking about what God has done through this) but somebody is paying for me to tell this over and over. (To offset the cost of my repeated explanations could everyone reading this in the TVA area please leave an extra light on 24x7 for the next year to cover my pay)
Well, I have gone on for too long (this is short???). Goodnight and thank you for the prayers and encouragement.
Gretchen was out of it for the most part at the 4:00 visit but there was a crowd so she may have been playing opossum. We had a crowd because I went back to work for half a day today. That meant Peter didn't go with me to the 10:00 visit and his grandparents brought him down for the 4:00 visit (they usually only come for 8:30) and we had a couple of other family members as well.
She is still battling a fever. They are treating the UTI and I don't think they had the results of the blood cultures, yet. If they come back negative they will probably take new specimens to culture so they can figure out why the temp is elevated. There was also some leakage where the drain had been (don't know if it was straight blood or if it was from inside the skull). The doctor put a couple more stitches in and the nurses put a pressure bandage on it. They are going to watch it and the CT scans to make sure we are okay.
The case manager asked me if we were considering therapy and if so, where. I told her we were and (playing dumb to get her reaction) said I had heard good things about Siskin. Apparently she wanted me to pick Siskin, both by the reaction on her face and the fact that she never asked if that was what I wanted to go with. I didn't tell her that one friend had told me that if we didn't pick Siskin he would have some serious words with me. Apparently that means she has reached the point where they want to get a baseline so that they can measure her progress.
I removed a paragraph here. It talked about Gretchen being awake yesterday at 10:00. It mentioned something that Gretchen would be horrified to find out that I mentioned (even though I wasn't specific). If you read it please forget it. We can rejoice that she was awake for most of the 20 minutes I was there.
Being back at work today was good but I barely got my email cleared and took care of a couple minor things. It is amazing how many people in my underground bunker haven't heard the details, just the rumors. I don't mind telling people (I actually enjoy talking about what God has done through this) but somebody is paying for me to tell this over and over. (To offset the cost of my repeated explanations could everyone reading this in the TVA area please leave an extra light on 24x7 for the next year to cover my pay)
Well, I have gone on for too long (this is short???). Goodnight and thank you for the prayers and encouragement.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Just one more thing...
(I always feel like Columbo closing in on the killer when I say that)
I just realized that I have quoted from Philippians a couple times now. It is interesting how that happened. When all this happened, two Sundays ago, the only verse that came to mind was Philippians 4:13 (I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me). And it stayed with me.
Gretchen and Peter have a tradition of reading at night and part of the reading they do is a chapter (more or less) from the Bible. It was now my turn to pick up the mantle (I do it when we camp, etc. but this was taking over for a while) and I decided to start with Philippians, chapter 1. Paul is writing to the church at Philippi from prison, probably in Rome and possibly facing execution. In about verse 19 Paul starts talking about the pros and cons of his possible death ("to live is Christ, and to die is gain") and says he can't choose between the two. Finally, in verses 24 and 25 he says "Nevertheless to remain in the flesh is more needful for you. And being confident of this, I know that I shall remain and continue with you all for your progress and joy of faith." And when I read that (I didn't tell Peter at the time) I strongly felt that I was being told that Gretchen would live because Peter and I both need her for our "progress and joy of faith."
There were many things that Paul wrote to the church at Philippi that ministered to us in this time of need. There were so many good things for us that we decided to read it a second time. Now we are done twice so I will see what new words there are for us tonight.
By the way, at Peter's suggestion we also read Psalm 6 a couple nights ago and it was also helpful.
I just realized that I have quoted from Philippians a couple times now. It is interesting how that happened. When all this happened, two Sundays ago, the only verse that came to mind was Philippians 4:13 (I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me). And it stayed with me.
Gretchen and Peter have a tradition of reading at night and part of the reading they do is a chapter (more or less) from the Bible. It was now my turn to pick up the mantle (I do it when we camp, etc. but this was taking over for a while) and I decided to start with Philippians, chapter 1. Paul is writing to the church at Philippi from prison, probably in Rome and possibly facing execution. In about verse 19 Paul starts talking about the pros and cons of his possible death ("to live is Christ, and to die is gain") and says he can't choose between the two. Finally, in verses 24 and 25 he says "Nevertheless to remain in the flesh is more needful for you. And being confident of this, I know that I shall remain and continue with you all for your progress and joy of faith." And when I read that (I didn't tell Peter at the time) I strongly felt that I was being told that Gretchen would live because Peter and I both need her for our "progress and joy of faith."
There were many things that Paul wrote to the church at Philippi that ministered to us in this time of need. There were so many good things for us that we decided to read it a second time. Now we are done twice so I will see what new words there are for us tonight.
By the way, at Peter's suggestion we also read Psalm 6 a couple nights ago and it was also helpful.
August 21, 2012 - 4:00 visit
THE DRAIN IS OUT!
Yes, that is truly cause for rejoicing! The doctor felt that, although it was still draining slightly, it was time to take the drain out. I am so glad, one less source of infection. They suspect that the elevated temperature is due to a UTI so they are treating in that direction while they wait for final results. Once that is under control and no problems have resulted from the drain removal they will probably move her out of ICU (I think)
They have scheduled an MRI for tomorrow (not sure when). I don't know if this is related to the benign tumor in her brain (probably had it since before birth) or to identify the source of the bleed or both. I eagerly await the results of that, regardless (I am going to lug her historic MRIs around for a couple days, just in case).
Tonight is Scouts night (Peter received his Second Class badge, along with several merit badges, all thanks to Gretchen's help) so I started this while dinner was heating but didn't get back to it until after the report from her parents. I had all sorts of things I was going to talk about but now they are gone, oh well.
The evening report was good (forgot to ask about fever). She wasn't as up as last night but she was in and out and when her father told her about a visit from some family friends the first time she seemed asleep. Her father mentioned it again a bit later when she seemed more alert and she told him that he had already told her about that. I guess we need to watch what we say around her because she seems to be always listening.
If I didn't know Gretchen well enough I would think she was not speaking to me. For the last few days either she hasn't been awake when I was around or she woke up briefly and spoke to Peter while I was away talking to the nurse. I wish I could speak with her but as long as others are I am content that my time will come.
Continue to pray for Gretchen, she is not out of the woods. If she needs to be in ICU I want her to stay there but from what I can see she could use a bit of uninterrupted sleep. Pray for my patience and that I won't lose heart as I try to develop plans.
Pray for Peter and me both as I am going to try to start back to work tomorrow (Wednesday). That means I will do the 10:00 visit without Peter, go to work for half a day, and got the the 4:00 visit. Peter will get up whenever he wakes up (given his recent short nights I hope it will be after I leave), get around, and go over to his grandparents. He is capable of handling all of his morning on his own but this will be the first time he has done it with no one else in the house. Pray for an extra dose of courage for him (he has been saying it would be no problem but saying and doing...).
One more thing to pray about. I need wisdom. This Saturday the Trout Unlimited group that I am involved in is doing their annual Brook Trout monitoring day up on some of the streams around Tellico. Last year Peter helped with the removal of Rainbow Trout from a stream up there and this year they are going to stock it with Southern Appalachian Brook Trout (raised in a facility TU helped with). I don't know if we should do it. It will be an all-day thing so we probably wouldn't visit her at all on Saturday. Much, of course, will depend on her condition but I don't want to neglect her needs for our fun (although it is educational and counts as service work for Scouts) or neglect Peter's needs to go sit in a hospital room and read a book (assuming she isn't in ICU).
Philippians 4:4 - Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say , rejoice!
Yes, that is truly cause for rejoicing! The doctor felt that, although it was still draining slightly, it was time to take the drain out. I am so glad, one less source of infection. They suspect that the elevated temperature is due to a UTI so they are treating in that direction while they wait for final results. Once that is under control and no problems have resulted from the drain removal they will probably move her out of ICU (I think)
They have scheduled an MRI for tomorrow (not sure when). I don't know if this is related to the benign tumor in her brain (probably had it since before birth) or to identify the source of the bleed or both. I eagerly await the results of that, regardless (I am going to lug her historic MRIs around for a couple days, just in case).
Tonight is Scouts night (Peter received his Second Class badge, along with several merit badges, all thanks to Gretchen's help) so I started this while dinner was heating but didn't get back to it until after the report from her parents. I had all sorts of things I was going to talk about but now they are gone, oh well.
The evening report was good (forgot to ask about fever). She wasn't as up as last night but she was in and out and when her father told her about a visit from some family friends the first time she seemed asleep. Her father mentioned it again a bit later when she seemed more alert and she told him that he had already told her about that. I guess we need to watch what we say around her because she seems to be always listening.
If I didn't know Gretchen well enough I would think she was not speaking to me. For the last few days either she hasn't been awake when I was around or she woke up briefly and spoke to Peter while I was away talking to the nurse. I wish I could speak with her but as long as others are I am content that my time will come.
Continue to pray for Gretchen, she is not out of the woods. If she needs to be in ICU I want her to stay there but from what I can see she could use a bit of uninterrupted sleep. Pray for my patience and that I won't lose heart as I try to develop plans.
Pray for Peter and me both as I am going to try to start back to work tomorrow (Wednesday). That means I will do the 10:00 visit without Peter, go to work for half a day, and got the the 4:00 visit. Peter will get up whenever he wakes up (given his recent short nights I hope it will be after I leave), get around, and go over to his grandparents. He is capable of handling all of his morning on his own but this will be the first time he has done it with no one else in the house. Pray for an extra dose of courage for him (he has been saying it would be no problem but saying and doing...).
One more thing to pray about. I need wisdom. This Saturday the Trout Unlimited group that I am involved in is doing their annual Brook Trout monitoring day up on some of the streams around Tellico. Last year Peter helped with the removal of Rainbow Trout from a stream up there and this year they are going to stock it with Southern Appalachian Brook Trout (raised in a facility TU helped with). I don't know if we should do it. It will be an all-day thing so we probably wouldn't visit her at all on Saturday. Much, of course, will depend on her condition but I don't want to neglect her needs for our fun (although it is educational and counts as service work for Scouts) or neglect Peter's needs to go sit in a hospital room and read a book (assuming she isn't in ICU).
Philippians 4:4 - Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say , rejoice!
August 21, 2012 - update from last night
Philippians 4:6-7 Be
anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with
thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Please forgive me for my lack of Faith in my last post, I forgot this important passage.
Gretchen's parents called last night right before we went to bed so I couldn't update. Gretchen was much more alert last night and even carried on some conversation. It would appear that my fears last night were the result of weariness and missing being able to discuss things with my other half. Gretchen frequently makes up for my shortcomings - I only hope that I have been (and will be) as good an influence on her as she has been on me.
I am hoping to talk to either a doctor or case worker (I think that is what they called her, I don't think she gave me a card when she talked to me last Wednesday - an eternity ago). I need info from them to give to Southwest Airlines so that I can get a refund for Gretchen's flight, and hopefully Peter's and mine since I would have to use the tickets before some time in June. I would also like to get an idea of the best-case scenario for Gretchen's recovery (I already know the two possible worst-case scenarios). That will help me to prepare and figure out how to get back to work. I'm not expecting the recovery to go exactly as they tell me but I would like some ballpark estimates so that I can gauge how she is doing (after a milestone a day last week I have high expectations).
Please forgive me for my lack of Faith in my last post, I forgot this important passage.
Gretchen's parents called last night right before we went to bed so I couldn't update. Gretchen was much more alert last night and even carried on some conversation. It would appear that my fears last night were the result of weariness and missing being able to discuss things with my other half. Gretchen frequently makes up for my shortcomings - I only hope that I have been (and will be) as good an influence on her as she has been on me.
I am hoping to talk to either a doctor or case worker (I think that is what they called her, I don't think she gave me a card when she talked to me last Wednesday - an eternity ago). I need info from them to give to Southwest Airlines so that I can get a refund for Gretchen's flight, and hopefully Peter's and mine since I would have to use the tickets before some time in June. I would also like to get an idea of the best-case scenario for Gretchen's recovery (I already know the two possible worst-case scenarios). That will help me to prepare and figure out how to get back to work. I'm not expecting the recovery to go exactly as they tell me but I would like some ballpark estimates so that I can gauge how she is doing (after a milestone a day last week I have high expectations).
Monday, August 20, 2012
August 20, 2012 - 4:00 visit
The only thing we have to fear...is the unknown.
Now is probably not the best time to post because I am feeling very down.
After I high point last week I have been seeing a gradual decline in Gretchen. It isn't much, she's just a little harder to wake each day and her voice is a bit weaker. It's almost imperceptible and I keep telling myself that she really needs a good sleep (they wake her every one to two hours to do neural checks). Today was more of the same (although Peter says he talked with her while I was talking to the nurse) and on top of that she has developed a fever. Just a small fever, a bit over 101, but a fever. They took the necessary specimens, gave her some tylenol, and started her on a broad-spectrum antibiotic. It will be 24 hours before preliminary results are in and another couple days before they have definitive results but they will be adjusting the antibiotic to get maximum results as results come in.
I can't write more now, perhaps I will get a good report from her parents after the 8:30 visit. Please continue to pray for Gretchen and please pray for me for strength and courage and that my faith will be as strong as Peter's appears to be.
Now is probably not the best time to post because I am feeling very down.
After I high point last week I have been seeing a gradual decline in Gretchen. It isn't much, she's just a little harder to wake each day and her voice is a bit weaker. It's almost imperceptible and I keep telling myself that she really needs a good sleep (they wake her every one to two hours to do neural checks). Today was more of the same (although Peter says he talked with her while I was talking to the nurse) and on top of that she has developed a fever. Just a small fever, a bit over 101, but a fever. They took the necessary specimens, gave her some tylenol, and started her on a broad-spectrum antibiotic. It will be 24 hours before preliminary results are in and another couple days before they have definitive results but they will be adjusting the antibiotic to get maximum results as results come in.
I can't write more now, perhaps I will get a good report from her parents after the 8:30 visit. Please continue to pray for Gretchen and please pray for me for strength and courage and that my faith will be as strong as Peter's appears to be.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
August 19, 2012 - 4:00 visit
Patience!
I got to speak to the nurse about what is going on, trying to figure out why the drain is still in. Apparently her neurosurgeon didn't write an order to take the drain out so it is left up to the other doctors in his group that are covering for him over the weekend. That means that, since they don't want to step on one another's toes, Gretchen would have to show marked progress in her exams before they would remove the drain. Her neurosurgeon should be back on tomorrow so hopefully she will get the drain out.
I got more of the story of her stubbornness when I was there. Apparently she wanted a drink of water - which is not allowed until she passes a swallow test - in order to do the test. A moist mouth swab didn't help so she dug her heals in. Finally she said she would cooperate if they paid her $10. Another nurse said she'd pay $15 if she cooperated so Gretchen cooperated. As far as I know Gretchen never asked for payment. I am guessing she is bored and that gave her something to do while she was awake. Later, when the PA from the neurology group came by she was perfectly cooperative.
Apparently, it will take a couple weeks before the remaining blood in her brain begins to break down and it can take several months before it all gets cleared out. Until then drowsiness will be common.
Gretchen didn't wake very well this morning at 10:00 but she did talk to us a bit. I think they would have let us stay longer but I wanted to get to church. It was a good service, all around, and the hymns were very helpful for us.
The 4:00 visit started late (4:28) and Gretchen slept through it. I did talk to the nurse and when she gave Gretchen her bath she opted to leave the mits off. She is still restrained but at least she doesn't feel like Gretchen-paddlehands. The nurse did say that she let Gretchen sleep for longer following the bath and when she came in to do the next neural check Gretchen was wide awake and cooperative. Maybe she will recommend bribing Gretchen with sleep (I know I'm going to remember that trick).
The help from our friends (and friends of friends) is really making itself felt to us. We are truly thankful for all of it. Between that, the worship service this morning, a better understanding of why she still has the drain (though I still wish that if they are leaving it in that they would open it back up), and God's Grace acting in my life I am feeling better about things. Laughing with Gretchen's sister about the $10 demand helped as well.
Continue to pray for Gretchen's patience and strength (and cooperation). Please pray for Peter and I as I try to figure out how to transition back to working (much to work out there, especially since he isn't a morning person yet).
I got to speak to the nurse about what is going on, trying to figure out why the drain is still in. Apparently her neurosurgeon didn't write an order to take the drain out so it is left up to the other doctors in his group that are covering for him over the weekend. That means that, since they don't want to step on one another's toes, Gretchen would have to show marked progress in her exams before they would remove the drain. Her neurosurgeon should be back on tomorrow so hopefully she will get the drain out.
I got more of the story of her stubbornness when I was there. Apparently she wanted a drink of water - which is not allowed until she passes a swallow test - in order to do the test. A moist mouth swab didn't help so she dug her heals in. Finally she said she would cooperate if they paid her $10. Another nurse said she'd pay $15 if she cooperated so Gretchen cooperated. As far as I know Gretchen never asked for payment. I am guessing she is bored and that gave her something to do while she was awake. Later, when the PA from the neurology group came by she was perfectly cooperative.
Apparently, it will take a couple weeks before the remaining blood in her brain begins to break down and it can take several months before it all gets cleared out. Until then drowsiness will be common.
Gretchen didn't wake very well this morning at 10:00 but she did talk to us a bit. I think they would have let us stay longer but I wanted to get to church. It was a good service, all around, and the hymns were very helpful for us.
The 4:00 visit started late (4:28) and Gretchen slept through it. I did talk to the nurse and when she gave Gretchen her bath she opted to leave the mits off. She is still restrained but at least she doesn't feel like Gretchen-paddlehands. The nurse did say that she let Gretchen sleep for longer following the bath and when she came in to do the next neural check Gretchen was wide awake and cooperative. Maybe she will recommend bribing Gretchen with sleep (I know I'm going to remember that trick).
The help from our friends (and friends of friends) is really making itself felt to us. We are truly thankful for all of it. Between that, the worship service this morning, a better understanding of why she still has the drain (though I still wish that if they are leaving it in that they would open it back up), and God's Grace acting in my life I am feeling better about things. Laughing with Gretchen's sister about the $10 demand helped as well.
Continue to pray for Gretchen's patience and strength (and cooperation). Please pray for Peter and I as I try to figure out how to transition back to working (much to work out there, especially since he isn't a morning person yet).
August 19, 2012 - morning checkin update
Since we want to try to make it to see Gretchen and then make it to church I wanted to call and make sure it looked like she would be available at 10:00. It looks like she will.
Gretchen is going to keep the drain at least another day. This morning during the first day shift neural check she flat refused to cooperate. Not cooperating is the same as not being able to because they can't mark it as okay. Eventually she said "I'll do it if you give me $10." While it is funny and we see it as typical Gretchen they see it as a possible area of concern. In the end she did cooperate but it was too late. Please pray for her attitude as she recovers.
Please pray for me as well, right now I am mad at her for being so stubborn. I am also mad at the doctors because they refuse to see anything except their narrow window of acceptable responses (you must respond this way at this hour no matter how tired you are of doing it and regardless of whether or not you would do anything at that hour). Those who have known me a long time know that God severely stiffened the trigger on a very violent temper so that my temper all but went away. This situation is pulling hard on the trigger and I need to maintain my reason in order to be a good advocate for Gretchen.
Gretchen is going to keep the drain at least another day. This morning during the first day shift neural check she flat refused to cooperate. Not cooperating is the same as not being able to because they can't mark it as okay. Eventually she said "I'll do it if you give me $10." While it is funny and we see it as typical Gretchen they see it as a possible area of concern. In the end she did cooperate but it was too late. Please pray for her attitude as she recovers.
Please pray for me as well, right now I am mad at her for being so stubborn. I am also mad at the doctors because they refuse to see anything except their narrow window of acceptable responses (you must respond this way at this hour no matter how tired you are of doing it and regardless of whether or not you would do anything at that hour). Those who have known me a long time know that God severely stiffened the trigger on a very violent temper so that my temper all but went away. This situation is pulling hard on the trigger and I need to maintain my reason in order to be a good advocate for Gretchen.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
August 18, 2012 - 4:00 visit
There is no easy way to learn humility!
Gretchen was a bit more alert at the 4:00 visit. Unfortunately, since she was in and out of consciousness, that got me into trouble. Since we were going to be with her I asked if we could release her hands. I told her what we were doing and told her not to pull out the tube in her nose. She drifted off for a couple of minutes and then woke after a few minutes. Her nose was itchy (the nurse agrees it is partly the bandage holding the tube in place) so she reached up and scratched. I don't know if she caught the tape on her finger or if she noticed the tube while scratching but next thing I knew her hand was coming down and the tube was coming with it. I acted fast and stopped her hand before the tube came out and sent Peter to get the nurse. Fortunately, the nurse just had to replace the bandage.
I don't know if the CT scan today was better or not (I suspect that it wasn't much better but I know it wasn't worse). The blood remaining in her brain is probably what is causing her to drift in and out and preventing her from being fully alert. It is that lack of alertness that kept the neurosurgeon from removing her drain today and is probably what is preventing them from letter her take food by mouth (they were supposed to do a swallow test one morning recently, probably yesterday, but she was too groggy).
Generally the nurses have been good. The nurse today (first time with Gretchen) has been quite sociable and open with what is going on. She did comment this afternoon that she has noticed how much better Gretchen does later in the day (I keep telling people that for whatever reason Gretchen has never liked to wake up, as long as I have known her - and stories of her dad carrying her to breakfast because she was too sleepy to walk only lead me to believe that this is a lifelong thing). Now if she will just tell that to the new neurosurgeon.
Have I grown proud in recent years? I feel like God is humbling me through all of this. Two young men came over today and mowed my lawn. It was one of the hardest things I have faced so far. Don't get me wrong, I deeply appreciated it but I now understand what my dad must have felt when he realized he needed someone else to mow his lawn (but I will be able to mow mine again someday). And people have begun to bring us food. It helps, and we deeply appreciate it, but I feel so undeserving.
Peter has been refreshed by his recent outings. His most recent trip took him up on North Chickamauga Creek around the Cumberland trail and he came back wet and happy. I wish that I had gone but there were obligations around here. I am hoping that Gretchen will soon be well enough that she can give her blessing to Peter and I helping out with the brook trout monitoring up in the Tellico area. We've done it a couple times and were going to do it again this year until it fell the same day as our flight to Washington. With Washington cancelled I am hoping that Gretchen will be well enough that I can get away for one day (Peter and I are both replenished by being in streams). Peter is willing to skip it but seeing how refreshed he was today made me long for a similar escape.
Continue to pray for Gretchen's alertness. Her brain needs to reabsorb the excess fluid so that it can resume proper functioning. Peter has demonstrated the most patience and faith of us all but I see signs that this is getting old for him. The diversions have been VERY helpful (thank you, again!) but pray that he will be given an extra dose of courage and faith as we begin to deal with the slow progress (if that is what God sees fit to send). Pray for encouragement for me (between being humbled by not being able to be superman and do it all and being humbled by the recent generosity I am feeling quite worm-like).
Gretchen was a bit more alert at the 4:00 visit. Unfortunately, since she was in and out of consciousness, that got me into trouble. Since we were going to be with her I asked if we could release her hands. I told her what we were doing and told her not to pull out the tube in her nose. She drifted off for a couple of minutes and then woke after a few minutes. Her nose was itchy (the nurse agrees it is partly the bandage holding the tube in place) so she reached up and scratched. I don't know if she caught the tape on her finger or if she noticed the tube while scratching but next thing I knew her hand was coming down and the tube was coming with it. I acted fast and stopped her hand before the tube came out and sent Peter to get the nurse. Fortunately, the nurse just had to replace the bandage.
I don't know if the CT scan today was better or not (I suspect that it wasn't much better but I know it wasn't worse). The blood remaining in her brain is probably what is causing her to drift in and out and preventing her from being fully alert. It is that lack of alertness that kept the neurosurgeon from removing her drain today and is probably what is preventing them from letter her take food by mouth (they were supposed to do a swallow test one morning recently, probably yesterday, but she was too groggy).
Generally the nurses have been good. The nurse today (first time with Gretchen) has been quite sociable and open with what is going on. She did comment this afternoon that she has noticed how much better Gretchen does later in the day (I keep telling people that for whatever reason Gretchen has never liked to wake up, as long as I have known her - and stories of her dad carrying her to breakfast because she was too sleepy to walk only lead me to believe that this is a lifelong thing). Now if she will just tell that to the new neurosurgeon.
Have I grown proud in recent years? I feel like God is humbling me through all of this. Two young men came over today and mowed my lawn. It was one of the hardest things I have faced so far. Don't get me wrong, I deeply appreciated it but I now understand what my dad must have felt when he realized he needed someone else to mow his lawn (but I will be able to mow mine again someday). And people have begun to bring us food. It helps, and we deeply appreciate it, but I feel so undeserving.
Peter has been refreshed by his recent outings. His most recent trip took him up on North Chickamauga Creek around the Cumberland trail and he came back wet and happy. I wish that I had gone but there were obligations around here. I am hoping that Gretchen will soon be well enough that she can give her blessing to Peter and I helping out with the brook trout monitoring up in the Tellico area. We've done it a couple times and were going to do it again this year until it fell the same day as our flight to Washington. With Washington cancelled I am hoping that Gretchen will be well enough that I can get away for one day (Peter and I are both replenished by being in streams). Peter is willing to skip it but seeing how refreshed he was today made me long for a similar escape.
Continue to pray for Gretchen's alertness. Her brain needs to reabsorb the excess fluid so that it can resume proper functioning. Peter has demonstrated the most patience and faith of us all but I see signs that this is getting old for him. The diversions have been VERY helpful (thank you, again!) but pray that he will be given an extra dose of courage and faith as we begin to deal with the slow progress (if that is what God sees fit to send). Pray for encouragement for me (between being humbled by not being able to be superman and do it all and being humbled by the recent generosity I am feeling quite worm-like).
August 18, 2012 - 10:00 visit
We are disappointed that the drain will not be removed today. It's not that there was a change for the worse (unless the change of neurosurgeon is for the worse) but Gretchen wasn't responsive enough when the next neurosurgeon in rotation came in. Those of you that have spent time around Gretchen know that she isn't a morning person so it is not surprising that he had a hard time waking her when he came around at 0-dark:30. She was responsive during our 10:00 visit, almost to the point that I thought this was the 4:00 visit.
So, we have another day of 10:00, 4:00, and 8:30 visits. That means it will be tight getting to church but we will try.
So, we have another day of 10:00, 4:00, and 8:30 visits. That means it will be tight getting to church but we will try.
Friday, August 17, 2012
August 17, 2012 - 4:00 visit (quick update)
There is a lot that I want to say but I need to get outside with Peter.
First, to all those who have given words of encouragement or provided some small help: Thank you!
I had hoped that the drain would be out by now. I spoke with the neurosurgeon this morning and he indicated that it would probably come out today but maybe tomorrow. Her CT scan was still good so there wasn't really any reason to leave it in. I also spoke with the hospitalist (not entirely sure what that is but she's a nice doctor and easy to work with) and she indicated that once the drain was out Gretchen would probably be moving to her own room. I had hoped for the milestone of getting the drain out but one more night in ICU would probably be good for Gretchen.
Gretchen continues to go in and out of consciousness. I asked the nurse if that is from medication or if it is typical for her condition. It is typical. On the upside, now that she has had some nutrition via the feeding tube she is sounding much stronger (well...relatively speaking). Up until last night (Thursday) Gretchen had taken no nutrients, only electrolytes. The marked improvement between 4:00 yesterday (before any feeding) and today is incredible. I am praying that the increased strength will allow her to swallow better so she won't need a feeding tube long term. She did pull her feeding tube out again. She was awake when they put it back in. She didn't like it but she helped by swallowing at the right time and even told the nurse she wouldn't hold it against her.
Before I go outside I want to remind people of a couple things. First, acknowledge the situation of those who are hurting, even if it is just to say you are praying for the hurting person. I don't care what the experts say, you are not going to "establish a new normal" right away. Hurting people don't need "normal" they need to know people care and they don't like to ask for help! Second, asking "how can I help" is good but in some cases hurting people don't know what they need - surprise them. We have been surprised with meals or parts of meals and it is such a relief. I have food and can prepare it but I now understand that a small amount of time required to prepare a meal takes away from the other things that need to be dealt with. Also, offers to occupy Peter are greatly appreciated. These things truly show me God's Love through you. (okay, I started out to write this entire paragraph NOT referring to my specific situation because I don't need help in the sense that we will be clothed and fed but I am truly thankful to those who have helped out and I need to see God's Love through you which is shown when you do ANYTHING (even asking how I am doing because you really want to know) for me.
Spent to long, no time for proofing, please forgive errors.
First, to all those who have given words of encouragement or provided some small help: Thank you!
I had hoped that the drain would be out by now. I spoke with the neurosurgeon this morning and he indicated that it would probably come out today but maybe tomorrow. Her CT scan was still good so there wasn't really any reason to leave it in. I also spoke with the hospitalist (not entirely sure what that is but she's a nice doctor and easy to work with) and she indicated that once the drain was out Gretchen would probably be moving to her own room. I had hoped for the milestone of getting the drain out but one more night in ICU would probably be good for Gretchen.
Gretchen continues to go in and out of consciousness. I asked the nurse if that is from medication or if it is typical for her condition. It is typical. On the upside, now that she has had some nutrition via the feeding tube she is sounding much stronger (well...relatively speaking). Up until last night (Thursday) Gretchen had taken no nutrients, only electrolytes. The marked improvement between 4:00 yesterday (before any feeding) and today is incredible. I am praying that the increased strength will allow her to swallow better so she won't need a feeding tube long term. She did pull her feeding tube out again. She was awake when they put it back in. She didn't like it but she helped by swallowing at the right time and even told the nurse she wouldn't hold it against her.
Before I go outside I want to remind people of a couple things. First, acknowledge the situation of those who are hurting, even if it is just to say you are praying for the hurting person. I don't care what the experts say, you are not going to "establish a new normal" right away. Hurting people don't need "normal" they need to know people care and they don't like to ask for help! Second, asking "how can I help" is good but in some cases hurting people don't know what they need - surprise them. We have been surprised with meals or parts of meals and it is such a relief. I have food and can prepare it but I now understand that a small amount of time required to prepare a meal takes away from the other things that need to be dealt with. Also, offers to occupy Peter are greatly appreciated. These things truly show me God's Love through you. (okay, I started out to write this entire paragraph NOT referring to my specific situation because I don't need help in the sense that we will be clothed and fed but I am truly thankful to those who have helped out and I need to see God's Love through you which is shown when you do ANYTHING (even asking how I am doing because you really want to know) for me.
Spent to long, no time for proofing, please forgive errors.
Special Prayer Request: Washington State Trip
Please pray for me today as I go about cancelling our reservations for our trip to visit my family out in Washington State. We were scheduled to fly out on the 25th and I just don't see that happening at this point (I know God is capable but I took the timing to be a strong message). This is a hard trip for me to cancel. Two of the things that were planned were, quite probably, the last opportunity to do them.
Please pray for my family out in Washington as well. My parents are both having memory issues to some degree (so am I for that matter) and my father's health is deteriorating to the point where he is no longer able to maintain their 1/3 acre yard. On this trip we were hoping to go to Idaho on a fishing trip to fish the rivers my dad fished when he was a kid. Given his health this would be the last time that we could do it. We were also hoping to get to the Museum of Flight with my dad while his memory was good enough to provide additional history (he worked for Boeing in the late '50s, '60s, and early '70s).
Also pray for my brothers as they are assisting my parents in moving to a smaller home, possibly something with progressive care available. As the oldest I should be leading this effort but from 2500 miles away it has fallen mainly to Mike and his family.
The closer we get to the 25th the harder it is on me. I am sure it also bothers Peter but when I mentioned the possibility of cancelling our trip there was no hesitation on his part. His faith and sense of duty are remarkable in one so young. I am sure that he has learned his sense of duty from both of his parents and it is my conflicted sense of duty that is providing me with the most regret at cancelling our trip. (Believe me, duty to Gretchen trumps the duty to my parents and the duty to Peter's future memories of my parents.)
this is a rush update and has not been proofed for errors, please forgive me...
Please pray for my family out in Washington as well. My parents are both having memory issues to some degree (so am I for that matter) and my father's health is deteriorating to the point where he is no longer able to maintain their 1/3 acre yard. On this trip we were hoping to go to Idaho on a fishing trip to fish the rivers my dad fished when he was a kid. Given his health this would be the last time that we could do it. We were also hoping to get to the Museum of Flight with my dad while his memory was good enough to provide additional history (he worked for Boeing in the late '50s, '60s, and early '70s).
Also pray for my brothers as they are assisting my parents in moving to a smaller home, possibly something with progressive care available. As the oldest I should be leading this effort but from 2500 miles away it has fallen mainly to Mike and his family.
The closer we get to the 25th the harder it is on me. I am sure it also bothers Peter but when I mentioned the possibility of cancelling our trip there was no hesitation on his part. His faith and sense of duty are remarkable in one so young. I am sure that he has learned his sense of duty from both of his parents and it is my conflicted sense of duty that is providing me with the most regret at cancelling our trip. (Believe me, duty to Gretchen trumps the duty to my parents and the duty to Peter's future memories of my parents.)
this is a rush update and has not been proofed for errors, please forgive me...
Thursday, August 16, 2012
August 16, 2012 - 4:00 visit
While some would say that my euphoria is wearing off I would argue that I just don't have the energy for loud Praise.
Gretchen is continuing to improve, one milestone per day. Her daily CT scan looked good enough that they decided to clamp the drain from her skull. They will observe her for 24 hours and do another CT scan. If everything continues to look good they may decide to leave it clamped or to remove it entirely. We are praying for removal because she desperately wants to scratch her head and that isn't allowed.
She was also able to remember her name, where she was, and what year it was so her confusion is lessening. She is still in and out of consciousness several times while we are there but she is more alert when she wakes.
A couple areas of concern (and one of them is positive). First off, she isn't swallowing real well, yet. She starts to swallow a bit and then coughs. Since this is a consistent thing they want to do a swallow scan tomorrow to make sure things aren't going into her lungs when she tries to swallow. In the meantime they put in an NG tube (feeding tube through the nose) so that they could get something into her stomach. Apparently, the nurses didn't check her wrist restraints after we left and she pulled the feeding tube out. (They had to reposition her while we were there and I asked them to leave the restraints loose so she could be more comfortable for a little while. I promised I would keep an eye on her so she didn't pull anything she wasn't supposed to. Before we left I retied the restraints and told them they should probably check them since I hadn't used that type of restraint in almost 30 years). While pulling her feeding tube out isn't good it does show that her coordination and determination are improving. Pray that Gretchen will be able to swallow so that she can start eating on her own and pray that she will be patient with all the tubes and things that are in her.
Peter is holding up quite well through all of this. And bit by bit help is coming in for him. The main thing he needs is someone to run around with. God has granted him and extra measure of patience and reliability during all of this but he does need opportunities to get away, usually in the afternoons.
I am slowly getting a handle on all of the magic that Gretchen has been performing around her all these years. I cooked up a bunch of chicken that I bought (for my lunches but it will work for dinner) so we have meat that can just be heated in short order. I know that Peter will tire of that so I am going to have to start thinking about some other meats as well. Vegetables are quick and easy so I think we can manage the "dinners in a hurry" for a while. We have had some assistance with a meal or two and that is always greatly appreciated.
God's mercy and grace continue to be showered on us and I continue to praise Him, it just tends to be quiet and internal these days. I am continuing to find that I CAN do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me!
(It just occurred to me that I am asking for two milestones tomorrow - the drain and the swallow test)
--just heard from Gretchen's parents following the 8:30 visit. they felt she was continuing to improve over last night.
Gretchen is continuing to improve, one milestone per day. Her daily CT scan looked good enough that they decided to clamp the drain from her skull. They will observe her for 24 hours and do another CT scan. If everything continues to look good they may decide to leave it clamped or to remove it entirely. We are praying for removal because she desperately wants to scratch her head and that isn't allowed.
She was also able to remember her name, where she was, and what year it was so her confusion is lessening. She is still in and out of consciousness several times while we are there but she is more alert when she wakes.
A couple areas of concern (and one of them is positive). First off, she isn't swallowing real well, yet. She starts to swallow a bit and then coughs. Since this is a consistent thing they want to do a swallow scan tomorrow to make sure things aren't going into her lungs when she tries to swallow. In the meantime they put in an NG tube (feeding tube through the nose) so that they could get something into her stomach. Apparently, the nurses didn't check her wrist restraints after we left and she pulled the feeding tube out. (They had to reposition her while we were there and I asked them to leave the restraints loose so she could be more comfortable for a little while. I promised I would keep an eye on her so she didn't pull anything she wasn't supposed to. Before we left I retied the restraints and told them they should probably check them since I hadn't used that type of restraint in almost 30 years). While pulling her feeding tube out isn't good it does show that her coordination and determination are improving. Pray that Gretchen will be able to swallow so that she can start eating on her own and pray that she will be patient with all the tubes and things that are in her.
Peter is holding up quite well through all of this. And bit by bit help is coming in for him. The main thing he needs is someone to run around with. God has granted him and extra measure of patience and reliability during all of this but he does need opportunities to get away, usually in the afternoons.
I am slowly getting a handle on all of the magic that Gretchen has been performing around her all these years. I cooked up a bunch of chicken that I bought (for my lunches but it will work for dinner) so we have meat that can just be heated in short order. I know that Peter will tire of that so I am going to have to start thinking about some other meats as well. Vegetables are quick and easy so I think we can manage the "dinners in a hurry" for a while. We have had some assistance with a meal or two and that is always greatly appreciated.
God's mercy and grace continue to be showered on us and I continue to praise Him, it just tends to be quiet and internal these days. I am continuing to find that I CAN do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me!
(It just occurred to me that I am asking for two milestones tomorrow - the drain and the swallow test)
--just heard from Gretchen's parents following the 8:30 visit. they felt she was continuing to improve over last night.
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Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me!
For those of you who don’t know what happened please allow me to recap for you:
Gretchen was a little draggy Sunday morning, August 12, but she decided to come to church anyway. I headed out early to go to Sunday School and she and Peter followed later. They seemed to be on time when I left but they arrived moments before Church started. The hymns were the majestic kind that truly allow her to praise God with her singing and she was in beautiful voice. I think that the second hymn was “Lift High The Cross” and it was especially wonderful to praise God through signing it.
Shortly after the hymn concluded Gretchen was complaining that it felt like her head would explode. I asked if she wanted me to take her home and she said she would just go sit in the office until it passed. Just before the end of the service one of the men in the church came in and told me that she was very sick. She was throwing up and still complaining about her head. Since she is known to have migraines I assumed this was related so we got her into the van and headed home. At some point she passed out but didn’t really look like she passed out (in the rearview mirror) so we continued home. When we got home it became increasingly clear that we needed to call 911 and get her to the ER. The First Responders arrived in two minutes, followed by the pros from the Tennessee side a minute or two later. By the time they were organized and ready the ambulance arrived (3 - 4 minutes later????).
Apparently she stopped breathing in the ambulance and they inserted an airway. When I finally got to see her it wasn’t good. A CT scan showed significant blood inside the brain. When the neurosurgeon arrived he wanted to insert a drain immediately and since the OR wasn’t available he explained it to me, dismissed me, and did it right in her room. By the time I was allowed back in Peter had arrived so I brought him back with me (good thing he is so tall because children need to be 14 to get in and it is only 2012). She responded to us with hand squeezes. Since she was so bad they couldn’t do an angiogram on her so they did a CT with dye and did not find an aneurism.
The night was rough. They would have let me stay but I knew I needed sleep so I came home and got 2 hours of sleep before I headed back in. By the time I got there shift change had started so I couldn’t get in to see her but the nurse told me that she seemed to be holding her own. Because of a weird quirk of timing, Kris (Gretchen’s sister) was able to get in to see her before work and had an encouraging report. Just before the 10:00 visiting time they called me up to go to radiology and sign papers so they could do an angiogram. The angiogram also showed no sign of aneurism so we still don’t know what the cause of the “leak” is.
I got to spend some time with her following the angiogram. She wasn’t responsive but I am not surprised given the description of what they did. After my visit with her I came home and sent the following email:
August 13, 2012 - 4:00 pm visit
God’s Grace is truly amazing! In less than 18 hours Gretchen has gone from “circling the drain” (the doctor’s words, not mine - I would have come up with something more distinctive) to discussing music history. Okay, that’s an exaggeration (more later). Gretchen is responsive and moving all extremities. She is trying to get the breathing tube out and she is answering yes/no questions. The nurse turned some classical music on for her and Eine Kleine Nachtmusik was playing so Peter asked if it was Mozart and she nodded yes (okay, that was an easy one but she’s had a rough couple of days).
We are by no means out of the woods but the progress is incredible. While we were there Peter was analyzing the respirator trying to figure it out and the nurse obliged. As she was explaining it to him she noticed (or he pointed out, I was only half listening...until that point) that the respirator was set to 14 breaths per minute and Gretchen was now breathing at 18 breaths per minute. That is a sign that they might start weaning her off the respirator. Since she was still fighting to get her hands free to remove the respirator I reminded her that she needs to leave it in for now but if she wants it out she needs to show them that she knows how to breath (so she bumped it up to 19 bpm briefly).
The biggest issue for me right now (other than a lack of sleep) is waiting on what God is revealing (and not reading more into what we see). This morning the doctor told me this is going to be a long recovery, possibly weeks in ICU and more weeks in a regular room before we even think of rehab. Now she is acting like she is ready to get back to her life. This morning I was trying to figure out how I was going to manage my job and everything that she does and now I am wondering if she is going to be mad because I canceled the trip to see my family on the 25th.
One other minor thing that has demonstrated God’s Grace. We have a lot of plants in pots this year (her hiscuses, some roses, and all my tomatoes and peppers, among other things) and the watering was always something that Gretchen had taken care of. I don’t mind doing it but I am still trying to work out how to fit everything in. I knew I wouldn’t have time and rain was not in the forecast so I prayed that it hadn’t been so hot that they couldn’t go two days without water (I haven’t been out much). Right as we were leaving to head down to see Gretchen it started to rain and we got over an inch in a little over an hour. God is Merciful!
August 14, 2012 - 12:45 (special entry)
I just got a call from a patient advocate at the hospital asking for some information and in the course of conversation she told me that GRETCHEN IS OFF THE RESPIRATOR!
August 14, 2012 - 4:00 visit
When God starts answering prayer be careful what you pray for!
Wonderful visit (well, except when she threw up all over the place...but even that had a good side)! Gretchen is indeed off the respirator and breathing on her own. She was able to converse with us though it was usually just answering questions but she did tell us about itches and ask us for assistance (her hands are restrained so she can’t reach the drain). Little things like a bit of leftover adhesive are quite annoying to her so that is a good sign. She isn’t very loud when she speaks but it just means that I have to pay attention so I know when she has something to say. That’s why she wound up throwing up all over everything, we didn’t hear her (probably a good thing we didn’t put our ears down close...ewwww).
Her blood pressure was high when we were there. I asked the nurse about it and she wasn’t concerned because when she doesn’t have visitors it drops right down. The high BP is because she is fighting for consciousness and alertness. A close family friend (someone very dear to all of us, but especially Gretchen) stopped by and when she greeted Gretchen and touched her hand Gretchen’s BP dropped by 10 points.
While we were visiting I noticed that the drain didn’t seem to be working. I pointed it out to the nurse and she said she had noticed it slowing down so maybe it was clotting. She said she would ask the doctor about it on his rounds. He called me later and we discussed it. He said he fiddled with it and it started working again (this thing sounds like my old VW bug) and they were going to monitor it because he didn’t want to have to put a new one in. He left open the option of removing it if she was doing well but he seems to avoid anything too positive before it happens (at the 10:00 visit they said the respirator might come out as early as tomorrow and then they took it out before 4:00).
Since I am updating this at a late hour I will add that Gretchen’s parents reported that at the 8:30 visit they even had her off the oxygen for a while (the nose thing makes her nose itch).
Gretchen made sure to kiss me when I was ready to leave so I take that as a good thing (but I’m selfish that way).
Yesterday morning, while getting my breakfast, things were pretty bleak. I didn’t know if Gretchen was going to live and if she did what condition would she be in. In desperation I cried out (quite literally) to the Lord pleading that she had suffered enough in her life and that I didn’t want to lose her so please give her a speedy recovery but if the option to keep her meant adding to her suffering to please take her quickly. After meeting with the doctor I began to hunker down and prepare for the long haul, expecting her to be unconscious for a few days at the very least, accepting God’s answer even if I didn’t like it. Next thing I know recovery is happening so fast that I just get used to one change and a new one is happening. I don’t know if God was waiting for my unconditional acceptance of his will but I know that my unconditional acceptance has made it so much easier to see His hand, rejoice exceedingly at the improvements, and still be prepared for a plateau or even some backsliding. I have even begun to joke that may have prayed in haste for a speedy recovery because at the rate she is going she’ll be home before I get the laundry folded!
I guess I should close for the night with thanks that God is good and that Gretchen is (as her uncle Jim used to say) one tough cookie (thanks again to God!).
August 15, 2012 - 8:05 (special entry)
Mornings are rough around the house. We haven’t really gotten to bed at a good time the last few nights so getting up in time to get things done and make 10:00 visiting is tough. Gretchen is doing well so it is important that we establish a routine as quickly as possible. Please continue to pray for Gretchen’s healing but add prayers for help for Peter and me establishing our routine (I am going to stop using the term “new normal” because I know that Gretchen doesn’t like catch phrases like that).
August 15, 2012 - 4:00 visit
The morning visits can verge on depressing, especially if there was a better report from the family for the 8:30 visit. Of course, when I stop and think about it Gretchen is never really an uplifting spirit in the mornings (mornings aren’t her thing). It isn’t that she has regressed it’s just that she usually doesn’t respond.
I am battling exhaustion today but I keep reminding myself of Philippians 4:13 (and then I remind myself that we need to go to bed at a decent time as well). Peter doesn’t admit to the weariness but I think I see signs of it. We haven’t been getting to bed before 11:00 each night (and Sunday...) so that will help. It should be better tonight (and to be honest, Peter was ready for bed in record time following Scouts but there were other things to deal with).
Overnight the nurse brushed and braided Gretchen’s hair (I think she may have even cleaned it with the waterless shampoo). Thank you A.P.! I teased Gretchen about looking like a proper German girl now.
Gretchen was doing better at the 4:00 visit. I don’t know that she was conscious as much as she was yesterday but when she was she was more conversational. Her blood pressure was up over the last 24 hours so they have been medicating her for that and giving her morphine for pain/discomfort (I know she likes that morphine from prior hospitalizations).
They took out the A-line today (an A-line is an IV that is inserted into the artery in the wrist. It allows real-time blood pressure monitoring. They decided that she was responsive enough that they could go back to the cuff that checks every few minutes. That was a relief, one less potential source of infection.
Gretchen’s head is itchy, possibly where blood ran when they were inserting the drain. She doesn’t remember that she has a drain up there so they have to keep her hands restrained so she doesn’t tear at it when she is trying to scratch. She is vaguely remembering things from day to day but there is still confusion. I am sure part of that is the morphine (I’ve seen her under morphine before and she was easily confused).
God is truly gracious and I want to sing his praises. The spirit is not only willing but eager, unfortunately the flesh is weak tonight. I trust the rocks and stones are singing his praises in my stead.
If I awaken early enough to call before shift change I will try to get an overnight update and maybe add something before we leave for the 10:00 visit tomorrow (I am realizing how hard it is to update after the 4:00 visit).
Pray for my strength and for Gretchen’s. Pray that the drain will continue to drain and that it will work quickly and that Gretchen’s confusion will begin to lift. Peter is the strongest of us all but that is no surprise given how Gretchen has prayed over him (that Gretchen and I have been able to raise a child like Peter is a testament to God’s grace!). But do pray that he will continue in that strength and in patience (his outdoor play time has been sorely restricted given that his chief playmate is in the hospital).
Goodnight everyone, and thank you.
August 1, 2012 - 8:45 (special entry)
I did not get up in time to get a report from the night nurse (but I did get a much better rest than I have had in over a week). Gretchen’s sister Kris sent me a report on her visit last night:
I agree with Kris about minimizing how much we encourage Gretchen to talk and am going to try to have visitors limit their questions to yes or no answers so that Gretchen can reserve her voice for when it is necessary (like “I have an itch”).
I have heard from several people now that they can’t access GoogleDocs without an account. I chose GoogleDocs because it was easy for me and (it used to be) anyone with a link could access it. I tested it this morning (the one benefit to multiple computers and multiple email addresses) and found that it is the case. We have to go shopping on the way back from the 10:00 visit so I am hoping that Peter can go to his grandparents for lunch and the afternoon so that I can check out my options (probably either set up a blog or create my own website - neither option is appealing but I doubt that Google+ will allow just anyone to access what I post without creating an account...).
That’s all for now.
For those of you who don’t know what happened please allow me to recap for you:
Gretchen was a little draggy Sunday morning, August 12, but she decided to come to church anyway. I headed out early to go to Sunday School and she and Peter followed later. They seemed to be on time when I left but they arrived moments before Church started. The hymns were the majestic kind that truly allow her to praise God with her singing and she was in beautiful voice. I think that the second hymn was “Lift High The Cross” and it was especially wonderful to praise God through signing it.
Shortly after the hymn concluded Gretchen was complaining that it felt like her head would explode. I asked if she wanted me to take her home and she said she would just go sit in the office until it passed. Just before the end of the service one of the men in the church came in and told me that she was very sick. She was throwing up and still complaining about her head. Since she is known to have migraines I assumed this was related so we got her into the van and headed home. At some point she passed out but didn’t really look like she passed out (in the rearview mirror) so we continued home. When we got home it became increasingly clear that we needed to call 911 and get her to the ER. The First Responders arrived in two minutes, followed by the pros from the Tennessee side a minute or two later. By the time they were organized and ready the ambulance arrived (3 - 4 minutes later????).
Apparently she stopped breathing in the ambulance and they inserted an airway. When I finally got to see her it wasn’t good. A CT scan showed significant blood inside the brain. When the neurosurgeon arrived he wanted to insert a drain immediately and since the OR wasn’t available he explained it to me, dismissed me, and did it right in her room. By the time I was allowed back in Peter had arrived so I brought him back with me (good thing he is so tall because children need to be 14 to get in and it is only 2012). She responded to us with hand squeezes. Since she was so bad they couldn’t do an angiogram on her so they did a CT with dye and did not find an aneurism.
The night was rough. They would have let me stay but I knew I needed sleep so I came home and got 2 hours of sleep before I headed back in. By the time I got there shift change had started so I couldn’t get in to see her but the nurse told me that she seemed to be holding her own. Because of a weird quirk of timing, Kris (Gretchen’s sister) was able to get in to see her before work and had an encouraging report. Just before the 10:00 visiting time they called me up to go to radiology and sign papers so they could do an angiogram. The angiogram also showed no sign of aneurism so we still don’t know what the cause of the “leak” is.
I got to spend some time with her following the angiogram. She wasn’t responsive but I am not surprised given the description of what they did. After my visit with her I came home and sent the following email:
All,
To
those of you that have not heard that Gretchen was admitted to neural
ICU at Erlanger yesterday, I apologize. When your wife goes from
singing beautifully in church to a violent headache to unconscious in a
bit over an hour you tend to forget who you should contact. I also know
that I have probably forgotten people in this list, please feel free to
pass on as appropriate.
I
thank you for your prayers. God is truly powerful and sovereign. The
neurosurgeon told me that last night Gretchen was "circling the drain"
and now she is stable and responsive (I have not seen it but I trust the
nurses). She is still unconscious and on a respirator but she is
stable enough that they are enforcing the ICU visiting hours.
As
far as they can tell at this point it was not an aneurism.
Technically, what she had is a stroke...but not what most people think
of as a stroke (any interruption of the blood supply within the brain is
a stroke). They don't know what caused the bleeding and it seems to
have stopped so we are now in a wait and see mode.
I
pressed the doctor and he confirmed that we are not quite at the start
of a long road. Until she regains consciousness they cannot predict
anything about the road except that it is long. To that end, and with
Philippians 4:13 propping me up, I am going to attempt to establish a
new normal for life. I do not know how we will do it (Gretchen ran my
life for me, ran our home, orchestrated Peter's schooling, and was
Peter's chief playmate) but I can "...do all things through Christ who
strengthens me."
I will try to provide email updates to those who request them.
Finally,
I am emailing a broad base of people without hiding who is being
included. If you see that someone has been missed please forward this
on to them.
Praising God for His Faithfulness and praying for His Grace,
Brian
August 13, 2012 - 4:00 pm visit
God’s Grace is truly amazing! In less than 18 hours Gretchen has gone from “circling the drain” (the doctor’s words, not mine - I would have come up with something more distinctive) to discussing music history. Okay, that’s an exaggeration (more later). Gretchen is responsive and moving all extremities. She is trying to get the breathing tube out and she is answering yes/no questions. The nurse turned some classical music on for her and Eine Kleine Nachtmusik was playing so Peter asked if it was Mozart and she nodded yes (okay, that was an easy one but she’s had a rough couple of days).
We are by no means out of the woods but the progress is incredible. While we were there Peter was analyzing the respirator trying to figure it out and the nurse obliged. As she was explaining it to him she noticed (or he pointed out, I was only half listening...until that point) that the respirator was set to 14 breaths per minute and Gretchen was now breathing at 18 breaths per minute. That is a sign that they might start weaning her off the respirator. Since she was still fighting to get her hands free to remove the respirator I reminded her that she needs to leave it in for now but if she wants it out she needs to show them that she knows how to breath (so she bumped it up to 19 bpm briefly).
The biggest issue for me right now (other than a lack of sleep) is waiting on what God is revealing (and not reading more into what we see). This morning the doctor told me this is going to be a long recovery, possibly weeks in ICU and more weeks in a regular room before we even think of rehab. Now she is acting like she is ready to get back to her life. This morning I was trying to figure out how I was going to manage my job and everything that she does and now I am wondering if she is going to be mad because I canceled the trip to see my family on the 25th.
One other minor thing that has demonstrated God’s Grace. We have a lot of plants in pots this year (her hiscuses, some roses, and all my tomatoes and peppers, among other things) and the watering was always something that Gretchen had taken care of. I don’t mind doing it but I am still trying to work out how to fit everything in. I knew I wouldn’t have time and rain was not in the forecast so I prayed that it hadn’t been so hot that they couldn’t go two days without water (I haven’t been out much). Right as we were leaving to head down to see Gretchen it started to rain and we got over an inch in a little over an hour. God is Merciful!
August 14, 2012 - 12:45 (special entry)
I just got a call from a patient advocate at the hospital asking for some information and in the course of conversation she told me that GRETCHEN IS OFF THE RESPIRATOR!
August 14, 2012 - 4:00 visit
When God starts answering prayer be careful what you pray for!
Wonderful visit (well, except when she threw up all over the place...but even that had a good side)! Gretchen is indeed off the respirator and breathing on her own. She was able to converse with us though it was usually just answering questions but she did tell us about itches and ask us for assistance (her hands are restrained so she can’t reach the drain). Little things like a bit of leftover adhesive are quite annoying to her so that is a good sign. She isn’t very loud when she speaks but it just means that I have to pay attention so I know when she has something to say. That’s why she wound up throwing up all over everything, we didn’t hear her (probably a good thing we didn’t put our ears down close...ewwww).
Her blood pressure was high when we were there. I asked the nurse about it and she wasn’t concerned because when she doesn’t have visitors it drops right down. The high BP is because she is fighting for consciousness and alertness. A close family friend (someone very dear to all of us, but especially Gretchen) stopped by and when she greeted Gretchen and touched her hand Gretchen’s BP dropped by 10 points.
While we were visiting I noticed that the drain didn’t seem to be working. I pointed it out to the nurse and she said she had noticed it slowing down so maybe it was clotting. She said she would ask the doctor about it on his rounds. He called me later and we discussed it. He said he fiddled with it and it started working again (this thing sounds like my old VW bug) and they were going to monitor it because he didn’t want to have to put a new one in. He left open the option of removing it if she was doing well but he seems to avoid anything too positive before it happens (at the 10:00 visit they said the respirator might come out as early as tomorrow and then they took it out before 4:00).
Since I am updating this at a late hour I will add that Gretchen’s parents reported that at the 8:30 visit they even had her off the oxygen for a while (the nose thing makes her nose itch).
Gretchen made sure to kiss me when I was ready to leave so I take that as a good thing (but I’m selfish that way).
Yesterday morning, while getting my breakfast, things were pretty bleak. I didn’t know if Gretchen was going to live and if she did what condition would she be in. In desperation I cried out (quite literally) to the Lord pleading that she had suffered enough in her life and that I didn’t want to lose her so please give her a speedy recovery but if the option to keep her meant adding to her suffering to please take her quickly. After meeting with the doctor I began to hunker down and prepare for the long haul, expecting her to be unconscious for a few days at the very least, accepting God’s answer even if I didn’t like it. Next thing I know recovery is happening so fast that I just get used to one change and a new one is happening. I don’t know if God was waiting for my unconditional acceptance of his will but I know that my unconditional acceptance has made it so much easier to see His hand, rejoice exceedingly at the improvements, and still be prepared for a plateau or even some backsliding. I have even begun to joke that may have prayed in haste for a speedy recovery because at the rate she is going she’ll be home before I get the laundry folded!
I guess I should close for the night with thanks that God is good and that Gretchen is (as her uncle Jim used to say) one tough cookie (thanks again to God!).
August 15, 2012 - 8:05 (special entry)
Mornings are rough around the house. We haven’t really gotten to bed at a good time the last few nights so getting up in time to get things done and make 10:00 visiting is tough. Gretchen is doing well so it is important that we establish a routine as quickly as possible. Please continue to pray for Gretchen’s healing but add prayers for help for Peter and me establishing our routine (I am going to stop using the term “new normal” because I know that Gretchen doesn’t like catch phrases like that).
August 15, 2012 - 4:00 visit
The morning visits can verge on depressing, especially if there was a better report from the family for the 8:30 visit. Of course, when I stop and think about it Gretchen is never really an uplifting spirit in the mornings (mornings aren’t her thing). It isn’t that she has regressed it’s just that she usually doesn’t respond.
I am battling exhaustion today but I keep reminding myself of Philippians 4:13 (and then I remind myself that we need to go to bed at a decent time as well). Peter doesn’t admit to the weariness but I think I see signs of it. We haven’t been getting to bed before 11:00 each night (and Sunday...) so that will help. It should be better tonight (and to be honest, Peter was ready for bed in record time following Scouts but there were other things to deal with).
Overnight the nurse brushed and braided Gretchen’s hair (I think she may have even cleaned it with the waterless shampoo). Thank you A.P.! I teased Gretchen about looking like a proper German girl now.
Gretchen was doing better at the 4:00 visit. I don’t know that she was conscious as much as she was yesterday but when she was she was more conversational. Her blood pressure was up over the last 24 hours so they have been medicating her for that and giving her morphine for pain/discomfort (I know she likes that morphine from prior hospitalizations).
They took out the A-line today (an A-line is an IV that is inserted into the artery in the wrist. It allows real-time blood pressure monitoring. They decided that she was responsive enough that they could go back to the cuff that checks every few minutes. That was a relief, one less potential source of infection.
Gretchen’s head is itchy, possibly where blood ran when they were inserting the drain. She doesn’t remember that she has a drain up there so they have to keep her hands restrained so she doesn’t tear at it when she is trying to scratch. She is vaguely remembering things from day to day but there is still confusion. I am sure part of that is the morphine (I’ve seen her under morphine before and she was easily confused).
God is truly gracious and I want to sing his praises. The spirit is not only willing but eager, unfortunately the flesh is weak tonight. I trust the rocks and stones are singing his praises in my stead.
If I awaken early enough to call before shift change I will try to get an overnight update and maybe add something before we leave for the 10:00 visit tomorrow (I am realizing how hard it is to update after the 4:00 visit).
Pray for my strength and for Gretchen’s. Pray that the drain will continue to drain and that it will work quickly and that Gretchen’s confusion will begin to lift. Peter is the strongest of us all but that is no surprise given how Gretchen has prayed over him (that Gretchen and I have been able to raise a child like Peter is a testament to God’s grace!). But do pray that he will continue in that strength and in patience (his outdoor play time has been sorely restricted given that his chief playmate is in the hospital).
Goodnight everyone, and thank you.
August 1, 2012 - 8:45 (special entry)
I did not get up in time to get a report from the night nurse (but I did get a much better rest than I have had in over a week). Gretchen’s sister Kris sent me a report on her visit last night:
Had
a nice visit with Gretchen this evening. She faded in and out, but in
some moments she was very alert. She is worried the ventilator damaged
her vocal chords. Dad tried to assure her that her voice will come back
given time. Actually, I asked my dad if she should even be trying to
talk, and he said not very much, so maybe we shouldn't be encouraging
her to talk.
I agree with Kris about minimizing how much we encourage Gretchen to talk and am going to try to have visitors limit their questions to yes or no answers so that Gretchen can reserve her voice for when it is necessary (like “I have an itch”).
I have heard from several people now that they can’t access GoogleDocs without an account. I chose GoogleDocs because it was easy for me and (it used to be) anyone with a link could access it. I tested it this morning (the one benefit to multiple computers and multiple email addresses) and found that it is the case. We have to go shopping on the way back from the 10:00 visit so I am hoping that Peter can go to his grandparents for lunch and the afternoon so that I can check out my options (probably either set up a blog or create my own website - neither option is appealing but I doubt that Google+ will allow just anyone to access what I post without creating an account...).
That’s all for now.
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